What the spring can bring

What the spring can bring 

There I was on the official first day of spring 

Surrounded by countless beautiful flowers all of which different memories with each they bring 

Every flower different from one another in so many different ways but still all manage to send my tears rolling away 

I became intrigued by the various intense colours which only made all my memories all the more vivid 

For any colour that caught my eye caused me to recall my Mother and her many colourful dresses that she wore so elegantly comfortable while doing whatever she did

Then I went on to notice their perfectly imperfect petals and their softness despite their rough outline which made me think of my Mummy’s hands 

Her hard working hands from her never ending work caused her to loose her fingerprints and overall gave her hand a rare roughness which just like the pretty petals still managed to hold a soft touch 

I lost my senses while smelling the bed of fragrant flowers which brought me right back to almost having yet another panic attack , desperately wanting and needing my Mom like a spoil child who demands 

As I inhaled the vast variety of fruit-like fragrances with my eyes closed i exhale a sigh, raising up and looking up high at the sky craving for my beloved Mother, Sandra’s scent which I knew couldn’t come close to even start to attempt to heal my never ending always breaking heart if ever that much 

I continued along the row bowing my head all the more low as I watched with a tearful eye how each flower on its own was striving blooming up towards the sky 

Then I heard my special Sanj’s voice among all the great greenery “no matter who small or big when it’s time for a flower to bloom it comes out and stands tall” this made me lift my head up high 

As I roamed throughout the garden I found my lost self hating on myself they more I saw more and more plans I know my Mother would love , and the more sorry I became thinking back on all the times she planted her flowers all by herself 

I thought to myself trying to figure just how young I was the first time my Mother sent me to pick a flower and she taught me that once after six at night it was considered wrong to pick any flowers for the plants would be sleeping and in order for pick even a petal I’d have to seek permission from either one for it’s their right

I pondered about the possibility of anybody around me at that moment possibly having heard or learnt the same from their Mummy

I even wondered what happen if in fact I did ever think to pick a flower with the proper permission what would my punishment be for waking up the little flowers from their sleep

This made me realize their beauty for they are the one living thing in the world that was born to bloom with their main purpose being to beautify the earth

And that made me feel so glad that I understood respecting all flowers from a early age and it actually even made me accept if i did be it unknowingly ever disrespect flower regardless of how old I could be that I was truly accept the consequences or the curse

I looked around at so many flowers at the fair that I wanted to buy to for my Mother but I thought it would be unfair for I didn’t even know how to plant or replant anything myself 

I watched around at so many smiling faces at the spring festival and felt so lonely but somehow I was able to find solace in all the fresh flowers for there I could see my Sandy’s special smile 

I noticed too some of the few that held torns which pricked my already forever pierced heart and I wondered if my torn just like theirs could find a way to help me hold up together from falling apart 

The crocus looked so very fragile that it reminded of my Mom’s tender heart all the whole 

The daffodil delicious scent took me straight to the mornings with her spiced coffee and evening with weird well mixed tea 

The tulips, specifically “the everlasting mix” somehow with out a doubt made me think of 

how lucky I am to have been blessed to have a Mother who loved me like this 

The lilies of the valley flooded with with endless memories of all the many times my Mummy showered me with one too many still never enough of her one of a kind little kiss 

The hyacinth caused me to chuckle as I looked at it I saw my Mummy’s short crazy neatly messy mad cute head of hair 

The winter aconite was one sight that I know she would adore for she had a love for gold which assured me she would pick one of those if she was physically here 

And that’s what I did , I picked up my first flower not just for me but also for my Mother 

Finally just at the end like I found it just like the pot of gold at the end of any rainbow , I found a red orchid which is my Mother’s absolute ultimate 

Red being her favorite colour and orchid being her favorite flower , as I picked it up I couldn’t be any happier 

To buy my first flower in honor of my Mother : Sandra Sandy P.M Bassie , my legendary loving loyal red lady as rare as a red orchid

After my Mom’s passing I learnt so much about plants, mostly orchid and I was amazed to know that just like her they were all so extremely different and beautiful in their own way so the moment picked up the orchid plant I knew despite all the rest of my life being bad , my feeling sad and continuing getting mad with guilt and grief that this one was still a good day 

That is for me is what the spring can bring.......

written by - S.ArunaBassie