Adventures of Fishboy

“Honey, I’m home!”

“How was your trip?”

“Great! I caught a human.”

“Ooh! Lemme see!”

“Here.”

“Ooh! It’s a big one!”

“Yep.”

“How did you catch it?”

“Just laid a hamburger trap out and waited.”

“Oh, you are the best in the world!”

“Aw, thank you, honey!”

“You're welcome! Come on, let's throw it on the barby!”

“Alright.”

“What else did you do on your trip?”

“Chat with my cousin, terrorized the president, wreaked havoc on the city. You know, the usual stuff.”

“Oh, that’s nice!”

“Yep.”

“Come on, let’s barbecue already!”

“I’m coming I’m coming.”

“I’m turning on the grill.”

“Great! I’m carrying the stuff!”

“Howdedededo, neiborario!”

“Great, its Zanders.”

“What, honey?”

“Plunk off, Zanders!”

“Okludoklu!”

“Now, I lay this delicious looking human on the grill.”

“Yum, looks scrumptious!”

“Yes, it does!”

“I can’t wait ‘til it’s done!"

“Me too!”

“Hey, you!”

“Huh?”

“We need you to come with us.”

“Huh?”

“Official squirrel business!”

“What?”

"Just come with us, sir.”

“Uh… OK.”

“Thank you for cooperating with us. The last guy tried to run away and we threw acorns at him.”

“O…K?”

“Get in the van, sir.”

“Why?”

“Just do as we say.”

“You're not kidnapping me, are you?”

“No, sir.”

“Then, tell me what you’re doing. Who are you? Why do you want me?”

“We will explain once we drive off.”

“No, you will explain now.”

“Don’t make us use force, sir.”

“Is that a taser you’re holding in your furry paw?”

“Yes, sir.”

“THIS IS BLASTOMY! I demand that you— AAAAAAAHHHHH!... BITCH!”

“Don’t worry, the ride will be short.”

“Hey! Let go of me!... Open these doors!”

“We will tase you again.”

“Sit back and enjoy the ride.”

“Where? There are no seats back here.”

“Let’s turn on some music, shall we?”

“LET ME GO, GODDAMMIT!”

“Alright, you’ve been warned… Alfonzo, do it…”

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

“We’re here!”

“At the park?”

“Yes.”

“What are we doing here?”

“Youll find out… Alfonzo, stay in the van.”

“OK, boss!”

“You. Get out.”

“OK.”

“Follow me, sir.”

“Where are we going?”

“This is for your own good.”

“What is for my own good and where are you taking me?”

“Follow me.”

“What do you think I’m doing?!”

“Don’t get smart with me!”

“Please tell me what I’m doing.”

“Youll find out…”

“We’re at the lake. Sit down on the grass.”

“OK?”

“Good, now, are you hungry?”

“What?”

“Are you hungry?”

“No?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“OK, you won’t eat for a day.”

“Huh? Why?”

“You’re going in this lake.”

“What?”

“Goodbye, see you tomorrow.”

“What wait, hold on!... AAAAHHH!... WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!... RELEASE MY FOOT!... YOU CHAINED ME TO A LEAD BALL!... ARE YOU GONNA THROW ME IN THE LAKE?! I WILL DROWN!... NO, NO, NO, NO!... Hey, weird… I’m breathing!”

“Hello, Henry.”

“Who said that?”

“I did.”

“What? Where?”

“Over here.”

“Where?”

“Over here.”

“I don’t see—"

“Hello.”

 “BLAAAAGGGGHHHHH!”

“We’ve been waiting for you.”

“Waiting for me?”

“Huh-uh.”

“What for?”

“You’ll see. Come.”

“Why should I? Those squirrels kidnapped me and threw me in this lake and now I’m talking to a fish? I was drugged, was I?”

“No, this is real. You’re not hallucinating.”

“What do you want?”

“Come. I swear I will explain.”

“No, I won’t go with you!”

“Fine, I’ll tase you then.”

“Yeah, r— AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

“Now, come!”

“Why do I have to— AAAAAAHHHHH! AAAAAAHHHHH!”

“I could do this all day!”

“Alright! Aright! I’ll go with you!”

“Thank you, stubborn one.”

“Hey!”

“Well, you are.”

“I’m not stubborn!”

“Uh-huh.”

“Whatever — Wow, what is this place? Is it Atlantis?”

“No, Atlantis is not real… this is Georgis.”

“Georgis?”

“Yeah, welcome to Georgis!”

“It’s still amazing.”

“Thank you.”

“I gotta take pictures of this!”

“NO!”

“Hey, my phone!”

“This place shall stay secret.”

“Why? Marine biologists would have a field day if they saw this! Don’t you wanna be famous?”

“Fame is not what we’re looking for in life.”

“But, really, think of all the exposure you’d cause. My species thrive on knowledge. If you reveal yourselves, you’d astonish the world!”

“No.”

“I’ll get my friends to come down here and see.”

“You’re annoying and a jerk!”

“Hey!”

“Well, it's true.”

“No matter. I’ll take pictures…”

“No, you don’t!”

“HEY!”

“There. You can’t take pictures now.”

“You didn’t have to crush my phone!”

“Yeah, I did… Come on, let's go!”

“Nice house!”

“Thanks… This is my lovely wife, Manera. She doesn’t talk.”

“Oh. Hello.”

“She says hi.”

“Why can’t she talk?”

“Well, aren’t you rude!”

“Hey!”

“Come on, out to the backyard.”

“Alright, but I’m not rude!”

“This is Samuel, our pet. He’s very sick.”

“I’m sorry.”

“We want you to cure him.”

“Cure him?”

“Yes.”

“How? I don’t know a thing about starfish.”

“Please, you got to try!”

“I’m a salesman, not a marine biologist.”

“Just try.”

“But—"

“Please.”

“OK… Oh! It feels weird!”

“He.”

“I’m sorry., … he feels weird.”

“You’re not used to touching it.”

“That’s right! I don’t know anything about starfish except they can grow back limbs.”

“You just gotta try! He’s not doing well.”

“How was it behaving before?”

“He!”

“Sorry, he… how was he behaving before.”

“Like a normal starfish.”

“OK, can you give details?”

“He hasn’t been very active.”

“OK? What else?”

“Can you cure him?”

“Tell me what else is wrong with him.”

“He hasn’t been very active.”

“I know. You’ve told me that… and…”

“Not very active at all.”

“Well, starfish are supposed not to be very active.”

“Well, not Samuel.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Cure him.”

“How?”

“Just do it!”

“OK… he’s cured.”

“You didn’t do anything.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you just said he’s cured and nothing more.”

“Well, that just goes to show you how great of a marine biologist I am.”

“No, it doesn’t. You didn’t do any—"

“Fine, you got me! I didn’t cure your stupid starfish!”

“Rude!”

“And you wanna know why?... I don’t know crap about STARFISH!”

“You mean carp.”

“What?”

“You don’t know carp about starfish.”

“What?”

“Never mind, you’re stupid, anyway.”

“Yeah… well, bite me!”

“Fine, I will!”

“OW!”

“You like them apples?!”

“I’m leaving! Bye!”

“Oh! I bet you are!”

“Bye!”

“You messed up!”

“You again?”

“Yes, your ‘kidnapper’. You were mean to that family.”

“They wouldn’t listen to me.”

“Excuses are like thorns. Nobody wants them.”

“You’re a talking squirrel. You try curing their stupid starfish then! I’m out!”

“No! you must do it!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do.”

“I can’t cure the starfish!”

“I’ll call you Fishboy then.”

“What?”

“Fishboy, Jerk of the Sea.”

“Whatever, take me home.”

“No, Fishboy.”

“Please, I just wanna be back with my family!”

“No, Fishboy, you must stay down here. You’ve been a bad Fishboy!”

“Ow! You thumped my nose!”

“I did, didn’t I, Fishboy?”

“Quit it!”

“No, Fishboy.”

“Ow!”

“What’s the matter? Fishboy hates getting his nose flicked?”

“Yes… OW!”

“Hurts, doesn’t it?”

“Yes… OW! Quit it!”

“Make me, Fishboy!”

“OW!... Oh, yeah?”

“OW! You pulled my tail!”

“I did, didn’t I? Now, take me home, GODDAMMIT!”

“No!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

“That’s right! I tased you again, BITCH!”

“Why, you furry BASTARD!”

“Miss me, miss me! Now you gotta kiss me!”

“Man, just take me home!”

“I’m not a man! I’m a squirrel!”

“Whatever. Take me home.”

“You’re a broken record. Take me home, take me home.”

“SHUT UP!”

“Ooh! Good punch! Shame it missed me, miss me, now you gotta kiss me!”

“What do you want from me?!”

“I told you already. To cure that pet starfish.”

“I told you. I can’t!”

“You have to!”

“Why?”

“It’s the right thing to do.”

“But I don’t know how.”

 “Excuses are like dogs. Nobody wants them! I’m a squirrel. I know these things.”

 “STOP IT!”

“No yelling in the lake, sir!”

“I CAN YELL ALL I WANT!”

“Then, I tase you again.”

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

“You like them apples, Fishboy… Fishboy?... uh-oh… I killed him!”