When I Stepped Outside It Was Already Over

When I Stepped Outside It Was Already Over

By the time I stepped outside the leaves were on fire. No, not literally, but we were in fall now. How could this happen? The last time I closed my eyes, the leaves were gone, and the trees were frosted over. Why was I in a hospital? So many things were running through my mind, but no one would tell me anything. Their lips were moving but I couldn’t hear them. What is wrong with me? Why isn’t anything working? Am I broken? 

They were trying to explain to me what had happened, but I was too scared to even try to understand them. At that moment the only person I wanted by my side wasn’t there. Why weren’t they there, did they stop loving me in the time that I was asleep? I used to laugh at people when they would wake up from a thirty minute nap and say they felt like that was only three minutes, but now, in this time I truly understood. “It isn’t your fault,” they kept saying. I don’t know what they’re talking about, but somehow I feel like it is my fault. You see, before I fell asleep, or did whatever I did, everything was always my fault. So, why wouldn’t it be now. Why is everyone being so nice to me, I mean I'm not complaining, I'm just confused. Was I the only one that was asleep for a long time? I don’t remember much from the day that I fell asleep. The last thing I remember seeing is the back of an ambulance. No one was there, just me and the EMT’s. Where was everyone, and who called the ambulance? I know it wasn’t me, I physically wouldn’t have been able to dial 911. 

Enough of the flashbacks, back to reality. Now I am a little bit more calm, and I am able to hear what they are saying now. My favorite person in the whole world has arrived, now I feel safe. No one was there when it happened, but I guess there was a lot of blood. They weren’t even sure if I was going to pull through or just lie there forever. How will we find out what actually happened to me? Who would want to hurt someone the way that I have been hurt? It isn’t fair to me or anyone else that has to go through this. Am I the reason this happened? Maybe I just fell down the stairs or something. 

Now there are too many people, it has become overwhelming in this small room. I just want to go home, but they won't release me. They said they want to monitor me for a few days and see how I'm feeling. I lost most of my movement, I need to build it back up. Laying there without moving for a long time has really put a strain on my body. It doesn't work the way it used to, the way everyone wants it to, the way I want it to. I guess a part of me thought things would be different after this. Maybe things would actually go my way for once, you know, but I was wrong like always. 

Anyways, I am able to go home now. The ride home was awkward, everything around town looks different. I didn’t want to question it because I didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Everything in my house looked different, my own room didn’t even look the same. Why does the calendar say October 2045 when I fell asleep it was December of 2030. Have I really not been here for 15 years? I guess that really sums up what happened to me, but I still want my answers. I have to do my best to remember what really happened to me; I don't believe what they have told me. It all is slowly coming back, just in very small pieces. These people that I used to call my family now feel like strangers. They have all changed so much while I was asleep. But me, well what about me? I'm still the same person I was 15 years ago, right? I didn’t do anything for 15 years, I just layed there, there is no way anything changed about me emotionally or mentaly. I guess me being gone for such a long time put a toll on my family though. They all seem sad, depressed even. Shouldn’t they be happy though, I am home now. 

What else happened while I was gone, what aren’t they telling me? Something is definitely wrong and I am making it my mission to find out what it is. Who was here before the accident that is missing now? I can hardly remember, but I suppose the pictures that are all around the house could help me out in that department. Did we have a dog? I think we had a dog, no wait, we didn’t. No one has said anything about anyone else being completely gone or even gone the way that I was. I keep telling myself that they would tell me if something had happened to one of them while I was away, but would they? Honestly I don’t know, they never were honest with me about much before the accident, so what would make them change now? They are trying to get me to believe that I fell out of the tree in the backyard. I think that is a lie; I remember being in my room before I was in the back of the ambulance. 

There are no marks on my body that I could see in the mirror after my shower. However, when I touch my head it feels tender. Did I hit my head on something in my room or did someone hit me with something and send me into a coma? Wouldn’t it take more than a little head bumping incident to send someone into a coma for more than ten years though? Maybe it is better that I just take their word for it and go to sleep. My head still hurts, but at least I am okay and home now.