Catching Up

Well shit.

The code officer was right.

When I arrived late that afternoon after work the house was a hot mess as usual. All the hard work I did to get the municipality off her back was undone in less than three months.

My little sister had stacks and stacks of unused building materials piled everywhere, even under her house and deck. Vinyl siding, wood, old metal railings, stacks of shingles—all of it in the wide open, baking in the sun.

Her recently wrecked blue car sat in the driveway up on a jack with the front passenger side wheel off. I looked under the new porch I had paid for—yup there’s the tire. I walked around the car. The driver’s side window was shattered and tarped. It blew in and out with the breeze in concert with the dangling front bumper. The car was only a few months old and she’d  wrecked it three times already.

           I pulled an old Arby’s napkin out of my purse and dabbed the sweat from each of my temples and my upper lip. It was an ungodly hot day. I walked over to her trash cans along the side of the driveway and tossed the napkin inside. I didn’t look in. I knew from the wafting stench and flies what was in there.  Diapers always smell a certain way. As usual the stupid lids were missing. I’m shocked they made it out of the house into the cans. My stomach lurched. I better get out of here before my Cheetos come up.

I walked from her driveway to the sidewalk crossing in front of the house and then along the side to the back to the rear three story deck. I sat on the steps—the only safe part of that monstrosity. I just need to hit my vape pen before I talk to her. I’ll never survive otherwise.

           I took a drag.

         This is so typical. Even in old age I have to bail her out. It wasn’t enough to have to tear her porch down and build her a new one---now this too.

           Blow it out.

Another drag.

Of course she would get sick with something that makes me the legally responsible one. She didn’t plan it but she might as well have.

Blow it out.

Another drag.

My whole life has been fixing her problems. From returning stolen crap, to finding her when she ran away, to raising her kid, to now this stupid hoarded up monstrosity.

Blow it out.

I could feel the cannabis calming me down. I wasn’t going anywhere until it did the job completely. I looked around. A broken concrete bird bath caught my eye. I’d thrown it in the dumpster when the porch was done and she’d dragged it back out. Typical.

Darcy was effective at getting things she wanted--good for her or not. This time it was a property full of messes, dysfunction, and useless items. To her everything had a purpose and a justification, but to the rest of us it was junky and gross—except to the rats who had moved in along with the mice and spiders. Quite a nice little hostel for all of them going on in here.

The code officer had asked me to let her into the house multiple times but I’d refused. No one was gonna see what’s in there but me until just the right time. I needed to get guardianship first. No easy feat.

 Darcy had tried to eat wood pellets at my house at Christmas. That sent me off to the races to get the care she needed. What I found was she wasn’t paying bills. I already knew she couldn’t remember phone conversations we had. I also knew she’d wrecked each of her cars—new and old. More recently she repeated the same question even after I answered her—and not only me—but everyone who knew her. I also had to come rescue her more than once from her piles of junk after she’d lost her balance or had a small avalanche. Contractors had ripped her off multiple times.

           Two months later when I finally got her in to see Dr. Grimansky her primary care physician—it’d been ten years since she saw him last--he revoked her license and referred her out to neuro. She was angry and took some swings at me and him.

He took it well.

Two weeks later she had a dementia diagnosis. I filed the paperwork with the courts, we had a hearing, I presented all of my evidence and her court appointed attorney did his best. Two hearings later the judge granted me permanent guardianship. Probably because she kept approaching the bench and was obviously confused about everything. The yelling at him didn’t help.

So here I was to tell her she had to leave her home. I had to get her into the car and to a home where she would be cared for by strangers. Somewhere she would lay her head every night until her last. How on earth am I going to get her out of the house? How can you rip someone’s life away even if it’s a mess? Goddamnit! Is that guilt I’m feeling? After everything her and I have been through? No! I am NOT going to feel bad for her. Not this time.

Of course it was too late. My eyes stung and my nose stuffed up. I couldn’t cry though. If she saw me crying she would know something was up. I stood up and wiped my tears with the back of my hand. I turned toward the house still unsure what I was going to say and ready for a fight.

“Jenny?” a female voice said from the street. “Jenny are you back there? I saw your car and thought I would stop. Can I talk to you?”

I stopped dead in my tracks.

It was the code officer.

For once I was actually a little relieved.

“Sharon? C’mon back here I’m on this ridiculous deck.”

I could hear footsteps and then around the corner of the deck Sharon’s short four foot eleven stature emerged. She was sweating and trudging with her clipboard and tablet. Her curly brown hair kept falling out of her ponytail and sticking to her petite face. She kept tucking it into her blue CODE ENFORCEMENT ball cap.

“I’m guessing you heard she wrecked her car? The police chief told me you were gonna be around soon.”

“Yeah I know how she wrecked it too. Did he tell you she was driving without a license? That she hit a damn parked car and flipped right over off it?” I imitated the movement with my hand.

Sharon let out a long whistle. “I’m not surprised. Totally something she would do.”

Just then I had a thought. Maybe Sharon could help me get Darcy out. Maybe if I give her what she wants...

“Hey Sharon I think I’m ready to let you inside.”

Her face changed. Her eyebrows creased and she studied my face looking for some sign of a mistake. “Jenny she’ll never let me in. Not in a million years. We’ve been over this. Unless you have something up your sleeve—” she stopped after she saw me tear up again.

Stupid dumb eyes with their stupid liquid feelings.

Sharon set her stuff down on the step and dug out a tissue from her cargo pocket for me. “What’s going on? Do you have guardianship?” she asked gently.

Not wanting to rehash recent events I simply nodded yes and dabbed my eyes looking away.

“Well that’s a big deal. If you want me to go in I will but I gotta put on some PPE first. What’s your plan?”

I kept looking away and dabbing.

“Holy shit. Are you trying to remove her? You need me to condemn the place huh?”

I nodded again looking back into her eyes. They were full of concern. I looked down at the deck. All the fight I had arrived with had dissipated. Probably the damn vaping.

Sharon kicked a pile of aluminum cans with her boot and looked out at the yard. They clattered under the porch and hit some scrap metal. She’d been running in circles with my sister for five years. She looked back at me and let out a long sigh.

           “Ok. I get it. I’ve seen this before. I’m gonna get my stuff. I’ll be ready in ten minutes. Lemme call my building inspector. I’d rather let him issue the condemnation to be honest.” She pulled her phone off her belt and made the call while she walked out of earshot. Her voice trailed off and all I could hear was the drone of Darcy’s tv inside. She had just switched it on. It was so loud neighbors could hear it all hours.

Ten minutes later Sharon and Titus the inspector walked back together looking ready for a pandemic.

“Is all of that necessary? I mean I just wear a mask and that seems enough.”

Sharon’s PPE was too big for her and some was dragging or hanging over her hands.

“Standard procedure Jenny. You ready?”

             No I was not ready. How can anyone be ready for this?

“Ok. Phew. Let’s go. Just lemme do the talking. She’s already pissed at me.”

I lead the way up the stairs to the door on the second floor of the deck. I took another quick drag of my vape pen and then knocked a few times. We waited a while. Boxes and bags of stuff were piled up against the windows in the bedroom—or what was once a bedroom anyway. The inspector checked boxes on his tablet while Sharon snapped pictures.

           This is nothing. Wait until we get inside.

The tv shut off. Here we go. Slowly my sister’s head popped out from around a corner. She made her way to the sliding glass door through the junk. The door unlocked with a click! as she slid it open a crack. Rotting food, excrement, and mold wafted out into my nostrils. I flinched but didn’t move. Her dark brown dyed hair was dirty and hung in strings around her wide eyes. The roots were white. Her faded yellow sweater had holes in it and loads of brown stains dotted the front. My heart sunk in my chest like a rock in a pond. I swallowed hard.

“Darcy these nice folks wanna come in and take a look around.” My voice was solid despite the nervous shakes spreading through me.

She looked piercingly at both of them. The PPE confused her and she clearly didn’t remember who they were. Thank God for little mercies.

“They wanna look around?” She looked suspiciously back and forth between them and me, “They want to look around you said? Why? Would they want to come in?”

Her voice was rising.

“Darcy they want to help you. They need to take a look around. They—”

“No! I don’t need anyone’s help!” she screamed and started to slide the door shut. I jammed my foot in-between the door and the jamb . So glad I wore my steel toe shoes today. My heart rate had picked up and I went from nervous to angry.

My normal state with my sister.

“Darcy, I’m letting them in. You don’t have a say anymore. This has gone far enough!”

I wrenched the door open. She fell backward into a pile and a bunch of bags dropped on her head. She stood back up ferociously.

“This is my house-- I’m not letting them in. They don’t wanna help they wanna kick me out!” She spat the last few words out like a bitter food. “This is my house—my house!” She grabbed the handle and started slamming the door on my foot.

“That may be,” I said, through gritted teeth, “but the judge granted me control on Monday remember?” She stopped mid-slam and stared at me in disbelief. And here it is.

“The judge granted you control?” she said confused, between the crack.

“Yes Darcy, when we were in court, on Monday.”

“Court on Monday? When we were in court on Monday?”

I calmed down some. “Yes Darcy we were in court on Monday. Remember?”

“Court on Monday. Monday. No. I didn’t have court on Monday I was home.”

Well aware that Sharon and Titus were waiting behind me I pressed her more.

“No, we were in court on Monday. The judge gave me guardianship of you.” All the anger drained out of my body and my legs went weak.

“Guardianship. He gave you guardianship. Monday? You say on Monday? I have to be in court on Monday?” God this is painful.

“No Darcy, we were in court on Monday. I was granted guardianship. I get to say who comes into the house.” She let go of the door handle. Her face had lost all of its fight. I felt like shit but went on, “Sharon and Titus are going to come in now. They aren’t going to move anything. They are just going to take a little tour to see how to help you and then leave.” Liar. You’re lying Jenny. They’re going to condemn your sister’s house and then you’re going to have her placed in a care home. It’s some really low shit.

She looked at me and then the two of them. That part of her that still functioned partly understood everything—enough that she had no say in Sharon and Titus coming in her house.

“Well fine c’mon then. I’m not leaving though Jenny. No matter what they say—I’m not leaving. I’m not leaving Jenny. It’s my house. I’m not leaving.”

We stepped through the door and I pulled my mask up.

The inspection was quick. We all knew the outcome. Darcy had a reason for everything she collected or did and they listened patiently only asking questions to understand if something worked or not and maybe why.

We met out front while Darcy stayed in the house looking out through the dirty yellow curtains. Sharon and Titus took off their PPE and put it in special plastic garbage bag and walked over.

“Thanks for letting us in. I know you think you’re doing the wrong thing but this is exactly what she needs. This is the right thing.” Sharon put her hand on my shoulder as she looked into my eyes, “You’re a good sister. I hope you believe that. You need to believe that.” She gave me a squeeze.

“How much time do you need?” Titus asked quietly.

I looked at him. I could see my fragile expression in his glasses. Yikes. Hold it together girlfriend this isn’t even the homestretch.

I took my mask off and busted my vape pen out taking a drag.

Titus sighed and then asked me again. “It can be as little as 72 hours or a week. You tell me what you want. I’m giving you a choice as a favor.”

I looked at him and then the house. Her tv was blaring through the wall again. How many times did I get calls from neighbors about that stupid tv?

“I have a home lined up already for her and need to sell this place to help pay for it. I’m taking her out of here today. You can post it right after.” I kept looking at the house. Darcy opened the curtains again and locked eyes with me. “I got the neighbor bringing a crew to clean it out in two days too so we can sell it. I’ll have you inspect it again next week if that’s ok?”

“Fine by me.”

Titus shook my hand and left. Huh. Not a big talker that one.

Sharon gave me a hug. “Jenny if there’s anything you need let me know. I’ve been praying for you guys. I’m busy Mondays but otherwise you know I’m always around.”

“I will. I appreciate it. I’ll be ok though really.”

“Ok then. Titus will placard the doors today. You want paperwork sent here or your house?”

“Just send it here. I’ll get it before we sell it.”

“Will do. God bless you.”

“Thanks. Bye.”

“Goodbye.”

Sharon walked to her car, fired up her engine, and pulled away.

 My legs went out from under me and I crumpled. I managed to get up and shakily sit down on the new front porch steps next to a broken boom box and an old rotary phone. The cassette door was open. I gingerly pushed it closed. It popped back open. It’s broken. Figures.

I lifted my vape pen to my lips and took a drag.

Tears were rolling down my face.

This is so typical. Even in old age I have to take care of her.

I turned my knees to the side resting them on the step below the porch junk. The rotary phone was brown and beat to hell. I lifted the receiver and slammed it down in the cradle. The bells gave a defiant jingle inside. Now there’s something you don’t get to do anymore. I picked up the receiver and slammed it down over and over my voice ringing out, “Why me? Why has it ALWAYS got to be ME? I’m so sick and tired of this!” Hot wet tears rolled down my face and into my mouth. The phone didn’t break. This just pissed me off more so I winged it over the railing and into a pile of siding. The bells dinged one more time as it hit and rolled down on its side.

I walked around the house to the back steps and wiped my tears with my sleeve. There’s not going to be a good time to do this so I might as well get it over with. You can’t run forever.