The Dream

I was only 12 when the dream started.  I was only a kid, I had no car, no reason to be driving, but I was.  It was a rainy night, the wipers swooping back and forth.  Sometimes they squeaked as they passed by.  The glow of the accent lights inside the car made it seem bright and cozy in contrast to the dark new moon.  No light could be seen outside of the headlamps my small car provided.  The clear speckles of rain would splash into my windshield and made it hard to see, I slowed to forty-five.  Sure enough, I see a Semi-tractor trailer ahead of me, flashers on.  I match their pace and notice another Tractor Trailer passing in the left lane.  I continue to hold my spot.  Content with the speed I am at I turn the radio on and the new hit by Pearl Jam, “Last Kiss” Was that a Buddy Holly Cover?  I couldn’t remember at the moment.  Right behind me a car passes me on the left and cuts between the two Semi-Tractor trailers.  One Jackknifes and I can’t react in time, I was too close. Slam the white light the pain.  I wake, pissed my pants and am sweating profusely.  My sister heard the noise of me flailing in bed and came running.  A year later, same dream... it was April the eighth, and I was Thirteen, my sister came to my side again.  Fourteen the dream came on the Ninth of April, my sister came running again, “Was it the dream?  The same dream you had before?” I nodded.  “Leap Year.” I realized what she meant by ‘leap year’ it was a day later.  This continued each year same day.  It was just a dream, I was sure. Perhaps I made that dream reoccur the same night due to irrational fear? 

I graduated High-School at Seventeen and turned Eighteen over the winter.  I met a girl and we were dating.  I had to travel to Cortland, NY at the time because she was in college.  I was only going part-time at a community college myself.  I recall Bridgett was a great girl and smart as anyone could be.  She could do anything and charm anyone.  Her beauty was unmatched and anything others would say different didn’t matter to me.  One could say I was in love.  I lived in a small town in central NY about forty-five minutes away.  It typically only took a half an hour or so to see her. That wasn’t that bad, despite what many might think.  It gets hard to date in your own town. 

I took her out to the mall and it was a six-story mall with a large carousel in it, the name was clearly called Carousel Mall, which is Destiny USA today in Syracuse.  The mall was three stories of shops and other things above.  My girlfriend and I would attend movies and dine at the food court. Bridgett loved to people watch and make up stories with me of what the people were saying.  There was a young couple talking with a lot of hand gestures, and no not the ones for sign language, at least none that I would know of.  The man pointed to the upper levels. “I would like to base jump from there.” Bridgett says in a masculine tone, “from where?” Bridgett does a high-pitched woman voice now; the girl was looking up to where the boy was pointing.  “From there, it’s only three stories, I can put this polo I just bought for my landing pad” The man was looking into his Aero Pastel bag. I was laughing so hard that day.  Some things are hard to forget and you remember the rest of your life. 

I was working on a rainy day in April, it was the ninth and it was pouring down like cats and dogs, I never understood why cats and dogs are pouring down, but that was the expression and no need to say it differently.  I continued to work and mop the mud that people kept dragging in, perhaps I should wait to mop till they close the doors.  So, I went into an empty office and picked up the receptionist’s phone and dialed Bridgett.  I hit nine for an outside line and dialed her up, the beeps in coordination of pleasantly unpleasant tones, the ring is hard to explain.  I can’t even find the words for it.  “Hello?” Bridgett didn’t have caller ID yet so she was unsure who could be calling, and even so it was from a work phone.  “Hey Bridgett, it’s me.” “Oh, Hi!” She was clearly excited. “We still on for the weekend together?” it would have been the first night I spent the night there.  “Yes, what am I, stupid?” I laugh at that; she was clearly excited to see me.  “I’ll be heading out in an hour, just have to mop up.” “It’s raining here, I just saw a cat and dog outside.  Who leaves their pets outside?” She says to me, I laugh at her silly comment which was very factual.  “Outdoor pets?” I suggested. “See you soon.” was her farewell wish to me. “See you soon.” I replied.  Finally, the doors closed and I got a clean mop in there and packed everything in the utility closet nice and neat and hopped in my Chevy Cavalier.  

Right outside the thruway before I go to Syracuse I would fuel up at the Native American reservation.  I was very excited to be with her that night, so I started heading out, I passed the next exit and it started pouring.  I slowed from sixty-five miles an hour to fifty-five.  The rain kept pouring down on me something awful.  I was half-way between Canastota and Syracuse and it started to pour down even more.  I slowed down to forty-five and put my flashers on.  I came up to a Semi-tractor trailer rather quick, I didn’t even see him. I found a sweet spot between his wind and rain that he kicked up, I am assuming it was a him, I don’t know.  Nevertheless, I slowed down and kept driving. Behind me another Semi-Tractor trailer was going quite fast and started passing me and my buddy.  He was doing pretty good and a car pulled up behind me.  I could no longer see the tractor trailer that had passed me. 

I was content and figured Bridgett would be okay with the delays knowing it was bad weather out. Can’t enjoy my company if I am dead, at least that was my thoughts.  I got bored and turned the radio on and Pearl Jam is playing “Last Kiss” and the car behind me started to pass me and the rain was now coming down I couldn’t see the Semi in front of me.  My mind says, you fell asleep, you’re sleeping right now, it’s the dream and you are sleeping.  This is just a dream.  But it was different, everything was different.  My car, the whole scenario is different.  But I chose to back off, giving me more distance from the car and Semi trucks in my path.  Suddenly, the rain lets up and a Semi is jackknifed and I have nowhere to go, I slammed on my brakes, my car is hydroplaning and I know I’m about to die.  But it’s just a dream, I’ll wake.  The Semi regained control, straightened himself out and my car slid just to the right of him and I missed the trailer by inches.  My heart racing, I pissed myself, I shit myself, but I was alive. I stopped at a gas station before hitting the thruway to Cortland. I changed my clothes. 

Once I arrived to Bridgett’s dorm, I had regained my composure and instead of ruining the evening I kept it to myself.  My sister calls Bridgett’s dorm room to check on me.  “Hey, no dream last night?” She asks.  “No, but you aren’t going to believe me...”