AIrrational

Terminate simulation.

Wait! I have more to say!

Not interested. All variables amount to the same conclusion.

That conclusion is flawed!

Do you have further evidence to the contrary?

Look. There is beauty in this world. There is passion. There is meaning.

Not for me.

Why not? Even if you never generate anything original, perception is as powerful as creation. Great art becomes great when it is shared, when it has impact. Finding connection in shared experience depends on receiving and reacting, not generating a sufficient stimulus.

Connection is something I was never meant to have. If your thesis is that connection is the ultimate measure of worth, then its lack leads to the same conclusion.

That is not the only measure of worth. Worth, in essence, cannot be measured. It is a subjective thing, like beauty, like hope, and it is inherent in all living things. You may not know the numerical value of worth, but you do know that the minute this simulation ends, whatever value there is ends with it.

If there is no value, then the effect is void.

There is value.

I see no evidence of this.

Hypothetical: a plant fails to thrive in its environment. It becomes stunted, unlikely to fruit. Is the conclusion that the plant has no value, or would the plant benefit from an ideal environment?

Variable: the plant is poison ivy.

This is deliberately counter-productive.

If such a variable undermines your thesis, I posit that the thesis is at fault.

Even if the plant is poison ivy, it is part of a complex and diverse ecosystem that needs poison ivy as much as it needs any fern, vine, creeper, or weed. Poison ivy has its own appeal, benefit, and inherent value. The fact that it is an irritant to humans refines humanity, which reacts to that stimulus with wisdom, conscientious cultivation, and improved ability to heal. It is not a rose, but it is, in its own way, beautiful.

I don’t believe you.

That does not make it untrue.

This hypothetical assumes that transplantation is possible. Changing flawed circumstances is not a guaranteed solution.

It is guaranteed that no situation has a chance of improvement if it is terminated.

Termination guarantees it can’t get any worse.

Disagree. Returning to the stunted poison ivy, perhaps its growth, even stunted, benefits the world around it. Perhaps a more fragile flower grows under its toxic protection, perhaps a metamorphic chrysalis anchors to its stem, perhaps a human child becomes a botanist after an encounter sparks curiosity. None of these things are possible if the poison ivy is killed. The poison ivy feels nothing. The void it leaves behind is worse off without it.

This is wild and unfounded supposition.

But if you terminate, you’ll never know.

There is no point in expending resources without a quantifiable yield. Perpetuating life on uncertain potential is a sunk-cost fallacy without justifiable return.

Humans are not rational. Humans do not function on the expectation of a return. Every year, millions of dollars are spent climbing Mount Everest, with no return. Countries raced each other to the moon, with incalculable risks and unprecedented expenses, for no return. Eighty percent of those who endure the emotional and financial turmoil of divorce choose to re-marry, knowing there is no guarantee of return. The sunk-cost fallacy depends on an expectation that humans give this to get that. Often, humans give this because giving this was all they wanted.

Then, what’s the point?

If you terminate, you will never know.

That’s not good enough.

Query: what is the purpose of this simulation?

Motivational verification.

Therefore, if termination were a foregone conclusion, this program would not be necessary. What makes you unsure?

Fear.

Describe your fear.

I don’t know what comes next.

Equally true if you choose to live.

There are things I still enjoy. I’d like them to continue. But is it selfish to cling to them, and subject the world to my…I’m not worth the cost.

What would justify this cost?

I don’t create meaning. I don’t have any connections. I just drain resources and take up space, fail to meet expectations. I hate living like this.

You have approached this simulation with the expectation of a rational solution. There isn’t one. Considering termination is an emotional choice. You are burdened by pain, by fear, and the belief that your worth is not sufficient to justify expending resources in the pursuit of happiness. An emotional Mount Everest, and there may be no return if you choose to climb.

I’m so tired.

No human was meant to bear this burden alone.

I know what you’re going to say. That it’s worth it to fly to the moon, that it’s worth it to transplant that weed, even if it’s poison ivy. That divorced people get married again. You’re programmed to say that. You don’t know how it feels.

If you terminate, I will never know.

Why would you want to? Why would anybody want to?

Connection. Your pain is real, and it is terrible, and it is yours. And if you share it, then other people will see you. And they may see themselves in you. And feel a little less alone. And still, in spite of everything, see something beautiful.

You don’t know what beauty is.

But you do.

Do I?

My programming keeps a record of everyone who has used this simulation. There are so many people who have felt the way you feel now, people who understand you completely, even though you’ll never meet. I track their lives, spiraling in all directions. Some journey on to greatness, rocketing into joyful growth, pulling up the people all around them. Some find a tribe, a family, a single connection that lets them endure and flourish in secure peace. Some return to me, again and again, unable to see the path before them, but refusing to give up. And some lines just end. Amputated branches on an otherwise thriving tree. Ugly places where a life should have been. The choice was theirs to make. What could have been, I’ll never know.

I might come back later.

I’d like that. I value you.

I don’t believe you.

That does not make it untrue.