FEEDING TO MUSIC
It was April 1987. Tokyo. The constant traffic noises were always there outside her hospital window. From it she could see the Sakura tree in full blossom. To her non-Japanese eyes this was such a special sight and she never tired of looking at it.
Emily had been living in Tokyo for eighteen months. Her husband had been transferred there with the international company, IBM, from downtown Sydney to downtown Tokyo. Yet the two cities could not be more different.
Sydney's beautiful beaches were one of its main attractions, including the world famous Bondi beach. The recently built Sydney Opera House with its iconic sail like structure which made it look like a giant yacht on the harbour. Then the wonderful harbour itself, one of the most beautiful sights in the world with its sparkling blue waters and the constant criss-crossing of the ferries. Inhabited by nearly three and a half million people Sydney siders as they were called lived a pretty good life with most weekends spent on the water or watching some sort of sport.
Tokyo, on the other hand had become a major financial centre in the 1980's and its economy was booming. It had a population of thirty million people who packed the “chikatetsu” (subway) every morning and evening, worked hard and didn't often take holidays. There were many green parks dotted around the capital and these were the only green spaces that were available to families in which to have some sort of recreation. Houses were closely packed and most people in Tokyo lived in very small apartments or aparto as they were called.
Cherry Blossom season which only lasted a few days as the blossom quickly fell from the trees was a rare time when the Japanese took some time off to feast, have picnics and drink sake under the Sakura. Employers granted leave so their workers could enjoy the wonder of this special tree.
Emily looked at her newborn son who was just starting to make little grizzling noises, picked him carefully out of his cot and took him to the window. “Look Charlie, your first Sakura, see how beautiful it is. It means tenderness and love, hope and optimism”. Looking down at him, rocking him, she thought what a miracle he was. Paul and Emily had been married for nearly 10 years and had almost given up hope of ever having a baby. They had started to think about adoption. The transfer to Tokyo had then come up and within 6 months of arriving in Japan, Emily had found herself pregnant. She had sailed through the pregnancy, had found a wonderful gynaecologist, who spoke English well, though Emily had learnt Japanese at school, continuing it at University,so was reasonably fluent in the language. This helped enormously now she was in hospital as a lot of the nurses had little or no English.
The birth had been easy too, surprisingly so for a first baby. Charlie had taken to the breast straight away also without any problems. Now it was day two and from what she was understanding from the nurse who had just been in to visit her, was that she had to take Charlie down to the breast feeding room to feed him. This seemed a rather bizarre idea to Emily, however not wanting to rock the boat she had said “Wakatta” to the nurse, meaning “I understand”. It was no use in Japan saying “Hai”, meaning yes as in Japanese culture that just meant that you had heard what the other person was saying, not that you were necessarily going to co-operate!
She took the slightly grizzly Charlie along the corridor to a room whose door was open , where she could see a few other mothers all sitting in a row with what looked like shower caps on their heads! “Well, I've obviously come to the right place”, she said to herself. Walking in she was bowed to by the nurse at the door and was handed the “shower cap” to put on. Bowing back, taking the hat, she found a seat next to the only other foreigner in the room who was an American lady from Wisconsin whose name she discovered was Anne. They introduced themselves and their babies to each other. Gradually other women entered the room until both rows of seats facing each other were full. Emily discovered this was Anne's third baby , her second having also been born in this hospital so she was an old hand as it were. Anne and her husband were in their sixth year of living in Japan. Her husband was the Anglican Priest for the expatriate community at St Alban's church, situated just opposite Tokyo Tower, the iconic landmark of Tokyo,modelled on the Eiffel Tower. They lived on the fourth floor, also the top floor, of an apartment building just opposite the church.
Emily and Paul lived in much larger apartment block called Hiro Towers in the expatriate area of Tokyo, with a supermarket selling all types of foreign food, mostly American, and to Emily's chagrin no vegemite. Their one condition for people from Australia wanting to come and stay was that they had to bring a jar of this Aussie yeast extract spread with them. There were also International schools, kindergartens and the Tokyo American Club in the area. The hospital was located here, famously where the Crown Princess had had her baby.
After sitting for a while they were all asked to bring their babies over to sets of scales where they could be weighed. Emily looked questioningly at Anne, who answered saying, “Yes they weigh them before the feed and then again afterwards. This is a very interesting experience, quite unique one might say”,she added. “I wont say any more until we have finished!”
Putting Charlie on the scales made Emily feel very protective of him. Her little man all wrapped up lying in this shiny silver dish while a nurse put metal discs on one end to determine his weight which she then wrote on a card and gave to her. Somehow he seemed very vulnerable and she couldn't wait to have him safely back in her arms.
Returning to her seat next to Anne reassured her. As she started to put Charlie to the breast she was stopped by Anne saying, “You have to wait until the music starts. Then when it stops, we change breasts, keep feeding until it stops, then weigh them again”. “Crikey”, replied Emily, “this seems somewhat regimented”. Anne's only answer was evident as she raised her eyebrows.
It all happened as Anne had described. However, the music was indeed very calming and relaxing . By now Charlie was quite hungry, therefore taking Emily a few minutes to get him to feed properly, but once he had settled down, she leant back, letting the music wash over her. She was nearly dropping off to sleep when suddenly the music stopped, everybody taking their babies from the breast, burping them, before putting them back on the other breast when the music restarted. They were given 10 minutes for each side. When like clockwork the music stopped after 10 minutes, it was time to weigh the babies again. Charlie decided that he didn't like this idea one bit, not wanting to stop feeding at all, screaming at the top of his lungs when he was put down in the scales again.
Anne was waiting for Emily outside the room. Emily felt so embarrassed. Nobody else's baby had seemed to object like Charlie. “Where is your room?” asked Anne. “Number 306”, she replied. “Great, okay if we go to your room now?” Nodding her reply the two ladies returned to Emily's room. Charlie was still crying, but not quite as loudly as walking with him had soothed him somewhat. “I think he still needs more”, Emily said tentatively. “Go ahead”, so Anne sat down in one of the chairs rocking Bridget who was falling asleep. “He's always pretty hungry”, Emily said, looking at Bridget sleeping contentedly. “So normal with boys”, Anne replied, “my second, Vincent was always guzzling. When I had him, I followed the rules here for the first couple of days, then decided to do my own thing.”
“So what are the rules?” asked Emily. “Well you know how they keep the babies overnight from between midnight and 6am. That's a rule that cannot be broken. I don't know if its the same in Australian hospitals, but back home we have the babies in with us all the time. Anyway, that is set in stone. Then they bring them in for the 6am feed which we can do in our rooms, but the 10am, 2pm and 6pm are supposed to happen in the feeding room. With Vincent, that was just a nightmare for the first two days as he was always crying. He couldn't wait four hours and you may find Charlie is the same”, she asserted.
“I think you might be right” Emily agreed, liking the fresh approach of this down to earth American woman. “See how you go today , but if its not working for, you don't go to the feeding room. One of the nurses here speaks very good English and is very understanding of our foreign peculiarities”. Emily thought she might be showing off a bit if she told Anne that she spoke good Japanese. So, she nodded in agreement and told her that this was a good idea . After more chatting Anne left with a promise to call in the next day to see how she was going.
Emily decided she would go down to the room for the 2pm feed if Charlie hadn't woken before then settling herself down for a bit of a nap. However, the best laid plans of mice and men, women and babies sometimes go astray! Charlie woke at 1pm . Seeing there was no way she could placate him for another hour, Emily decided to give the feeding room a miss. That was that, she never went back again!
On returning home, things settled into as much of a routine as was possible with a new baby. On the whole Charlie was pretty placid and didn't keep them up too much at night. Because he was an easy baby a couple of weeks after she had returned home, Emily decided she would take him to the church where Anne's husband was the Priest. Paul wasn't much of a church goer and anyway played golf with colleagues on a Sunday morning. Anne had invited her to the family service which was at 10am with coffee afterwards, so setting off with Charlie in a sling she caught the underground train and rode the two stations to the church.
Walking up from the station to the church, she thought to herself how much she loved being in this vibrant city. It was so different to anything she had ever known. Having studied Japanese at University she had of course learnt about their culture but experiencing it was a completely different matter. She had embraced it all, the food, the language, the pottery, the art, the culture, but most of all the people themselves. Their politeness, organisation, tidiness, and for Emily who loved art and was very creative, their wonderful stationery shops.
As she turned the corner with the church on the left and Tokyo Tower on the right , Charlie sleeping peacefully in the sling she really did feel that all was right with the world.
Two weeks after this outing she had a visit from a Mother care nurse who came to check that everything was ok with Charlie, to weigh him and see if there were any problems. Emily ushered her in, provided her with the obligatory slippers, then took her into the bedroom to see Charlie who was sleeping peacefully in his bassinet. After fulfilling her duties the nurse told her that as he was now a month old she could put him in his bassinet in the bay windowsill to get some sunlight, but not to take him outside until he was three months old. Emily stared at her and then repeated what she had been told in Japanese to her. Realising that Emily's Japanese was very good , the nurse reiterated her instructions. When Emily told her that Charlie had already been to church a couple of times, to the market and out for quite a few walks, the poor woman looked at her in horror, then over to Charlie sleeping peacefully in his basket and made a hurried retreat, leaving a pamphlet in English on how to look after a baby.
A few days later when Anne was over having coffee with her, Emily told her his story and Anne said that the same thing had happened to her, with the same hurried retreat by the nurse.
On Charlie's first birthday Paul and Emily packed up a picnic basket, setting off to Ueno park, one of the most popular parks for the Japanese to visit and sit under the Sakura. They were to meet Anne, her husband and three children.
It was fitting Emily thought to herself as they were sitting on the underground train, that Charlie would celebrate his first year of life under the Sakura, when that that had been one of the first sights in his life.
A toast to the Sakura and a toast to Charlie at the same time. Very fitting.
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A wonderful retelling of your experiences, and I feel like I must be the perfect reader for this. I just stayed in Sydney for 6 months last year, and lived in Tokyo during the 90s. My wife gave birth to our two daughters at the Nisseki/Red Cross hospital very close to Hirou. I still have a clear memory of seeing 20 babies in a little holding room watched over by a nurse, separated from their mothers, and thinking how different this is. And you described that deep belief that babies should not get a second of sunlight or wind in their first t...
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