The Perfect Moment

Waking up unready for today- James and I have plans, a full day of fun, but that's not what I'm worried about. Today is the day, I've decided, I'm going to tell James I'm in love with him. Today we're going to watch The Suicide Squad, then probably get ice cream the way we always do after movies, then to the new arcade by his house. I've been waiting for the perfect place or the perfect time to tell him and I just know I'll find it today. I have to. I threw on the outfit I'd planned last night and dropped downstairs for some breakfast, he wasn't picking me up till 4 so I knew I had some time. After eating some Froot Loops which I, only today, realized wasn't spelled 'fruit', I settled on my couch, I had the house to myself till Saturday. I decided to get in the movie mood by starting with Avatar, not the one with the magical powers, the one with the blue people that's like 9-hours long. This morning I woke up at 11 something and it was now 12:06, I'd have like a half-hour after the movie before he picked me up.

Scratch that, I fell asleep, and now it's 3:47. I threw on my new boots and sat back on my couch. Probably not even a full minute later James texted me he was outside.

"Hay Jay." I greeted lowering myself into the car, he looked so solemn "What's wrong?" I asked worried now.

"I got a spoiler, I don't think you're gonna like the movie."

"James you're so cute, it's gonna be fine. Let's go." Calling him cute wasn't a big deal, we were always very affectionate, only a few small steps from a romantic relationship. He took my hand in his while he drove. Along with the tint it gave my cheeks it gave me more confidence to tell him what I was going to say. I opened my mouth to start but decided this wasn't the right time, I wasn't chickening out, I just wanted it to be perfect. "OOOH, I HEARD THIS SONG ON TIKTOK" I shouted in his poor ears and proceeded to scream the song till we got to the movie theater. He chucked his little chuckle and kept driving. We got there and I just stared at his back while he got us tickets and popcorn, I couldn't help but recognize how much bigger he was than me, but before my mind could go too far into cuddling, I burst out laughing thinking of the time he almost broke my hip in the 6th grade from bodying me off his cousin's trampoline

"the fucks so funny El?" he turned, popcorn in hand.

"No-nothing" I was gaining my composure and blinking away the happy little tears that had formed.

"cmon, I got us nice seats." He placed his hand on the small of my back lead us into the theater.

Sitting in our center seats we shared the popcorn while mostly holding hands or him holding my leg, I thought it would've been a good moment but Nanaue started talking, I wasn't backing out, just wasn't going to interrupt him like that

"THEY KILLED HIM! KILLED HIM DEAD. James why are you not upset?!" I scolded him walking back to the car.

"Ella, that was the spoiler I was talking about, I knew you'd hate it."

"Why did you make me witness such a horrid event then?!" I asked, still near shouting at him

"El, I said we shouldn't watch it," he made it to the car and stopped walking to look down at me "You told me it'd be fine."

I hated it when he was right, I hated it.

"Fine. What's next then, no more heartbreak, I won't be able to take it." He pulled me into one of his 'gentle giant' hugs. "How about some Larry's Ice cream to make you feel better?"

My "Okay" was muffled in his chest before he let me go to get in the driver's seat.

Sitting crisscross in my seat I complained all 6 minutes it took to get to the ice cream parlor.

He got some weird Halloween flavor and I got superman, I think it's just vanilla with food coloring, but it's better than whatever James was poisoning himself with.

"Oh my God. Is it chewy?" I said with complete disgust

"what?' he laughed, his pretty face contorting with confusion.

"I don't know man. It looks chewy" when he laughed I could just barely see how the ice cream was turning his mouth black, but when he calmed down and looked me in the eyes, I couldn't care less what black tar I'd be sharing with him, I wanted to kiss him bad.

"What?" he asked, noticing my starring

"The inside of your mouth looks like a portal to hell!" I laughed instead.

I felt so warm inside, this moment seemed so perfect, but not that kind of perfect. Not tell-him-I'm-in-love-with-him kind of perfect, just one of those moments you could stay in forever, I wasn't going to ruin it with some confession.

"What do you want?!" I said smiling, he was poking me and it was starting to tickle. I could swear his eyes darted to my lips but they were on mine when he responded

"Arcade tiiiime" in a little sing-song voice.

He dragged me to a small bowling section when we first got in, he beat me, I'm not sure how bowling works but something along 6-0 sounds right. "Oh, let's go to the basketball things, see who gets the highest score." he excitedly offered

"See who wins? Jay, you're like Shaq height, of course you're going to win." I spat at him with jealousy, I wasn't by any means short but I wasn't as tall as James.

"First off, I'm barely over Six-foot. Second, you're just salty 'cause you're small." James laughed, purposefully, tauntingly, towering over me. "Fine, let's play. But when I beat your sad little rump, don't come crying to me."

He beat me. By a lot.

We were playing table hockey now, saying I gave up on basketball would be more dignifying than the truth: He got bored of beating me.

Scoring on him for the 41st time I complained "Charlie Puth and Alec Benjamin are a little too active on TikTok" He laughed frustratedly, pulling the little puck out of his goal.

"So are you, El."

After a hardcore fruit ninja competition and playing jumbo connect four we sat down to eat. Sitting on the same side of the booth sharing a pizza we were talking about his sister's dog.

"I swear, he's so sassy." He said calling back to the story he was telling me.

"Total is such a trip, how does she even take care of his crazy little self?"

"I know, right? They're like best friends though, he loves her," looking in my eyes to finish his sentence "You know?"

Gulping hard I just nodded, he smiled and finished his pizza. That was definitely the right moment but he got up and wiped his hands on his jeans.

"Come on, they've got laser tag." beckoning me, he threw away our trash and walked out of the little cafe.

"Oh I'm going to make you cry." wearing my evil smile I taunted.

"I wish I doubted that."

Safe to say I could've made him cry, had he been a sore loser, 56-28 I nailed him with hits.

"Alright, card's empty." he said after swiping the dance dance machine 'Thank God' I thought to myself.

We walked to the counter and got too much candy, invisible ink, a stuffed Minecraft cow, and an entire beanbag chair.

I carried the invisible ink while he carried the rest of it. Like sorry bud, but I can't pour this stuff on my shirt with my hands full.

After loading it all into his car we went to Wendy's, we actually went in to eat. He eats like a boar, I would've told him now if he weren't so damn nasty to look at. The Wendy's was empty and so was the parking lot, grabbing our cokes we went and sat in his car.

"Hay Jay," I prompted "why don't we walk around or something"

"What?" he had an adorably baffled little face on.

"Yeah, let's take a walk." of course I didn't wait for his answer before getting out of the car.

We ended up by a pretty lake, sitting on the stones.

"Ah shit, it's raining" he sulked, looking out on the water we could see the tiny little raindrops that we couldn't feel yet.

"I'm not wearing white so let's just hang out, I know you love the rain." I tempted to him

"Alright alright." he got up and grabbed my hand as it started to really rain.

"I thought you agreed?" I pouted

"I did, lets dance"

Yup, here we were. Waltzing in the rain, drenched to the bone, and laughing our asses off. A moment has never been more perfect.

He spun us around and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"God this is Amazing." he smiled down at me, water droplets weighing down his eyelashes.

"It feels like we're in a movie." I agreed.

He slinked his hands from my waist to around my back into more of a hug. He nestles his face in the crook of my neck and just swayed us. My cheeks hurt from smiling and my heart ached with content.

I decided confessing all of what I feel to him, its depth and complexity, would sound mangled and wrong coming from my untuned mouth. Instead, I'd show him what I felt, I knew there was no measure of messing this up that would carry the wrong message.

Pulling him far enough away from me that I could see his face, He wore a big goofy grin. Staring into his eyes I wasn't finding that hidden want that they talk about in books, just happiness, which I guess is just as good.

Cupping his face and tilting it to the side I leaned in and kissed him.

He froze up, everybody does that, then they melt into the kiss, just like shows and novels. Except he didn't melt into my kiss, he pulled away, unwrapping himself from me.

He didn't give her an 'I love you' speech or an 'I never thought you'd felt the same way' instead he ripped out her heart and stomped on it. In the most gentle way possible because that's who he is, that's why she fell in love with him.

"Ella I'm so sorry" he started "Ella I love you, I do" her heart leaped

"But it's not in that way, it never has been." Her eyes went cold

"I'm sorry if all the hugs and hand-holding sent the wrong message. God, I should've never danced with you like this." He scolded himself. She just stood stoic, still. "Ella I am so sorry. I- I have to go. I'm sorry" He turned his back on her and walked out of her sight, walked completely out of her life. Ella felt so much pain she almost felt numb, she couldn't cry, she couldn't scream out. Hell, she couldn't even feel her fingernails pressing into her palms.

So there she stood. Alone in the rain, in the perfect moment, without her perfect guy.