Time To Love Again

Cara pulls her hood up over her head just as the rain drops begin to fall. The sky is shedding the tears she has felt tickling her eyes all day. She’s so tired of grief and just wants to be cozy in her house, snuggled under the blanket her mom knitted her years ago, before the illness. She just needs to escape reality with funny movies and pizza. Picking up the pace, she finds herself running down the street. Her house is right around the corner and all she has to do is make it to her porch before the sky completely opens up. Unfortunately, Cara is the most uncoordinated person she has ever met. Just as the house comes into view, her feet seem to forget how to work and she somehow trips over herself and lands straight in a puddle. Great. If she wasn’t freezing before, being soaking wet will assure she is now.

Thankfully, as she pulls herself back onto her feet, Cara doesn’t see anyone on the street or peaking through their curtains. Her embarrassment begins to wane as she absentmindley tries to wipe the rain from her absoluetly drenched jeans. Can this day get any worse? Just as she is getting herself together and about to restart her short trek, Cara realizes she does see eyes, trembling eyes peering out through the leaves of a nearby bush. The surprise makes her actually jump, causing the puddle to splash around her ankles. The cold water begins to chill her feet but Cara hardly notices. Instead she is mermerized by the big, sad eyes that seem to be crying out for help while looking for a place to escape at the same time. Something inside her won’t let her look away. Her head is telling her to run home now but her heart can’t leave those sad eyes alone, eyes she feels reflect her soul.

Approaching slowly, both out of concern for the poor creature and in fear for her own safety, Cara creeps to the bush and tries to see inside. The leaves are too thick but she is afraid to risk her hand, since she still doesn’t know what kind of teeth lay in this creature’s mouth. There is a stick lying nearby so Cara quickly grabs it and uses it to part the leaves. The poor creature begins to thrash with fear, somehow restrained from escape, making it hard for Cara to identify it. In the blur of fur, tongue, and eyes, Cara notices a bright red leash and collar. It’s a dog! A sweet, medium sized dog who’s leash seems to be so tangled in the branches, it can do little more than thrash. By now the rain is coming down in sheets but Cara is only focused on helping the puppy with the sweet eyes and soaking wet fur. It is in this moment that Cara is very grateful to herself for keeping snacks with her at all times, something she learned from her mother. She quickly rummages in her purse to find the granola bar she has yet to tear into, and her utility knife. A plan has formed and Cara finds herself full of a determination she thought had diassapeared months ago.

Letting the feeling in her gut fuel her, Cara takes a deep breathe and prepares to make her move. To get as close as she can, Cara sinks down onto her knees, barely registering the cold dampness, and breaks off a piece of granola. First things first, she needs to calm this poor cutie down and gain their trust. Food always works to gain Cara’s trust so she hopes the same is true for this liitle one. As soon as Cara holds the food out, her hand trembling a bit, the dog calms slightly as their little black nose begins to sniff the air. Finally Cara feels a wet tongue licking at her fingers as the pup test tastes the treat. Seconds later her hand is empty and then full again with a curious snout hoping for more treats. Cara breaks off a few more pieces and feeds the pup with one hand while funlbing the utility knife in her other. While distracted by food, the pup seems to have forgotten their fears and it’s finally calm enough for Cara to cut the pup free of their leash. However, the granola bar must be extra delicious because the little pup has hardly noticed their sudden freedom.

Now that the excitement is beginning to fade, Cara’s body starts to tremble from the cold she can suddenly feel again. Without really thinking, she scoops up the wet ball of fur as it finishes off the last few cumbs in her hand, and quickly heads to her house. As she half runs half walks, she snuggles the wet fur baby into her coat, since it’s tembles have also returned. Once safely in her hallway, Cara begins to comprehend that she is holding a wiggly bundle just as the pup springs from her arms and runs into the corner of her vestibule, doing it’s best to hide in her shoe pile.

Standing there, dripping wet, watching the wet puppy wiggle helplessly as there are no more shoes to hide behind, Cara is suddenly struck with laughter. Just minutes before she was ready to cry and now she’s cackling uncontrollably in her hallway. Her mom’s hallway. Wait no, it is Cara’s hallway now, no matter how hard that may be to accept. As her laughter fills the space, and the puppy stops wiggling to watch Cara spiral into madness, she feels her mom’s presence for the first time in months. She hadn’t been able to feel her since that horrible day when they barely had time to say goodbye before she was gone. No matter how long her mom had been sick, nothing could have prepared Cara for the heartbreak. She had been numb since that day. Somehow, though, this sudden moment in the rain with a furball of destiny has pulled her back.

With the lasts rings of laughter fading away, Cara focuses on her new friend who is now busy pawing at her favorite slippers. She walks over and scoops the furball up with no protest. The little guy actually seems to curl up in her arms. Cara fumbles with the collar and gasps when she reads the pup’s name, “Lisa.” How in the world? Somehow she had stumbled upon a pup in need with her mom’s name?! In her head she could almost see her mom smiling. It felt like an inside joke. Shaking off the feeling of goosebumps rising on her arms, Cara reaches for her phone in her pocket and begins to dial the number below her mom’s name.

A voice greets her after just a few rings, “Hello?” It sounds like a young girl.

Cara doesn’t know what to say at first so the words just kind of tumble out, “Do you have a dog?”

“What?” comes the confused reply.

“Sorry. I found a dog with the name tag Lisa and your phone number. Are you missing a dog named Lisa?” Cara has finally found the right words.

“Mom!!!!” The voice on the other line sounds like it might cry and laugh at the same time, “This lady says she found Lisa!!!”

A few minutes later, after confirming they are indeed Lisa’s owners, Cara passes along her address and hangs up. Sticking her phone back in her pocket, she looks down at the soaked dog in her arms. Lisa has curled up and is almost asleep. Cara can’t help but smile. This little bundle has had a long 2 days, according to her family. She got loose on a walk and they have been searching since. Cara decides to take her inside, dry her off, get her some water and let her relax until the family gets there.

Having changed into dry clothes herself, Cara sits on her couch and curls her mother’s blanket around her. As she watches Lisa sleeping on her rug, after a long drink and some fluffy towel snuggles, Cara is struck by gratitude. It has been really hard to find things to be grateful for since she lost her mom. Losing her best friend and biggest cheerleader, the person she could talk to about anything, hurt more than she had ever imagined. So, trying to be thankful felt impossible. Right now, though, she couldn’t be happier to have falllen in the rain just to find Lisa. Although it may be the other way around: Lisa seems to have found Cara and is helping Cara find herself.

Later that evening, Cara is once again alone in her house. Lisa and her family had an enthusiastic reunion and they thanked Cara profusely until they were out of earshot. They even brought her a gift of pasteries from their family bakery and invited her to dinner next week, as a thank you. It kind of feels like she made new friends for life. Lisa is quite the matchmaker.

Even though the house is very quiet after a day full of laughter and joy, Cara feels contentment fill her. After months of existing in numbness, one little ball of fur has brought color back into her life. For a whole day, she has felt her mom’s joy surround her and push her to live. A warm feeling floods her entire body, from her head to her toes. That is what she is going to do: live. Live for her mom, Live for herself. Live for Lisa. No matter what, time is going to keep ticking, and Cara is sure she will take advantage of it while she can.

With a smile in her eye, Cara picks up her phone and opens her photo app. While she had waited for Lisa’s family earlier, she snapped one photo of Lisa’s adorable face, and she pulls that photo up now. It is amazing how 30 pounds of flesh could open her eyes so quickly. Hm, maybe she need a fluffy friend of her own? Well, tomorrow seems like a great day to visit the SPCA and rescue someone just the same way Lisa rescued Cara. It’s time to love someone again.