Earl

March 12th, 2076

I knew the day would come when I would have to confess this to someone. Yes, I'm confessing it to a leather bound journal I keep in my nightstand but it still counts right. I did confess it to the good Lord Almighty a time or two as well.

I'm rambling. I tend to do that now that I am a bit older. Oh, who am I kidding I do it constantly. Always have, always will. Well, I better just spill it. It's not like anyone will read this anyway. He has been gone too long for anyone to care. I married that son of a bitch back in 2014 on account of the fact that he knocked me up. There I said it. I married him in a shotgun wedding as my cousin Jesse used to put it. Did I love him? Well, I loved the idea of him but not really him. Earl was a mean man when he drank. Hell, he was a mean man just period. Alcohol just made him show it to everyone who was near not just me. He was the only feller who had shown any interest in me for a long time. It wasn't that I wasn't pretty it was that I knew too many of the idiots around here and I didn't like many of them or they knew what a temper I had myself and that I wouldn't put up with their bullshit. Well, I guess I just kind of gave up on finding my Sebastian Stan looking dreamboat and settled for a mildly handsome and financially stable Earl. He was soft on the eyes after all and my damn best friend Mary Anne had left me. I couldn't blame her. If I had, had the chance and the money I would've gone too. I'm just lucky she came back to get me once I told her the truth.

March 21st, 2076

Sorry I meant to finish this before but I didn't want to write this while anyone was watching me and the damned nurse had come in.

Earl had started beating me around our 4th year of marriage. I tried to hide it from our little girl Bella. I named her after the Twilight girl because I always like the story and she had the most beautiful brown eyes and hair just like her. Bella was usually asleep when the beating happened but she would see me the next morning. I think it was her that made me finally want to tell Mary Anne was was happening but I'm getting ahead of myself. That first night it was because I yelled at Earl about the damn trash he refused to help with. Selfish piece of shit that he was. He slapped me so hard and said "if you can't do it , what are you good for than?" Eventually, he began doing this on the regular when he realized I wasn't leaving and I wasn't telling anyone. Why didn't I leave? Because where would I have gone? He had the money, my parents were dead and I didn't think anyone would help me. I hid a lot of who I was and what was happening but when Mary Anne would call she could hear it in my voice. One night when Mary Anne was visiting she heard us and stopped him from hitting me by wacking him in the head with a book. It was so funny the way his eyes rolled into the back of his head. That's when we sat down and came up with a plan. No one cared about him. No one in town really liked him. So what the hell was I waiting for. I started poisoning him .

May 15th, 2076

Dang it! I did it again. Left you on cliff hanger. My bad. I had a small fall they took me to the hospital for a time. Thankfully, I had this book hidden under my bible in my nightstand and no one bothered it.

Like I said I started slowly poisoning him and he got real sick. It took about a week and then he finally kicked the bucket. That week was hell in other ways of course. He couldn't hit me because Mary Anne was there but he'd still cuss me out and call me names the minute he thought he could. Poor Bella, I truly hope you know how much momma was trying to get us free from him sweet girl.

Anyway, when he finally died. We took him out to the hogs in the holler at my cousin Jesse's. He was out of town with his children so we had the place to ourselves and he wouldn't mind a bit. He probably figured we were just feeding the hogs. Which we were. We fed them Earl.

June 5th, 2076

Doctors say I don't have much time left. So I just wanted to write all this down because well I suppose Bella ought to know what happened to her biological father. Mary Anne stayed with us for a time after he was gone and helped me get my education and become a writer. We took Bella all over the world as I was a travel writer. We got to see so many amazing things and Mary Anne would take pictures for the articles. It was the best life. Then I met Max when Bella was about 8. Earl had been gone for 2 years and I had pretty much sworn off men but Max was different and he treated me like a queen. He supported my travels and Bella's education. He was so good with her. We were married when Bella was 10 and he adopted her as his own. Mary Anne of course gave her blessing and settle with the very beautiful Lyra. Whom she met in France. They still travelled and I would join them for writing but once the boys were born I decided to write for the local paper and enjoy my life in Oklahoma again. It was so much better this time around. Everyone in town quickly forgot about Earl. Especially, after I had left for a time and Max was a great addition to town. He was even a part of the town council.

June 10th, 2076

When Max got sick 2 years ago and died my heart broke. I miss him every day. He never knew my secret. He thought Earl had just left. Thankfully, the court didn't look hard when we sent the adoption notice for Bella. She's grown and married with her grandkids now. I guess this is a good a time as any to tell her. Since I don't have much time left myself. Mary Anne is long gone too. Her and Lyra had many fantastic years together traveling and just being madly in love. I like to think they died on some grand adventure. Bella never did tell me what really happened. Mary Anne did tell Lyra but Lyra loved the story and kept it between us three.

I feel so tired these days like I don't have much left. I guess it'll be time to see if the good lord can forgive me. I'm sorry everyone but just know that Earl had to die.