The Double-Edged Sword

Kahlani sat by the window, watching the rain smear against the glass. The rhythmic patter felt comforting—a reminder that even destruction brought growth. That was why she had named her daughter Rayne. Everything needed rain to grow. And without Rayne, who would she have been?

She traced the condensation forming on the windowpane. The cold felt sharp against her fingertips, grounding her. It had been years, but the weight of regret still sat heavily on her chest, lodged there like a stone she couldn’t remove.

She had never exposed Julius for who he truly was. She had never told Rayne about the man behind the carefully curated façade—the charming man who had once whispered empty promises into Kahlani’s ear, who had sworn he loved her at eighteen, only to leave bruises hidden beneath long sleeves.

Instead, she had let Rayne believe a fantasy. “You’re always telling me what to do at Grandma's house,” Rayne had spat at her, Rayne's tone carrying venom only a child in pain could muster. “You make everything so hard!” “I’m trying to teach you, it's my job baby girl. You don't shower, brush your hair there, you are on your tablet for way too long...” Rayne interrupts “Teach me? How can you teach me? My dad runs his own company and Grandma is a lawyer ! You can't keep a job and we live in this small house. At least they buy me things! I don't have to earn it. At least he lets me have fun! You just ruin everything.” "Rayne, I can't keep a job because you keep getting kicked out of after school programs. You told me yourself you are doing it on purpose. Remember I got fired because I had to keep leaving work to pick you up..." "So it's my fault" "No but that's life baby. You are my responsibility and I can't keep a job because you come first." Kahlani says trying to not cause any possible insecurities within Rayne.

That night, Kahlani had let her tears fall silently. It was easier that way—easier to let Rayne see her as the villain than to force her to face a truth too cruel for a child. Truth about her upbringing, about her family dynamics, about her dad's family hierarchy. It would all sound like she was victimizing herself.

Julius had been her first love, but love had been a miscalculation on her part. When they met, she had been just eighteen, just got out of the Foster care system, still naive, still believing that love could overpower warning signs. Julius had been twenty-four, older, wiser—or at least, that was what she had thought. He had been gentle at first, love-bombing her with affection, drowning her in compliments, making her feel like she was the only woman in the world. Proposing to her within three months of them knowing one another. Thank goodness she didn't marry him because swiftly, cracks formed. She met him at eighteen and got pregnant within that same year. Julius no longer has to wear his mask. He got Kahlani right where he wanted her.

The possessiveness started quietly—the little comments about who she could talk to, what she could wear, how she looked, coming home late and by the time she realized she was trapped with a stranger, it felt too late.

Rayne was born, and Julius gotten worse. His anger became unpredictable. He would call Rayne names if she cried because she was hungry. It felt like walking on egg shells everyday. He would use intimidation tactics to try and weaken Kahlani's mental state. He blamed her for everything—their failing relationship, his financial stress, his frustrations. He never took accountability.

Kahlani knew she should have left sooner. But when you’re eighteen and in love, the idea of walking away feels impossible. Until, Julius had hurt Rayne in a fit of anger. Rayne gave her courage. Kahlani didn't waste any time. She had finally left him for good.

But Julius had found a new weapon—his family, other women and Rayne herself. He told other women lies so that they were already treating her badly so he could pretend that he wasn't the cause. Telling women he was a single stay at home father because the mother of his child took off. When he only really saw Rayne on random weekends. And even then, barely. Brenda—a woman who saw no faults in her son, who enabled his every mistake, who let him coast through life without consequences. Helping him make women feel like it was all their fault for whatever he done to them. Julius would tell women Kahlani was ghetto trash who lived in the projects that never wants to work. While pretending to be the changed man around Kahlani so that she would be blinded sided by the dirty looks she would receive around anyone who listened to his deceit. But Kahlani still wanted to put her best effort to co parent with Julius so Rayne can see what healthy looks like. Her anxiety through the roof whenever Brenda and Julius would invite her to their family functions. Kahlani caught Julius in lie after lie. Women reaching out once he also treated them poorly. Only then Kahlani realized it wasn't in her imagination. Julius a manipulative bastard. But Rayne worshiped him. To her, Julius was the fun one. Kahlani was the mother who set rules, who enforced bedtime, who kept her daughter’s well-being in mind. Julius, on the other hand, let everything slide. When Rayne was with him, she got McDonald’s, toys, screen time without limitations, no internet supervision and no rules. When she was with Kahlani, she got boundaries, discipline, structure. And in Rayne's young mind, that meant her mother was cruel—that her father was kind, warm, the parent who loved her more.

Once Rayne turned eight, that's when Kahlani noticed something shifting in her personality. The tantrums, the defiance, the small moments where Rayne’s rebellion seemed more than purposeful—calculated, almost. Rayne started making comments to hurt her, make her late for every appointment with a smirk. She also started sabotaging fun getaways that were aligned to keep her happy; places like legoland. Then, there was the cruelty. She gripped the family yorkshire just a little too hard, watching its reaction with detached amusement. Rayne didn't seem to have empathy. Kahlani was upset to find videos on Rayne's phone harming the dog while laughing. At first, Kahlani thought maybe Rayne was struggling with something deeper—maybe it's autism, and she doesn't realize it hurts. Maybe she has an emotional delay.

Kahlani took her to multiple doctors, psychiatrists, advocacy centers, anywhere that might have answers for the next three years. But when Rayne turned ten, a psychiatrist finally pulled Kahlani aside and lowered his voice in a very concerned yet caring manner “She’s too young for a formal diagnosis,” he said carefully. “But if you don’t act fast, she might really hurt someone— the dog, and even YOU.” And just like that, a wave of nausea overtook Kalani.

Psychopath.

He hadn’t said the word outright, but the implication lingered as they stared at Rayne through the glass of the waiting room. Her daughter was showing signs of psychopathy: Lack of empathy, callous or uncaring behavior, frequently lying and manipulating, complete disregard for rules and consequences, impulsive behaviors, risky taking even if it harmed them, surface charm, lack of remorse, deficits in social skills, and exploitations of others.

That's when it all started making sense. Kahlani started connecting the dots. Julius. Something was always off about him but Rayne... How could Rayne mirror his mentality. She hardly spent any real time with him.

Kahlani still felt as though she should share the news with Julius because he is her dad. But without letting him know she was on to his schemes and or that she believed he could be a psychopath himself. Julius refused to believe it. Brenda called it “dramatic.” They insisted that Kahlani let them fix it. They parading around like they were all in support of the decision. But Kahlani was unsure.

One day Rayne was having her usual behavior. She was trying to miss her school bus, fighting to get dressed for school, everything she could fight about to have Kahlani throw in the towel. Kahlani was use to it but Kahlani was more drained than usual after receiving the news she did because now she had to work over-time to watch Rayne's every move. Rayne noticed her mother's weakness that morning. It seemed as though she wanted to gain some control. Rayne looked her mother dead in the eye and said something that chilled Kahlani to the bone: “If you don’t let me live with dad and Grandma... I'm warning you.” A warning. From her own daughter. Without any hesitation, Kahlani thought of the psychiatrist that told her to be careful. That was the first and only answer she has ever received in regards to Rayne.

That night, Kahlani stared at the ceiling, weighing everything. Let Rayne stay? Risk the truth unraveling into something irreparable? Or let her go—let her believe a lie, let her live happily in illusion? She let Rayne go.

Julius, his mother, and even Rayne herself rewrote history. They told everyone that Kahlani had abandoned her daughter when Rayne denied to see her. They said Kahlani never calls her when Rayne blocked her number. They told everyone they knew that Kahlani never wanted her, never did anything for her despite Kahlani's documentation of everything she has ever done for her. The worst part is that Rayne helped with those lies.

Kahlani said nothing and or exposed her facts. She let Rayne be happy with her father—even if it made Kahlani the villain. Because in the end, she had to choose: her vindication or her daughter's happiness.

The truth could set her free, expose Julius for what he had always been, strip away the illusion he had carefully crafted. But at what cost? If she shattered the lie, Rayne would only resent her more. So Kahlani bore the weight of the villain. Let them call her unfit. Let them rewrite history. If it meant Rayne could hold on to the version of her father she needed him to be, then so be it. Because sometimes, love meant being the monster in someone else’s story.