sodden in the moonsoon....

I watched him walking away with his phone to his ear and never looking back. I just stood there “GOD! i am a fool” I thought to myself and took a deep breath. I felt cold and then found out that rain has started it is monsoon anyways, I look around the main street. Everyone running for shelter, trying not to get soaked and I was standing in the there mostly because today I wanted to feel something and I am just so tired and fed up from everything. I wish my heart would understand that but it won’t. A girl about my age yanked me out of her path “ahhhhh” I felt a shock I was not paying attention at all i was in my thoughts. “Hey don’t stand like Morons ” she shouted and ran on the other side of the street

towards the cafe. Where a boy was waiting for her he hugged her and they both went inside.I sigh and backed the wall feeling Miserable and hopeless. I felt so cold “how could he I mean look at him he don’t care about....he’s just gonna be Eric who don’t care and nothing else” I screamed in my head and fell to the ground not caring that it’s wet. I bore my head into my hands and cried letting it all out And than I felt so sleepy. “At the end Eric always do come to rescue you doesn’t he?” I asked myself.

“Mostly he do not all of the time” I answered to

“he let you drown

He let you down When will I rise,

I don’t know

He might be yours But you don’t know For sure

My heart.

When will I swim out Of this mess

When will I rise and Fly away

Soaring through the Night sky”

I singed my poem Which I posted last night on Instagram slowly in my dream maybe. I don’t know anymore my poems and poetry all these words they feel so real....I mean..... “Hey! WHAT YOU THINK YOUR DOING?” I heard someone shouting at me. I opened my eyes and saw the same girl from earlier. It was still raining. “Are you okay?” Her tone softened and there was a concerned look on her face.

“GOD YOUR SOAKING WET” I rubbed my eyes and jerked myself to reality “OH? yup I am fine thanks” I try to get up but was too soaked. “Here!” She handed me a coffee I smiled “Thanks again” I said and she sat beside me. “Wait! OMG your clothes” I look at her. She smiled “it’s okay in the end we do go in the dirt don’t we?” I nodded. Liked her way of talking “sorry I was rude earlier” she apologized. “Hmhm” I nodded a no and smiled. “So what you do?” She asked.

“Hm...I am a teen just like you...I am gonna be a medical student and I ran a page on Instagram @the._.poetess” I informed. “Oh I see you do poetry.....you have pretty awesome goals I wish you luck” she beamed. “Thanks I am gonna need it” I mumbled the last part a little. “Don’t let the world get you down..” she advised. “ya your right” I looked at her. I was scared I didn’t wanted to answer any questions about anything. So, I rose to my feet at this point the rain has died down a little too. I lend her a hand

she smiled and took it.

“Oh almost forgot I am Ema” I introduced. “I am Ana” she told me. “Cool name” I commented. “Thanks.....I guess” she giggled. “Let’s exchange numbers” she suggested, “great idea!” I lend out my phone to show her my number and my phone buzzed. I declined the call and exchanged numbers anyways. “See you around” she said. “Ya” I forced a smile “Okay bye see you soon” I waved and walked in opposite direction from her. I was hurrying up a bit. Hope she didn’t noticed anything and that sure was a lot of smiling. I looked down at my phone got a miss call from Eric. Oh look who just called me....but I can’t deny it no matter how hard..I try I can’t ignore him.

So, I called him back “oh hey! Sorry Eric was caught up in something” I informed. “Oh no it’s fine I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry and how about we meet up same cafe on Thursday?” he asked. That’s three says from now “okay....I will be there” i beamed. “And wear something red you’ll look cute”

she told me and my heart skip a beat. “Oh....” I snapped “I will.....see” I tried to pull the words out of my mouth. “Hm good okay than bye” I said the same and hung up. I sighed that officially kind of went great but I can’t deny. it’s simple everyone gets happy when they are complimented.....especially by someone special. So, I took the road home still soaking wet.

I got out of my clothes threw them for laundry and went in my room, good things mom and dad are out shopping grocery and my sisters are busy. I would have died if they saw me. I took some snacks and did my homework. Than mom came back and we eat dinner and then I just took my

mobile and stared at that girl Ana number maybe I should give her a text?

The alarm went off “RINGG!!!!!” I got up rubbing my eyes. I Looked over at my phone just beside my pillow I did text ANA last night. We talked for a bit and I was so tired and overwhelmed by yesterday little date. That’s why I couldn’t keep up with her slept. Now to get ready for school . High school is hard and god Mrs. Hana class for history Is death. I did breakfast and went to school.......

Three days later,

I took a last look in the mirror and smiled at myself. The red dress with floral design fall just below my knees with my brown high-heel boots. The makeup was pretty simple red lipstick, with dark liner and touch of blush. I send a blowing kiss and Took a black umbrella. I am pretty a lot of boys proposed me but I am crazy dying for a playboy but that’s love. I got into a cab and went to the cafe. I just hope I am looking good enough I wish something will be different today. I took a deep breath got out of the cab and on the side walk. I took out the money “that would be on me...” a similar voice said. I turned around to see that one person. Who breaks me, takes me and plays me but I just can’t seem to let him go. His dark

brown messy hair with bangs and his chin line his chubby tight lips and his eyes in which one could get lost. They are mysterious yet passionate a person can look for years but won’t find a clue in those brown eyes. “Oh no no it’s okay” he gave the money and goodbye the cab. “Bye see you thanks” he waved. I rolled my eyes.

“What?” He said innocently. “Nothing” I said and started walking into the cafe.

He held my arm and pushed me back to him and went almost bumming into him. He observed me “You look great today!” He exclaimed which a cute smile. Arghh don’t give me those I will latterly melt. “Thanks..” i tugged my hair back behind my ear. “Let’s go inside” I suggested and went inside. We drank coffee and eat muffins and talked and talked. Actually,something was different thought the whole time he listened to me with like his all attention and didn’t took his eyes off me. That was a little embarrassing but still I kind of loved it. I felt amazing I felt wanted but I also felt scared that this isn’t gonna stay very long but I pushed the thought aside. After eating I had so many ideas of what we can do after this. So, I talked and he listened and laughed and giggled and complimented. I love his laughter it’s so venerable I never fell this hard for someone.

“and....and we can get some coco bread from there...” I suggested swimming In my Dreams. While, getting out of the cafe it looked cloudy. Maybe gonna rain again “ahah I seee” he said bluntly. “Hey everything okay?” I asked. “Ya it’s fine” he said distractedly while his head in his phone. His phone buzzed and he placed it to his ear. “Oh I see” he said while closing up on me and giving me a quick hug than moved and started walking in the opposite direction. He waved goodbye and left me again on my own alone. The thunder roared and it started raining again and just like before I stood there hopeless and broken. Getting soaked and sodden in the same red dress he suggested my hair fell out of the bun and to my sides and that’s it just like before. I just had this question In my mind again.

“Is anything ever gonna change?”