Danny vs Irony

 Danny vs Irony

By: Corey A. Rose

Danny Fieldman stood in his home looking out the window. The world seemed to have changed dramatically in just a few years. Trump was president, and now a democratic had taken over. Churches were empty, and everyone and their brother had their noses buried in a cell phone. No one wanted to work. Masks that “saved lives” or to the other side “Took away our civil liberties” littered parking lots, rivers, and overflowing trashcans. One side wore the mask as a badge of honor as if they themselves were saving lives from a “horrible” virus, while others wore them grudgingly and even those who would fight tooth and nail not to wear one. Danny still had not decided exactly what he was yet.

He sighed moving away from his window to his bedroom. Glancing at the clock on his bedside table, Danny realized it was 10am. He sighed. He found himself sighing a lot lately. Since the virus had taken over, Danny found himself isolated to say the least. Well everyone probably felt that way now. As a computer tech, freelance at that, most of his work was done by phone and e-mails. Having no family to call on, or friends, unless you counted Mike. Danny looked foreword to the monthly video call he had with a co-worker named Mike. Mike was also single, and much like Danny did not have many friends or family. Danny liked Mike, most of the time. When they chatted it was about music, or computer games. Sometimes they would joke about the end of the world. Mike had not answered his call last month...or this month. In fact he hadn’t even had an e-mail back from Mike.

Danny shook the thought away. Mike may have just gotten busy, after all he wasn’t stuck at home like Danny. Danny wasn’t “Essential” like Mike the programmer. Mike was still at the office, around people, talking with people…

Danny sighed standing in front of his mirror. His unkempt appearance did not alarm him. Short graying hair against a round face. Black rimmed glasses, bags under fading blue/green eyes. His once fit frame now ever growing from lack of exorcise. Danny yawned revealing plaque filled teeth. He’d forgotten to brush his teeth. Taking the toothbrush in his hand, he applied the toothpaste and went to work brushing the plaque away. A thought once again entered his mind. He pushed at it as it slowly drilled into his head, a silent prayer.

Dear God, are you there? Why? Why is life this way? Would it matter if I was hear?

Something Danny realized he asked himself daily. Hourly Now. In fact the idea consumed him. He sighed repeating the words over and over. Danny opened his eyes not realizing they had been closed in the first place. Danny looked back over at the clock visible in the bathroom mirror. He had been brushing for 10 minutes. Danny sighed again.

“What's it matter?!” Danny wondered aloud. “God?” he asked looking up at his ceiling. He waited and upon hearing nothing he sat on his solid white toilet. And buried his head in his hands. Danny sobbed silently. He was alone and he could feel it. The feeling had only gotten worse since Mike had stopped talking to him. And lately, business had been slow. Not much work when most things could be looked up on social media like YouTube. Danny stood making a decision as he walked to his bedroom. He was done. It had been on his mind for a long time now. He didn’t want to be here anymore. By here he meant the planet. To be completely honest, he’d felt that way his entire life.

Now was the time. He sat on his bed. He bowed his head closing his eyes once more:

Dear God, if I am supposed to be alive, tell me now. Tell me what there is to live for. Just give me one reason.

He sighed opening his eye. He stayed silent arms wrapping around himself listening for a voice, something glowing, anything to show him he was meant to be alive. He felt nothing. He did not feel the warm embrace that prayer normally provides. Nothing shimmered or shined, or glowed or spoke to him like the proverbial burning bush did to Moses. Danny felt the lonely feeling creeping deeper into his soul. Color for sometime now had been darker, not as bright as they should be. Grays were black, and black was just as dark as space itself. Danny sighed coming to the conclusion God did not care. Or if he did, this was just part of his plan.

Danny was a movie buff. He had a habit of looking up things about movies that he liked. Behind the scenes goofs, spoilers, trivia that most people would not care to know. His favorite movie had always been “The Shawshank Redemption”. One of the saddest scenes had been when the character Brooks took his own life, carving a message into the wood, and hanging himself to death. Thats how he would go. Danny would do the deed in his closet.

Danny went to work writing a letter with a short explanation of why he did it, and outlining what belongings should go to Mike. Finishing the note he taped it to his computer. Finding a length of chord used for computers, he wrapped and tied it to the metal pole used to hang clothes on. He waited a time before wrapping the chord around his neck. He prayed feeling the tension around his neck tighten. He asked God to speak to him one last time. Then he let his body fall foreword all his weight hitting the knot at the base of his neck. His eyes began to bulge as his face turned bright red, then a tint of blue. His vision went black.

It was sometime later when he woke up. He had been laying on his stomach, a pain throbbing from his head down to his back. He tried to move before realizing that the metal pole and all his clothes lie on top of him.

Danny sighed. He got angry unwrapping the chord from around his neck. His hands moved over the deep lines the chord left on his neck. Then clarity entered his oxygen starved brain. God wanted him to live. He repeated the phrase to himself over and over again delighted. It was a hard lesson, a painful lesson but here he was alive.

He pushed the rod off him and stood. He smiled taking a deep breath of air. The air was sweet it even smelled sweet. He walked to the kitchen realizing the colors were popping. Blues were bright, just as bright as the yellows. Danny opened the refrigerator pulling out some bologna and cheese. Finding two pieces of bread he made a sandwich. He placed it on the brightest green plate he could find. He sat at the marble table realizing just how intricate the design truly was. He bowed his head giving thanks for his new outlook on life. Then he bit into the sandwich. He chewed the proper amount before swallowing. Then he choked.

What Danny had not realized was that the chord had compressed his throat just enough that it was somewhat collapsed. The bits of bologna, cheese and bread now blocked his airway. He held his throat falling to the floor. The bright colors faded as his vision started to tunnel. Blackness took hold as he tried to make sense of what was happening. Danny heard his phone ring then. Mikes ringtone. The last thing Danny heard was Mikes ringtone blasting the Bee-Gees hit “Staying alive”.