Only In My Dreams

Only In My Dreams

         "I have been up for three days now; I am exhausted. I spent endless nights drinking black coffee, manically flipping cable channels like I was off my meds, all in an effort to stay awake. I had to stay awake, I couldn’t fall asleep or I would die!"

         My dilemma began one summer evening about 7:00 p.m. After watching a horror movie on an odd cable channel, my life was changed forever. The seven hours of sleep I managed to get every night, has all but vanished from my life. I remember being exhausted that night, and wanted to get home just to eat, relax and watch a lifetime movie.

         When I pushed the remote button to channel 45, a channel 99 popped on the screen instead. I found it strange that there was a movie on this channel, because this channel didn’t show movies. But this particular night, there was a horror movie on. At the time I didn’t think much of the odd channel. I was so stressed out from work, I just needed to relax, and horror movies relaxed me. I found the characters in horror stories to be naïve, and the scenes unrealistic.

          Basically, all the movies have similar storylines. Usually, a young woman is alone someplace, either on a dark road or in a big empty house. There is usually a male stalker determined to end her life. After he terrorizes his victim, deadly music is played and the audience knows he’s about to kill her. The menacingly stranger looks into the victim’s eyes before he strangles her or slashes her throat. I find these movies silly, but it releases stress.

The movie was about to begin, but I was starving. I bolted towards the kitchen and popped a plate filled with bake chicken, roasted string beans and brown rice in the microwave. Then I quickly pour myself a glass of wine. I was in a rush because I didn’t want to miss the movie. After the food warmed, I took my food and wine into the living room. I prop the items on the small table that sat in front of the couch. Then I sat on my leather reclining chair. I resume watching the show. After about 20 minutes, I notice there are no commercials. I couldn’t find the name of the program after pressing the information button on the remote. It was a little eerie.

“Oh well,” I said as I continued to watch, and enjoy my meal. As one of the actresses ran from the killer, I laughed as she fell down on her knees. The killer caught up to her and stabbed her to death. "She's so stupid," I said to myself. She had ample time to get away but didn’t.” 

Since I was a New York Police Officer, and a woman to boot, I would never let anyone stalk or attack me. I am too smart for that. Any woman that would let herself be victimize was a complete fool. I continued to watch the show while taking gulps of wine along the way. After an hour and a half and the last character was murdered, my eyelids began to close. I cut off the television with the remote. I removed my empty dishes from the table. I took them in the kitchen and put them in the sink to wash.

I walked towards the bathroom, taking off my uniform along the way. When I reached the tub, I filled the tub with hot water. Then I slowly immersed myself in. I jumped out of tub after several minutes, and dried myself off. I lotion my body before throwing on a soft cotton night gown. Then I literally jumped in the bed. I propped up my pillow and gently laid my head down.

In three seconds, flat, I was in dream land. In the dream I saw myself walking down a dark alley, similar to the one in the movie I just finished watching.  I couldn’t tell I was dreaming; it seemed so real. In real life I wouldn’t be afraid in this type of situation, but in this dream, it was kind of spooky. While in the alley, I bumped into a man. He was at least 6'7 feet tall and dark, but definitely not handsome. He had a scar on his face, and a jagged knife in his hand. I started to run. He started to chase. I started sweating, and kept looking back making sure he wouldn’t catch up to me. But no matter how fast I ran he was right behind me. My heart was racing and I was scared. I started running faster and then I fell. The man laughed and said, “I will get you next time!”.

         “No,” I screamed aloud in my bed as I broke out in a sweat.

         I laid in bed for a few minutes unable to move. I couldn’t believe how realistic the dream was. I chalked it up to me just finishing watching the movie, but I was wrong. Because the next evening I didn’t watch any movies, yet I had the same dream. I kept having these dreams, night after night.

The same man would chase me for several minutes. He then looked me in the eyes, and say, "You have better keep running because if I catch you, I am going to slit your throat wide open!" he growled.

“Oh my God,” I thought. “Those were the exact words the killer in the untitled movie spoke to the girl he had killed. I felt so bad for laughing at her, and thinking I was superior because I was a cop. I was so wrong in thinking I was so tough because I wore a uniform. I was no better than any other woman out there, just because of my profession.

You see that's why I don't want to go to sleep. I can’t go to sleep. The last dream I had the stalker told me he would kill me and I will never wake up.