Boys will be boys 

Sarah hears raised voices in the open-plan office and looks up from her desk.

“Are you two squabbling again,” she calls through the open door of her office. 

“No,” says one voice. “Just a robust debate,” says another.

“About work I hope,” she says.

“Yes. It’s about work,” says Darren.

“No, it’s not,” says Mitchell. “Darren’s still blaming me for the edits that were made to his article in the Trust’s magazine last year. It doesn’t seem to matter how often I tell him I didn’t edit that article. I passed it on to someone with more expertise in that area.”

Sarah goes through to the open-plan office shared by her two field-workers and the receptionist.

“We really need to sort this out,” she says. “I think I might have to ask Human Resources to deal with it. It’s affecting our work as well as our personal relationships.”

“I’d be happy with that,” says Mitchell. “I’ve told you that several times. But there’s no point if Darren doesn’t want to put it behind us so we can move on.”

“It’s not your business,” Darren says to Sarah.

“It is,” says Sarah … “it’s affecting the work of the team.”

“It’s personal. It’s between me and him.”

“It’s affecting our work. I’ll give you another week to sort it. After that we’ll have to go to HR. But, as I’ve said before, it seems straightforward to me. Mitchell asked someone with appropriate knowledge and experience to work on your article before it was published. He isn’t responsible for the changes. Have you talked to the person who actually did the work?”

“She says she did her job as well as she could. I accept that. But she wasn’t good enough, and that’s Mitchell’s responsibility. All he has to do is acknowledge that, and we’ll all be happy campers again.”

Mitchell begins to speak. Sarah raises a hand to stop him, and says “Mitchell says the work was done well by someone with knowledge and expertise. I accept his opinion. The article was well-received, and has become a guide for good practice in the area you covered. I really don’t see what the problem is.”

“I’m not talking about it anymore. You know how I feel. You’re not qualified to make a call on it.”

“I’m your manager. My concern now is that your unwillingness to accept and move on is affecting our work, and our relationships with each other. We need to address that, because our work is all about establishing and maintaining relationships with people who are in a bad place. I’ll arrange a session with Human Resources if you want me to.” 

Darren shrugs, and continues to avoid Mitchell as much as possible in daily work and weekly meetings.

Sarah and Mitchell often lunch together. Darren declines to join them, but occasionally agrees to join them at a pub after work on Fridays, 

“You and Mitchell seem to get on pretty well,” he says to her one day, when Mitchell is out of the office. “Going out to dinner, seeing each other at weekends, going to movies. Walks in the park. Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?”

“Just you and me?”

“Yes.”

“Sorry, no. You’re welcome to join the rest of us after work at the pub. We sometimes have a meal there.”

“But you often go out with Mitchell.”

“We went to school and university together. He’s a friend. A close friend. But that doesn’t affect our relationship at work. I’m the manager, and he knows that. He doesn’t get special treatment.” 

“He does. You don’t hassle him the way you hassle me.”

“I’m sorry if you think that. I try to be professional and treat you fairly. And I wouldn’t say I hassle you. I do have to push you a bit harder. You often lose concentration and drift off into space, and you miss significant details in clients’ histories. We need to be completely focussed on clients when we’re seeing them, and writing case notes. You’re not willing to discuss this with me. I’m particularly concerned that you find it difficult to work with Mitchell, and I don’t think it’s about that business with your magazine article. It’s affecting our work. Mitchell says he likes working with you: you challenge him to come up with new ideas, and stay on the mark. That’s good. But I think we need to resolve whatever the issue is that you have with him.”

Mitchell’s return to the office ends the conversation. Sarah’s attempts to get to the root of the issue continue to be rebuffed over the next few weeks.

Finally Sarah briefs a human resources manager. She says she thinks the core of the matter is that Darren is resentful because he feels Michell completely messed up his paper in the group’s magazine. He says has no other issues with his workplace relationships. 

HR suggests that Sarah should encourage the two men to socialise a bit after work. And even at work. “We don’t often see you in the social club rooms at lunch times or after work,” she says. “We’ve got a table tennis table, board games and cards. You would all be most welcome.”

Sarah explains that her team’s work hours are erratic. Their clients are often homeless, working night shifts as cleaners, or just wandering the streets during the day. “We often have to track them down at homeless shelters or in parks and pubs,” she says. “We’re not always welcome in their homes, and they don’t feel comfortable in offices. Sometimes we’re out on the streets at two o’clock in the morning, making sure our clients are taking their meds, sometimes taking  them to emergency rooms to get injuries or illnesses sorted. Darren’s article covered all of this very well. Maybe you should read it, and get a better feel for our work environment.”

HR is silent for a few moments. 

“I’m sorry,” says Sarah. “I shouldn’t have sounded off like that, but I do think sometimes that the admin side doesn’t really understand what we do here.”

“No, don’t apologise. I had no idea your work could be that tough. It must be emotionally draining for everyone. And this tenson between Darren and Mitchell obviously isn’t making your lives easier. Maybe we should take a break now, and get back together in a couple of days. I’d like to see Darren and Mitchell separately to get their views, but I want to think about it before going any further. Would you be happy with that?”

“Yes. Thanks,” says Sarah. “Rushing into it won’t help. Thank you for listening to me.”

“That’s what we’re here for.  Maybe you could tell your team that you’ve had a chat with me and we’ll be getting together at the end of the week to look at what we do next?”  ”

Sarah relays this to Darren and Mitchell. Darren walks out of the office the moment the topic is raised. She calls him back, asks Mitchell to leave, and tries to talk Darren into agreeing to hear what HR wants to do. He says he’ll consider it. Sarah says she wants it resolved. “You’ve got two days to discuss it with Mitchell. If you don’t I’ll have to set up a another meeting with HR … this time to discuss your behaviour and how we should deal with it. Mitch really wants to clear the air with you.”

Mitchell tries again, when they’re at a pub after work the next day. 

“I’m sorry you’ve carried those feelings with you all this time,” he says. “But you’ve had plenty of opportunities to talk to me about it. Why didn’t you?”

“Not talking about work stuff at the pub,” says Darren. “Not talking to you.”

He leaves.

“”There’s more going on with Darren than the issue of the article,” Mitch says to Sarah.

"Yes, there is,” says Sarah. “He wants to take me out.”

“You mean on a date?”

“Yes. I said no.”

“Does he know about us?”

“He’s resentful because he’s seen us together after work sometimes. He asked me to have dinner with him. I said no.”

“Does he know we’re lovers?”

“I think he suspects it.”

“You know you’re in a difficult position here, don’t you? I think we should tell HR about our relationship, and say this could be what’s upsetting Darren.”

HR calls them into a reconciliation meeting. Darren says the issue is personal. Nothing to do with work. Sarah says that’s not what he told her. Mitch agrees … “he told me it was about an article he wrote for our magazine”. Sarah says she thinks Darren might be upset about her relationship with Mitchell. We’re more than just friends, she says. 

“Yes, we’d noticed that,” says HR. She asks Darren to explain what he thinks the issue is.

“And if I don’t” he asks.

“We’ll probably have to move you out of this team,” the HR manager says “And that, unfortunately, means we would have to transfer you to another office. We don’t have any vacancies here, so that would mean we’d have to move you to another city.”

“I feel left out of things,” says Darren. “Sarah and Mitchell are close friends.”

“Yes, she’s told us that. Normal practice would be to transfer one of them somewhere else. We can fire one of them if they refuse the transfer. But it’s a small work team and you all do very good work. We would find it hard to replace any of you. Our view is that their relationship is only a work problem if she favours him over you. Do you think she gives him special treatment in some way?”

“Maybe. No, not really. I just …”

“Do you have feelings for Sarah?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think this is affecting your work?”

“Yes. And the work of the team. We’re not as close as we used to be.”

“I’ll ask you again. Are you being treated unfairly?”

“Sometimes I think so. Mitchell gets some assignments that I think I could do better. I feel like I’m being left out sometimes. We all used to go to the pub together, and have shared lunches at work. That seems to have stopped.”

HR asks Sarah what she thinks.

“Yes, I think I could be better at assigning cases. I’ve always just given new work to whoever has the lightest work load at the time. That’s the policy I was told to follow. But maybe we could change it, so that we all discuss new work coming in and decide together who takes it on.”

“We could live with that, I think,” says HR. “Let’s talk about it soon, to make sure we spot all the wrinkles. But I’m not sure what we can do about Darren’s feelings about your personal relationship. You don’t flaunt it in the office, do you? No hugs and kisses? No disappearing into the rest room together?”

“Of course not,” say the lovers together. “We don’t try to hide our feelings,” says Mitchell. “But we don’t flaunt them, either. Of course, it’s obvious we like each other. Anyone could see that.”

“What might work for you, Darren?”

“I really don’t know,” he says. “I think I’ll feel better if I’m involved in case assignment decisions, and have more of a say in how the office is run. But honestly I think Sarah does a pretty good job as it is, so I’m not sure how much can change.”

“So it’s really your personal feelings for Sarah that are the issue?”

“Yes. I guess so.”

“Do you have any thoughts about how we might be able to handle that?”

“I’d consider a transfer to another office, if that’s a possibility. Maybe going on leave for a while would help. I might need a month or so, but a bit of time and distance away from here could be all that’s needed.”

“Sarah, Mitchell? Anything to say?”

“I don’t want to lose Darren,” says Sarah. “He’s good at his job, and I know we can all work well together. We used to be a close team.  Could we try the month break idea, and see how that works?”

“I agree,” says Mitchell. “A break keeps the option of all of us continuing to work here open. The workload will be a bit tough for two of us to manage, but we’ve done it before when someone was on leave. Maybe Sarah could pick up some of the easier cases.”

“Darren, do you have anything further to add,” asks HR. 

“Yes. Firstly, I really appreciate the time that people are taking to work this through, and include me in the decisions. Secondly, I really do wish Mitchell and Sarah well, and I hope we can restore a really good working relationship when I get back. And finally, a friend of mine has just qualified as a social worker and is looking for some work experience. She might be willing to sit in my seat and get some experience. She wouldn’t be able to take on cases by herself, but she could help in the background, arranging appointments and referrals and maybe sitting in on consultations. Oh, and finally plus one, I’m sorry I’ve been such an arsehole over the past few months. It was very unprofessional and I shouldn’t have let my personal feelings disrupt the workplace.”

Mitchell and Sarah stand and turn to Darren.

“Hug?” asks Sarah.