((This is part 2 of a story I made a few years later, and in first person))

I stared at the concrete wall, thinking about the ship that got me into this mess. Sure, I was only nine, but the government didn't care.

It all started on a ship, when mother-that traitor- was playing hide and seek with me. Maybe I worded that wrong. I hid on a ship, and mother was on the island.

Anyways, long story short, I discovered that I had an unusual power. I also believed I wasn't real, though it was a hoax, at least the government said.

My mother said this was for the best, she thought I was insane. But she was wrong. At least, I assumed she was.

My mother also told them that I had a unique power.

They had tried to get it to come back, hurting me, physically, and emotionally.

But it never came back.

It seemed as though it was gone.

My cell door-I think of it like that at least-opened, revealing a man in a white suit.

The people that poked and hurt me thought of themselves as scientists. They had hurt me too much, is what they thought. So, they made a man come in every now and then, and bring me a gift.

It seemed okay-my room I mean-it had a soft comforter, and a down mattress, but it wasn't the same, so I slept on the floor.

Then, they started bringing in toys.

But still, they weren't the same.

Weren't the same as grandmama and Aunt Liyana made.

Weren't the same at all.

They had packaging, and if I opened it, in hopes I would find one of my old toys, an unnaturally soft thing would come out.

Sometimes the boxes would have sickly sweet chewy rounds, what the man called candy.

"Here, Eri", the man said tiredly, probably because the last time he gave me something, I had thrown it at his face in a fury.

He had a package, with tape on it.

I stared at it as he put it down.

Then, I talked.

"Take them away."

"What do you mean?", the startled man asked.

"I mean all of these toys, that take up the cell."

The man just grumbled, but did as I asked, and took them all.


I strode into the eating room, but the woman called it the kitchen. Sure, it had a table, a few stools, and cooking supplies, but she thought that was a kitchen?

Sometimes, when I would eat, I would catch glimpses of a newspaper that a woman would read, while making cookies.

I loved the woman.

I mean, she was the nicest person here, and never hurt me-not that I cared at this point.

She would bake me treats, and even take my recipes into consideration.

Several times, she would get them just right, and give them to me-the island recipes I mean.

Her name was Nikki.

Today, she was reading the newspaper, and the title read: BREAKING NEWS: NACI VIRUS OUTBREAK IN AMERICA.

From what I could gather, the NACI virus was a sickness, but couldn't reach us underground.

"How're you doing Eri?", Nikki asked.

"Fine..", I replied.

"I have good news, and more good news, which first?", she joked.

"Hmm...Hard choice. Good news.", I said.

"Well...The scientists are leaving!", she celebrated.

As she said this, the oven in the kitchen chimed, and she got up, and brought out a fresh batch of coconut chip cookies.

She knew that I disliked the scientists very much, but there had to be some reason why, right?

"Anndd...", she drawled out, "They're never coming back!"

I stared at her, bewildered.

"So that means...I get to leave?", I asked excitedly.

Nikki gave me a sympathetic look.

"Sweetheart...You see...There's this sickness going around...And any kid around it is bound to get it, no exceptions. Everyone's on lockdown, like us, but brighten up!", she said, seeing my crestfallen feelings I was hoping to hide.

I looked around, as though I was seeing for the first time, but not in a good way. I felt as if someone had been dangling my hopes and dreams in front of me, and then they fell, and broke. To be honest, that was exactly what happened.

A rainbow of grays washed over me, and I felt sick to my stomach.

Nikki walked over, and sat on a stool next to mine.

"Why don't you take a walk around? This bunker is very big, you know, so make sure to grab some cookies, and some markers so you can find your way back."


Taking Nikki's advice, I realized I had never gone farther than the lab, kitchen, and my cell.

There were many doors along the hallway, and I opened every one I saw.

One had a lot of storage baskets in it, towering over me.

Another had a small garden, though how, I wasn't sure.

A door to my right had a small room with a table, and a glass separating it from another table, with two chairs.

This caught my interest, but not because of the tables, lack of light, and dust piling up, but there was someone a box of papers next to me.

But the thing that caught me the most?

The person sitting on the other side.


When I had gone in the room with the tables, Nikki called me to come back, and I had no choice but to obey if I wanted dessert, which I sure as heck did.

At the table, I asked her about the person.

"Oh Eri...I was hoping you wouldn't find out...But...You see... There are other people like you...Other people your age...Other people who are...Special.", She stuttered.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"They aren't exactly like you...", she said.

"How so?"

"Well, for starters", she finally looked at me in the eyes, "They're dangerous."

To be continued?

March 10, 2021 16:03

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Tessa Takzikab
01:35 Mar 12, 2021

This definitely seems like the 'chapter 1' of a book. Maybe the previous segment is the 'prologue'? You have a few more spelling errors, but not the type a spell check would catch(though where it should be thought). Did you ever think of a grammar checker? They don't catch everything, but they'll get the similarly spelled words. When you have your whole book, let me know. I'll happily be your editor if I'm available. Ideas for further 'chapters': Why she calls her mother a traitor Other 'special' children making friends? If it does beco...


Thank you so much! I don't think this will become a novel, though, I'm not that good! Thanks for the ideas too, they are really thoughtful, and if I make a part 3, I'll be sure to add it in!


Tessa Takzikab
18:00 Mar 12, 2021

The rough draft doesn't have to be 'that good', and your writing skills are better than you think they are... But it's hard to stick to the same plot-line for so long, so I understand if you don't do it.


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