The Ultimate Prankster

"Ahhh!!!" she screamed, as the dark figure in a Jason mask popped out from a hidden corner in the hallway.

She kicked the figure in the groin. The figure clutched his groin in pain.

"Hey!" the figure yelled. "It's me!"

"Justin?!" screamed Stephanie as she searched for the light switch in the dark. Her fingers finally grasped the switch and she flicked the light on. "Are you kidding me?" It's three in the morning. I have been begging you to stop these awful pranks."

"What's going on?" asked Mark, her husband, stumbling from the master room into the hallway, rubbing his eyes. "I heard noise. Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not OK," Stephanie raised her voice. Your idiot brother scared me - again. I'm so sick of him and his stupid pranks!"

"Well, you got a good kick in, but I totally got you, didn't I?" responded Justin as he took off the Jason mask. I was still up gaming and heard you come out of your room to go to the bathroom, so I couldn't resist. Too bad I didn't get my phone in time to stream this prank to my followers. 

Letting out a shrill scream, Stephanie turned to her husband. "Can't you do something? We need to kick him out the house. He's a 21-year-old college dropout with no job. He hasn't done anything useful in the almost two years he's lived here. Please, let's kick him out, finally."

"I'm just trying to get my social media off the ground. I'm up to 500 followers now. Once I go viral, I'll hit some big numbers, the money will start flowing in and you'll be grateful."

"At my expense!" shrieked Stephanie! "Saran wrap on the toilet seat! Pantsing me at the mall when I wasn't even wearing underwear. Calling...

"I had no idea you weren't wearing underwear, but that did help me get 50 new followers," interrupted Justin, laughing.

"....my work and speaking to my manager by pretending to be a cop and that I've been stealing money from the bank I work at. I almost lost my job thanks to you, and I lost out on my promotion after the investigation cleared me. Putting - or saying you have - put urine in my smoothies, although you never did tell me if you actually did. Well, the thought of you messing with my food and drinks means I have to be on guard 100 percent of the time around you. That time you pretended like I hit you when I backed my car up into you, and only finally admitted it was a prank once the paramedics showed up. Paying a 10-year-old kid to pretend that he was being kidnapped by me when I was shopping at the grocery store, which meant people called the cops and I spent two hours in there explaining what really happened. And I think you scarred that kid for life after he was also questioned by the police. The list just goes on and on."

"You're overreacting. It's just a joke, sis," laughed Justin. "Although your overreacting is what getting me more followers, slowly but surely. And hey, my followers absolutely love the pranks. I just know it's going to go viral and the money will start rolling in. I bet you'll quit you're whining then."

"Do you hear this?" Stephanie looked over to Mark. "Your brother is a psychopath."

"Let's all discuss this in the morning," yawned Mark. "Justin, leave Stephanie alone. And let's all go back to bed."

Once they were back in their room, Stephanie whispered to Mark, her voice rising. "Can't we just kick him out? He never does these pranks to you. I mean, he almost cost me my job at the bank."

"Honey," Mark replied evenly, "You know I promised my mom on her deathbed that I would always take care of Justin. I know he'll grow out of this phase. And I know it's annoying, but I don't think he's messing with you as often as he did. I think it was a couple of weeks ago when he did something to you. But we can reassess in another couple of months and discuss what to do then. But for now, let's go back to sleep."

Internally, Stephanie thought that they'd been having the same conversation for almost the two years Justin lived with them, but nothing changed. Life used to be so perfect before Justin showed up, but mommy's boy Mark would never throw Justin out, especially since his mom had died making him promise he would always take care of Justin But aloud, she just responded, "Okay, you're right. Let's discuss it later and just go to sleep."

Justin was going to get worse and worse. What horrible thing was he planning next? And what was she going to do about it?

Two Months Later:

Justin hoisted his backpack onto one shoulder, making the walk at night to the city next to him, trekking to hide out in a motel. There was never much traffic on the highway at night, especially since he now lived in a mostly rural area. He'd be fine walking on the shoulder at night, deliberately wearing all dark clothes so that nobody could recognize him as they whizzed by at 70 miles per hour. By his estimation, it should take six hours to get to the next city if he walked fast, hoping to arrive before sunrise. He hoped they would accept cash without a credit card and planned to stay under the name Rick Smith to make him sound as boring as possible. He had stolen some cash from his brother and Stephanie over the years, but this was for a good cause. If he could simply disappear for a week, his brother and Stephanie would notify the policy, there would be a search for him, and then his followers would increase in size. Sure, he might get arrested for wasting the police's time, but he knew Mark would get him the best lawyer in town to make sure he didn't get any jail time, and then his social media followers would just go insane. He'd have to do something a little crazy like this to get his followers to where he wanted to be, but he was willing. He looked at the name of the motel and address to make sure he knew where he was headed, and placed the paper with the written information back in his backpack. He had left his phone back at Mark and Stephanie's place, but he couldn't risk being tracked down by GPS. He'd recount the whole story later for his followers on social media. 

Suddenly, a car passed him, screeching to a halt, and then began backing up, faster and faster, until when he decided that it was time to jump out of the way, it was too late. He had already been hit, his backpack flying into the woods next to him as his head landed on the pavement with a thud.

A figure got out of the car, carrying a baseball bat, and as the figure got nearer, Justin could see it was a she. Not just a she, but his sister-in-law, Stephanie. 

"Stephanie," he cried, unable to get up, feeling woozy. He had hit his head hard on the pavement. "What are you doing here? You hit me with your car."

"Ya know," she started, her voice icy, "it took some time to figure out what you were up to, but with the motel written down, missing cash from my and Mark's wallets, and you leaving your phone at home. I pieced it together. You're a real asshole, ya know what. People would’ve suspected me and Mark had done something to you. I mean, I guess they'd be half right."

"What," he groaned, his head throbbing. "I would've come back before both of you could be arrested. So, what now you're going to kill me over this? he laughed in disbelief. "You just hit me with your car. My DNA is all over it."

"Well," she shrugged. Technically, your DNA would be on the car earlier this year from when I backed into you, although your being there was intentional. One of your epic jokes, right? And I've given Mark a couple of sleeping pills put in his tea every night for the past month in anticipation that you'd do something dumb - again, so he'll sleep through the night and never question me leaving. Once I saw you leaving and leaving your phone behind, I knew you'd begun your plan. Well, so have I."

"WAIT!” Justin screamed as she started to bring the bat down on his head. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Let's go home and never talk about this again. I promise not to be a prankster anymore."

Stephanie hesitated, and then her smile turned wide. "Oh, stop overreacting. It's just a joke, bro," as she brought the bat down on his head.