Reality?

I was running and running as fast as I could. I felt the wind rushing hard on my face and the sweat dripping down my face, legs, and arms. I never ran like this and I’m definitely not taken as “the girl who runs”. But I had to. 

Thoughts rushed through my head just as fast as I was running. I don’t think my feet were even hitting the ground. How could he have gone and done that and expect me to ask for him back? Was I wrong or not? Suddenly I stopped, knees buckled and my face right in a tree…

*****

I woke up in some sort of school hallway, or am I actually awake? I looked around, no one to be found, lockers shut, lights dim. I realized this was the same place (gosh I can’t even say his name) he left me at the school dance. Was it something I did? Was he cheating? Or was it something else? Too many questions, I felt nauseous and I needed to get out of there.

I was running again so so fast. I burst through the school doors and started running home. Almost there, I thought. Then right in front of my house, there he was. I woke up.

*****

Again, I arose but this time in a familiar setting. It looked like a younger version of his room. No older than 10, no younger than 6. Probably a boys’ room. Someone came in who looked like a fatherly figure. He walked past me as if he couldn’t even see me and that’s when I noticed the little girl behind me. I couldn’t recognize either of them. The father beat the poor child as I watch, frozen, as the boy struggles to get away. The father walks out with a huff and with that, the lights went dark. So did I.

*****

As I gained coincidence once again, I’m in a sweet little cafe. A nice change from the bedroom. It was sweet until the bitter taste of revenge slipped into his mouth. Did I do something so bad? Was it really worth my life? I breathed in and out slowly. I got up to walk to the bathroom and as I was doing so I see the old man sitting behind me slip some powder into my drink. I knew it! 

I confronted the man and he looked scared. He stuttered his name and explained that he was paid two hundred dollars to follow me around and poison me. I sit there listening to the man intently. I stare into his eyes trying to read him but the only thing I can sense was his fear. Without thinking, I’m so deep in thought that I take a sip...

*****

Bright lights were beaming in my face. I felt hot so I shoved the blanket off. I sat up thinking I would be in a hospital but soon saw that I was in some sort of empty room. I was laying on a table with nothing but socks on. When I looked down, I screamed, my guts spilling out of me. I couldn’t feel it though, this puzzled me. I tried to hold my insides, well, inside me, and got off the table. I tried walking out the door but just slumped forward as if my body was jelly. Why is this happening to me?! I woke up.

*****

My thoughts, my loud loud thoughts. It was all that I could hear. Why was I seeing all of these places and what is reality? Who was that boy? The cafe, how is it still there? I swear it was torn down years ago! Why could I not move? That boy… I needed to stop, I needed to think. “I’m not going crazy”, is what I repeated to myself over and over until I couldn’t anymore. I tried to think of happier things, my best friends, my mom, going to the skating rink. No, I can’t think of the skating rink no, no, no!

*****

I was shot into the ice skating rink and managed to land on my skates. I then realized I was linking arms with someone. Him. He tried to hold me up straight but I kept sliding. I soon tried to be happy and go with the flow of things. We skated for hours maybe days gosh I couldn’t tell you. But then, he left my arms with me in the middle of the rink. He went to the bathroom (I think, it was really dark I couldn’t tell) and pulled out what I think was his phone. I tried going to follow him but just fell to my bum. As that happened three other skaters tumbled on top of me, one taking my finger with her. He never came back...

*****

Long green pastures with flowers and cornfields filling them. That’s what I always dreamed of. I was finally here. Mama always told me if I was a good girl I could go anywhere and be anything I want. I tried, really did but I just don’t know what it is that I did wrong to him. I went up to the tallest hill and sat under this beautiful tree. It was made of crystals and emerald leaves. The trunk was made of solid gold. Stunning, I would’ve told you. Divine, is how I felt. There was a swing attached to it and as I swung on it, far from the hill, I let go. I couldn’t even feel the fall, if there was one.

*****

I’m in my room. Is this finally reality? The same thought that has been tugging and ripping my soul apart for the past few days, came into my head. Him. My struggles were because of him. My pain because of him. My death, because of him. 

I slowly, oh so slowly, walk to my front porch. It was raining but not ordinary water, fire. It was raining fire. I walk into it finally accepting my fate. I let the “rain” drip down my face starting from my forehead, running down my eyelid, over my nose, and stopping at my lip. I don’t expect to wake up this time.