Maybe in a next life

I picked up my phone and hesitantly dialed a number. With every beep I grew more and more impatient. Finally, I heard a shady voice reply. 

"Do you have the money?" He asked. 

"Do you have the information?"

"The money first." 

"If it isn’t legit I’m reporting you to the police," I said. I was drowning in uncertainty. But I had to take my chances. 

"Alright, double dealer, you know you’ll be in trouble too if you do that."

"Ha! I’ve got nothing to lose. So you better not be fooling around." I threatened.

I got inside my car and drove to a street that isn’t too busy. I opened the link the man sent me, even though it would probably fill my phone with viruses. To my relief, everything that we agreed was there. I scanned through it. 

Name: Seo Hyun-Min

Age: 29 years old

Occupation: Singer- songwriter 

Address: *** ******* *** Seoul, Korea

Phone number: *******

I sighed and tapped the digits of the phone number on my keypad.

…

Your voice is so angelic, Hyunmin!

It’s beautiful! 

"Haha, thanks guys!" Hyunmin said reading the fans' comments.

Hyunminie, have you eaten yet?

"No, actually, but I’ll do after the live! I should probably end it soon." 

Hyunminie, who’s calling you? 

He glanced at his phone, and quickly put it back down. 

"Don’t worry about it!" He said laughing it off.

I’m really worried about Hyunmin, a seasang keeps calling him during his lives. 

He seems very uncomfortable.

Who is this person?

The company should do something about it.

How did they get his phone number?

I sighed, and put down my phone. Social media has flooded with these comments, and fans are concerned about the idol’s safety. How stupid. Why isn’t he picking up, dammit? This is irritating. A feeling of disappointment lingered inside me. I should take more drastic measures, then. I guess that makes me a sasaeng. But I don’t care. People can say whatever they want. It's too late to go back now.

I put the address into my GPS, and drove to the destination. Find him, the words echoed in my head. I can't suppress this urge any longer. 

… 

Hyunmin walked into his apartment, and shut the door behind him. He took off his jacket and glanced at his phone. 10 missed calls. He closed his eyes annoyed. Then he put it back in his pocket and grabbed a cup of cold water. He took a sip and quickly placed it back down, as he noticed something on the counter. A piece of paper. He cautiously picked it up and read it. 

I know what you did. Just answer my calls and I won’t tell anyone. 

I waited in my car, but then I saw someone rushing out of the building across the street. Oh, it was Hyunmin. He seemed to be in a panic. He got inside a car, and started driving away. Follow him. I drove behind him, leaving a good amount of distance so he doesn’t notice me. Oh, the police station. So he saw the note. And it looks like he still refuses to answer my calls. Tsk, this idiot. A burning rage was suddenly born. I drove back to his apartment. I quickly broke inside and left another note. On my way out of the apartment building, I bumped into Hyunmin. He didn’t even glance at me and continued going up the stairs to his apartment. I crossed my eyebrows displeased.

Hyunmin walked inside his apartment. He sat down and put his head in his hands. He was still for a couple of seconds. Then, his eye caught something. He looked up. He stared at a piece of paper on the table. He looked around him alarmed, as if he was worried someone was watching him. Then he slowly got up. With trembling hands, he picked up the paper. 

If you don’t come down by the parking lot tonight, I will have no choice but to publish your address and phone number. 

… 

At 10pm, I waited down by the parking lot. This fool better show up. I was waiting in my car in case any police showed up. Then, I saw someone walking. It was Hyunmin. My heart started beating excitedly. I was surprised, I didn’t actually think he’d come. I got out of my car. He looked around and saw me. I walked up to him. I was wearing a black face mask and a hoodie over my head, which probably made him back up when I tried to approach him. 

"Is it you?" He asked. He tried not to show it, but his voice was slightly trembling. "The sasaeng?"

"Sasaeng? Sure. You can call me that." 

"What do you want? Why are you stalking me?"

"I want you," I said. Hyunmin looked uncomfortable.

"You abandoned me. You mustn't do that again."

"What...?"

"You don't understand?" I felt an unexplainable rage. "You left me and ran away, during your concert when the fireworks accidentally caused a fire. I'll never forgive you." I took off my mask and revealed a burn mark across my face.

"How is this my fault?" Hyunmin asked turning pale.

"Don't worry, Hyunminie. I'll make sure you never leave me ever again," I said smirking.

"Seriously, this conversation is ridiculous. Please stop bothering me, you're sick." He said and turned away scared. Stop him, the voice in my head echoed.

"Where are you going?" I laughed and pulled out a knife. Hyunmin froze.

"Damn, you really are crazy. What makes you think you can just put the blame on me? Do you think I wanted that incident to happen?"

"I don't know, did you?"

"What are you talking about?? How could you say something like this?" I laughed. I felt a great sense of satisfaction.

"You know, I can easily frame you. Your career will be over. So just do as I say, will you Hyunminie?" His face darkened.

"Do you think anyone will believe that? So many fans love me and you’re just a creepy sasaeng. You’re the one who should be arrested."

… 

I’m really glad that sasaeng got caught

Who knows what shady cult she got Hyunmin’s private information from… 

Invading idols’ privacy, stalking them and threatening them is so messed up. They are people and they have feelings too.

Our poor Hyunminie, he must have been really scared.

I heard the sasaeng even tried to kidnap him!

Sasaengs are the worse type of people, you really can’t defend them

She deserves to die for going after our Hyunminie

… 

Stalker, they call me. Sasaeng, they call me. It makes me angry. Am I really in the wrong? Regardless, maybe in a next life Hyunmin can love me.  

In a next life, maybe I’ll try being a normal fan, like everyone else. Then maybe people won't hate me. Maybe I can experience the joy of receiving heartfelt words of comfort, though I'm afraid they might just be sugar coated lies. Maybe in a next life I won't have a voice in my head, that's telling me to act upon my selfish desires. Maybe in a next life, I can be loved too.