Evergreen

Tiana finally threw her phone down in surrender. She had crafted a text message to sound unconvincingly casual and then revised and over thought it to the point of exhaustion. She had already sent a similar text just a few days prior to ask if she had left a pair of leather gloves behind with a friend and that mystery was still left unsolved. This morning she was even more disappointed to realize that the same friend who may have her gloves somewhere in his car might have a pair of 14 carat gold earrings in the shape of evergreen leaves residing somewhere hidden in the house he shared with their mutual friend, Tony. And if they were not there, the only place she could deduce they were would be at their other mutual friends' house - a couple from LA that she had loved but did not want to reach out to like Tony and Topher. She decided to hold off on trying to find her earrings and hopped in her car.

When Tiana had first met the boys it was through work, working long hours outside that created a fast family-like bond. Time changes all though. Even though they stayed close enough with one another to sign leases together and celebrate milestones, the last few months Tiana heard enough shade thrown behind the other's backs to wonder what was said about her when she wasn't around. When she wasn't with them, she felt outcasted, and when she was with them, she felt off. They were her family though, right? They still worked together but being outside and in nature didn't seem to fulfill them the same way anymore. So, to fill the void, especially during the winter months when the nights were longer, the drinks would start cracking open at earlier hours and flow long into the dark. Was it ironic that the earrings she lost with one of them would be nature themed? Then suddenly, one day, the whole team was laid off.

She arrived at the trail and put her car into park. Already she felt herself relaxed knowing she was about to clear her mind more on a hike. She hadn't planned for it much before leaving the house, simply grabbing her Nalgene and a cliff bar and tossing them into the front seat of the car. She twisted her body to look in the back seats for something she could carry her water and snack in. A small Black Diamond backpack was wedged underneath one of the seats. Tiana grabbed it and yanked it up firmly. When she had hastily packed up her last apartment this backpack served as a vessel for things she had almost forgotten behind. She shook it upside down a few times allowing loose change, a pink ankle sock, and an old vape to fall out. Stuffing her hiking provisions into the pack, she got out of the car and started up along the creek.

The last night she spent with her friends was unfortunate, and not just because of the lost jewelry. They all knew that due to the layoff they were about to spend some time apart. The couple would head back to LA where Johnathan would go back to the job he held before they all met. Tony and Topher had a lease to finish out, but Tiana had heard enough whispers between the group that Tony might not be able to afford it and might be forced to leave. As for Tiana, she was uncertain what life held for her, but she knew she would have to leave at least for a few months as well.

About an hour and a half of hiking in, Tiana felt heavy. It wasn't so much the exercise that set her this way. The entirety of the hike she spent thinking on how much she had lost in the course of a short week. A week that was short in measurements of time but long in how much had happened. "It wasn't really just a week," she thought to herself. Her family had been unraveling all winter. She'd seen it in their lost ambitions. She felt it in how hard she tried to hold on to how things used to be. It was a hollow empty feeling inside missing them now. She felt feverish, clammy, and even though she had exerted herself physically hiking she knew she wasn't just overheating because of that. It was like her whole body was worked because of her constant overthinking! And the cherry on top of her melting sundae? Those earrings were still missing. Those earrings that her work family noticed her look at just one time in passing. Her fingers brushed up against them and she felt the slightest smile dance upon her lips. Flipping them over to look at the price tag the smile exploded into a choked giggle and an eye roll as she continued through the store with the 4 of them. Two weeks later they presented them to her as a birthday gift and she'd almost cried tears of joy and love. And now the earrings were gone. Her loves were gone. She was gone.

Unable to take her inner turmoil any longer she threw her backpack down and jumped into a deep enough pool in the creek. She held her breath until she felt the world finally silence. Time was finally as suspended as she was.

When she allowed her body to break the surface once again, air had never tasted so sweet. Floating on her back, kicking herself around lazily. This is what she had come out here for. Eventually she pulled her toned and weary body onto a rock and dragged her pack closer to her. For all the paths she allowed her mind to hypothetically follow, she willed it to stay present in the warmth of the sun. She missed them. Johnathon, Topher, and Tony. She missed the whole crew. That was ok. But life happened before them. Life would happen after them. Love would keep flowing. She felt a warmth, not from the sun, but inside that overflowed through her whole body and out of the corners of her eyes that wet her face after the sun had just kissed it dry. With a deep sigh she sat up and reached into her pack to grab the cliff bar. It was greeted with the tangles of other treasures she had almost left behind – a phone charger that was not hers, a yellow color pencil, and something small and square. She pulled it out of the bag.

It was a small wooden box, another gift to her, this one after she graduated from being a rookie. The design carved in it looked like a mosaic butterfly sitting atop a rose. Underneath in cursive read "Darla", which the whole crew had given her as a nickname when she first started because she was bright eyed and innocent "And thought the whole world was just darling," Tiana thought fondly to herself. For some reason a black rubber band was looped tightly around the box as if to keep it shut. She thought it was weird, firstly because she couldn't remember doing that herself. Secondly, the box didn't need any help staying shut, its lid slid tightly in and out of place without the need for assistance. She dropped the rubber band into her pack and slipped the lid back. Clumsy as ever, two glimmers of gold dropped into the dirt revealing the earrings she thought she'd struggle to be reunited with. Brushing them off gently, Tiana held them close to her heart and took a deep breath in. Then she slid each one on where they belonged, gathered what she had and started back on the trail towards home.