Please Don't Forget Me

The room is unfamiliar. I don’t know how I got here. The last thing I remember is… is… I don’t remember anything. Panic begins to run through my body as I take in my surroundings. I tilt my head down to see my naked body covered in goose skin from my waist up. A crisp white sheet covers me from the waist down. The sheet matches the rest of the room. Everything is either bleach white or stainless steel. The room reeks of sterility. The only light comes from the overhead lights.

Three of my cell walls are concrete painted white. A thin drape covers the fourth wall. The room is silent. No machines beep. No voices speak. Only the sound of my chaotic breathing can be heard. Where am I? I try to sit up. My body feels like it is full of sand. After some struggle, I succeed.

I turn to swing my legs over the side of the little bed. Relief washes over me. I had expected them to be gone or something worse. There is something strange about my feet, though. I stare at the dark red toenails of my pale purple feet. I inspect my fingernails; they match.

Having no memory of the events leading to my current situation, it’s odd to be naked with a fresh mani-pedi. I wiggle my toes and ball my hands into fists as if I were doing a systems check. My movements are slow and stiff; otherwise, everything seems to be in working order. Then, I try to leap to the floor. My body becomes ridged. I am stuck sitting naked with my legs hanging off the edge and my hands planted beside my thighs on the edge of the bed. Panic returns.

My entire body is frozen in the stiff seated position. I begin to hyperventilate. I try to open my mouth to scream for help. My mouth doesn’t move. It stays shut. Only a distressed hum escapes me. I try to shake my body from side to side to have some control of my body without any success.

I continue to fight again and again. I try to scream. I start to cry from the frustration and fear. What is going on? Where am I? Please, someone, anyone, help me! I hear a metallic click from behind the drape. Then another, only louder. Like giant robotic steps, the clicks grow closer and closer. Then with the final click a halo of light forms around the drapes.

Two silhouettes stand like shadow puppets on the opposite side of the sheet. My heartbeat quickens. I should feel relief instead of dread and fear. The curtain slithers towards the right with a mechanical whirl. The silhouettes become two men in white jumpsuits. They stand on the opposite side of a great glass wall. I feel like a fish in an aquarium.

The jumpsuits are as sterile as the room, but they wear brown leather tool bags around their waists. They talk and laugh on the other side of the glass. My first instinct is that I am the subject of their conversation. The glass splits open, and I feel relieved and a little angry when I hear they’re talking about a baseball game instead. They walk into the room like it’s just another day at the office. Maybe it is.

The first man doesn’t acknowledge me at all. He walks over to a stainless-steel table and examines the tools on its surface. The other walks over to me with a tablet in his hand. He looks at his tablet and then up at my face. He scrolls down the screen with a swipe of his finger, pauses, and utters a series of numbers under his breath. Then, leaning over, he folds my left ear down.

I try to retreat from his touch, but my body stays firm. Instead, I only manage to let out a low whine as he touches me. He moves his face beside my head. I can hear him repeat the numbers softly to himself.

“Ok, so what’s left for this one?” The tableted man asks.

“memory load, ain’t it?”

“Yeah, and a systems check. It looks like this one’s voice box was torn out by one of the guests.”

“That wasn’t the only thing that was torn out. I worked on this one with Mark yesterday. Talk about a mess. Those rich bastards are sick, man.”

“So, you’re the one that didn’t put it in storage mode and left it sitting up like this?”

“Nah, it must have been Mark.”

“Sure, it was. And It’s not just rich bastards anymore. Even poor bastards like you and me can afford to be sickos now.”

“I’m good. These things give me the creeps.”

I try to look at the one who had called me a “Thing.” I am not a thing. I am a person. I have a name. My name is... My name is. My old friend Panic comes back in a flood. I can’t remember my name. I can’t remember anyone’s name. I look at the man in front of me as he swipes and pokes the tablet’s screen. Then he looks up into my eyes.

“authentication code: One, six, two, six, five, six.” He speaks the numbers slowly and clearly.

I let out a sound that can only be described as an idiotic moan. I’m embarrassed, and the man at the table laughs. I can tell the man in front of me is more than a little frustrated.

“You two are morons. Did you not verify the system update yesterday after replacing the voice box?”

“I thought we did.”

“Well, you didn’t, it takes two seconds. Two!” He swipes and prods at the tablet as he speaks.

“Damn, Drew, sorry. Get off my case.”

“Just do your job, Mike. That’s all I ask. It’s not much.” Drew looks back up at me. “Ok, let’s try this again. Authentication code, five, two, nine, five, three, three.” He reads from his tablet.

My body feels as though Novocain was injected into every muscle. “Credentials required.”   The words escape my lips. Words that were not my own. In my mind, I am screaming and flailing my limbs, trying to escape. In reality, I sit numb, frozen to the edge of the bed. I hate the voice.

“Andrew Tate, ID number one, five, six.”

“Hello Andrew thank you for visiting me today, how are you?” Again, the words came, but they were strangers. This voice is calm and almost comforting. It’s the voice of an automated phone recording. It doesn’t show the fear and uncertainty I’m feeling.  

“I’m fine, thank you for asking. What is two plus two?” He asks.

“Four,” The voice answers.

“What is the ocean's name between Europe and the United States?”

“The Atlantic.”

“What is the capital of Texas?”

“Austin.”

“Which word is unlike the others: Milk, Water, Juice, Rock.”

“Rock”

“What is your name?”

“Unit awaiting name assignment.” The words sent an icy chill down my spine. This was not happening.

“Ok, cool, easy day. It looks like you guys didn’t screw everything up. You got the base memories in.”

“You think you’re so much better than us, Drew. You’re not. You’re not any better than the rest of us techs.”

“I don’t think that Mike. I’m just tired, is all.” Andrew made some swipes on his tablet. “Ok, unit 450, your name is now Melissa.” He said to me without looking up from his tablet.

“Thank you, Andrew, I like the name Melissa very much.”

“Glad to hear it,” He said to me. “Uploading personal memories time, now.”

A life rushes before my eyes. I see my parents and my siblings, I remember how I got the scar on my right knee from falling off a bike. I remember the first boy I kissed and the first girl. The joy and pain of high school. Every sight, sound, smell, taste. Every emotion, every physical sensation hit me like a wrecking ball.

I can hear Mike and Andrew arguing over me. I open my eyes and find myself curled on the cold cement floor. I can see their bootie-covered feet as they blame each other for what happened. I can feel my body again and wiggle my fingers. I hold back a smile at my own autonomy.

“Why didn’t you lay it down before the upload!” Mike yelled.

“Because I forgot it was sitting up! You should have stored it right! They aren’t supposed to be upright in storage!”

“I did store it right! Even if I didn’t, how do you not notice those giant tits?”

“Screw you, pervert. Help me get it up on the table.”

Their cold hands grab my warm body. Hands slide into my armpits and on my thighs. I feel weightless as they lift me back on the table. When they let go of me, I sit up quickly, and they both jump back.

“Where am I, and who are you?” I beg, looking at Mike and then Andrew.

“Wow, wow, it's ok, you’re ok. We’re not here to hurt you.” Andrew reassures with his hands held out in front of him.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“You had a little fall. You’re in the hospital. I’m Dr. Tate. This is my Nurse, Michael.”

“Screw you. Why am I the nurse?”

“Shut up, Mike." Andrew answers without taking his eyes off me.

“Why not just tell it the truth? You’re a –"

“Shut up, Mike!”

“You know what Drew. I’m getting really tired of you bossing me around.”

“M I C 547 shut down authorization Andrew Tate ID 156." Andrew blurts out the command.

In response, Mike’s face goes blank, and his arms fall slack at his sides. He squats down and hugs his legs, making a compact ball of man. His eyes are open as he stares straight ahead without signs of life.

“These damn software updates are going to get someone killed.” Andrew says, “Sorry, Melissa, we have to start over. Can you please lay down for me?”

I can’t stop looking at the balled-up man behind Drew. The expressionless face and contortion of the body make me sick. I don’t want to lie down; I want to get out.

“Melissa, did you hear me? Please don’t make this more difficult than it has to be, I’ve already had a long day.”

I did the first thing I could think of. “Look out!” I shout, pointing at the balled man on the floor. It’s not very clever, but it does the trick. Andrew jumps up from his stool and turns around to find Mike’s motionless body. Now, with his back in front of me, I reach forward, wrap my arm around his neck, and squeeze.

I wrap my legs around his body, and we both fall to the floor. I contract every muscle in my body. Andrew squirms as he pries at my arms with his hands. He continues to pry with one as the other disappears.

His fist slams into my thigh. I scream in pain as he continues to stab me. The pain is like a shock from a cattle prod, but I refuse to let go of his neck. The stabs grow weaker until Andrew's body hangs limp in my arms.

I let go, and his body lies limp next to the bloody screwdriver. I hop to my feet and am met with pain exploding through my leg. I fall back to the ground. Determined, I claw my way back up. In my head, I had pictured this going more smoothly. I had imagined Andrew falling unconscious and stealing his uniform. Reality was different.  Alarms began to scream before I could catch my breath.

In a combination of fear and instinct, I grab the bed sheet. I wrap it around my body as I bolt out the door. Flashes from the red warning lights punctuate the dark hall. I run down the dark tunnel.

I hear voices and heavy boots chasing after me down the hall. I run as fast as my injured leg allows. Turning with frantic desperation down one hall, then another. I don’t know or care where the corridors lead as long as they lead to somewhere else.

Through the flashes of red, I see inside the cells, each holding a different body. Each one is in a different state of construction. Some lay limp on benches with no limbs. Others hang from the ceiling like life-sized marionettes with their chest open. Some pound on the windows and beg for help as I pass. Others curl in the corner of their cells, not knowing what to do.

They’re children and adults. Boys and girls. Men and women. I pay no attention to them; all my focus is on my escape. Then I see him. With a sheet around his waist and his dark hair reaching just past his ears. He looks as handsome as the day he proposed to me.

“James!” I shout, pressing against the glass wall of his cell. He looks at me, confused. “James, it's me.”

“Get me out of here. Please, lady!” He yells after a moment’s hesitation.

“James, I’m not some lady. It's me. It's Mel, I’m your Mel.” I start to cry as I scream to James through the glass. I can hear the boots getting closer. “I’ll get you out, don’t worry, honey; I’ll get you out. There has to be some way to open this door.”

I hear a voice scream, “Shock! Shock! Shock!” Everything goes black.

The room is unfamiliar. I don’t know how I got here. The last thing I remember is… is… I don’t remember anything.