Until the End

"What did I tell you two about playing rough?" I question for the millionth time.

"Sorry dad, we forget when we play.” Layne apologizes first.

"Yeah daddy. Sorry, I keep forgetting." Lacey follows after her brother.

"I know princess, but you need to remember for Lay." I remind my daughter.

I'm aware I can't blame her for forgetting, she just turned 5. Then again, I tend to forget about my son's condition as well.

"It's all fun and games until your brother's arm falls out of his socket.” I let out with a sigh.

With a shrug I grab the roll of duct tape and take hold of my son's dismembered limb. Obviously this wasn't normal, but it became our new normal.

A few years ago there was a disease outbreak and the only outcome was death. Sadly, it wasn't a peaceful death. Some died then came back to life without sanity and an insatiable hunger for living flesh. The world practically fell apart because of the zombie apocalypse. Then there were zombies who had decaying bodies, but their sanity still intact. These sane zombies mentally believe they are living human beings though their body continues to breakdown.

Unfortunately, my family encountered both types of living dead. My wife was the first to get sick, since it was infections those who were diagnosed were placed in quarantine. We were visiting her one day when she collapsed during our conversation. I helplessly watched through the glass as Janine seized on the floor. When they couldn't help her I was forced to witness the life slowly drain from her beautiful eyes. While they were collecting her body, it shot up in revival and instantly tackled one of personnel. I still hear the screams of the man as Janine’s teeth tore into him. His pleas for help and mercy stuck in my head before he finally went silent.

After that development the quarantine facilities became restricted sites as they tried to develop a cure. Without any luck many scientists gave up or were unfortunately attacked by the mindless who were not detained. Then my son Layne caught the disease without realizing it, an asymptomatic case. Yet again, I had to watch someone I treasured convulse until their death. Once there was no longer light in his wide eyes I knew I didn't have long for me and Lacey to leave safely. As we were about to leave, I heard Layne groan and call out for me.

"Dad?" He muttered. "What happened?"

At first I thought my son wasn't dead. He was still mentally sane and could still verbally communicate. When Janine died she couldn't make other noises but snarling and hissing. I was still able to talk to my son like the event never happened. Then his body began to rot. Lacey couldn't stand the stench as it grew stronger, but he was still my son and I promised him I would take care of him until the end.

We eventually found others with similar circumstances who had a little community set up a few cities away from home. It took years to get accustomed to our new lifestyle, but we managed. Now we have a semi peaceful life in a mindful compound for those who didn't lose their sanity after death. There are dozens of "mindfuls" – what we normally call them – in our compound along with their surviving families just like us. We all help each other out as we can, like a make shift family surviving against all odds.

When Layne passes me his arm, I can see the thick layer of duck tape stuck to his rotting flesh. It's dangerous to peel the tape off of his skin since the weak tissue has little to no strength to resist the pull. Now the trick is to only apply tape onto the parts of flesh already covered. Even Lacey remembers that.

"Sorry Lay." Lacey apologizes to her brother.

" It's okay, Lace." Layne reassures her. "I can't feel pain anymore, silly. No harm done.”

"I still feel bad, Lay. I'll be more careful.” Lacey promises.

It's at times like this when I feel bad for my children. Needing to grow up so fast instead of enjoying life. I watch as Lacey hugs her older brother perfectly accustomed to his intense odor and decaying flesh. A lot of kids her age are normally too grossed out to touch mindfuls but Lacey is the complete opposite. Layne's death can't stop me or Lacey from loving him, grimy skin and all.

"Your gonna get dead flesh on you." Layne warns Lacey.

"I don't care." She bluntly admits.

"You'll stink like death." Layne tries again.

"That means the mindless won't bother me if some come around." Lacey reminds him.

"Ugh. Why do you have to be so smart?" Layne groans.

"So I can help, Daddy take care of you.” Lacey tells him with triumphant smirk.

Layne's dead skins pulls around his face as he gives her a tiny smile.

"Why don't you play with the other kids while I put your brother back together?” I suggest to Lacey.

"You sure you don't need help, Daddy?" She questions.

"Who do you think I am princess?” I ask as I feign hurt. "Your daddy has gotten quite good at reassembling the puzzle that is your brother.”

My joking makes her giggle, one of the sweetest sounds really. With a final hug for Layne and I, Lacey is off to play with other living children in the compound. As I focus on reattaching Layne's arms, I notice his change in mood. My boy may not be able to physically feel anymore but his emotional connection is still intact. Layne has always been an open book since he first opened his eyes, his new condition doesn't change that, especially to me. 

"Want to talk about it?" I offer.

Layne sighs but doesn't reply. I leave him in his silence even after his arm is taped back on. It always took time for Layne to speak his mind about sensitive things, Janine and I had to learn to be patient with him.

" Do you think ...” He starts. " Do you think she'll be really sad when I fall apart for good?" He finally asks.

I had a feeling he was thinking about that. According to observations of other mindfuls, we now know that the decaying process eventually comes to an end when all the flesh melts away and their brain finally dies. Then they fall apart into a pile of bones. It's a sad thing to go through but that is my son's fate and leaving us scares him the most.

"We'll both be sad, Layne." I tell him. "But we were very lucky to get to spend a little more time with you, it is a gift.”

"But what about you and Lacey?" He asks.

"Like I tell you every time you ask me, we will keep you in our hearts just like we do with your mom and never stop loving you," I assure my son.

He falls silent again most likely attempting to accept his fate. I don't know if he will be able to come to terms with what is to come, hell I haven't even accepted it yet. However, I do have to stay strong for all of us, I know that and I will. Until his last moments.