My Bad

               My Bad

Suzanne Marsh

“Can I help you sir?” Five simple words but I have no idea how to answer:

“Yes, I need a bouquet of flowers for my wife as an apology.”

That sentence was my way of asking will flowers be adequate, considering the battle I just had with my wife. Marriage is not an easy thing and somehow, I just complicated it. How did I get into this situation. It wasn’t easy I assure you. My wife Meg and I have been married for ten years; sometimes it feels like ten thousand years. Things have always seemed unsettled when we have had arguments but this one was my bad.

The argument began when I decided I was going to purchase a 2012 Rolls-Royce Phantom Drop Head Coupe. It was gorgeous and love at first sight when I saw it on the web. It was black with a luxurious white interior. A 6.75-liter V12 engine, wheelbase 130 inches, six speed. I had not been in love like this since I first met my wife five years ago. I had to have it, there was no other alternative. The grand some total of our savings account would cover part of the $128,000 the rest I put on several credit cards. With great anticipation I drove it home, I wanted to share this beauty with my wife. Meg, has always been understanding, sweet, anything I wanted she would make sure I had it, until today. I pulled into the driveway with my beautiful car, it was gorgeous both interior and exterior, as I have said. The seats were plush, and white like the day it came out of the factory. Then of course there is the fact that the Rolls Royce is hand made with mostly aluminum, it is a real dream to drive. I was so pleased with my purchase.

She watched as I pulled the car in the driveway, I saw her peering from the window. Her light brown hair shimmering almost golden, her lovely face unsmiling. I knew I was in trouble I just had no idea how much until:

“Where is my Mini Cooper Chuck?” Her voice hard and cold.

“I traded it in for this beauty.”

“YOU DID WHAT?”

This was not going according to the way I thought it would go. I thought she would be happy with the Rolls, after all, not many people have ever even ridden in a Rolls much less driven one. That was my thinking before her eyes got huge, and she turned a shade of crimson, I had never seen before.

“You, take that damn thing back from where ever it came from. I want my Mini Cooper back.”

“Honey, I can’t do that. I used our savings and put the rest on three visas and two master cards.”

The incredulous look on her face told me this was going to be an argument that would go down in the historic annals as the fight of the century. I was not too far off. She began to pace the room:

“I thought we agreed not to touch the savings, how much was that damn thing?”

I swallowed hard and barely above a whisper announced;

“One hundred and twenty-eight thousand dollars.”

I think if looks could have killed, I would have been dead on the spot:

“One hundred and twenty-eight thousand dollars????? You are insane!!!!”

This simply was not going well as I had planned:

“You take it back, get our money back or else find yourself somewhere else to live.”

That was hitting below the belt:

“I can’t take it back; the sale is final. Come on at least let me take you for a ride in

real luxury.”

“I don’t want to go for a ride, I want my Mini Cooper and the money put back in our account.”

I attempted to make her see that this was a good investment:

“Honey, Meg, this car is our future, it has great trade in value, it is in mint condition.”

“I don’t care either you get my Mini Cooper back or you are going to find yourself

in divorce court. Do you understand me?”

I understood all right but I had no idea how to fix this mess I seemed to have created. I really could not take it back, since the gentleman I bought it from had vanished right after he sold it to me. I suppose I could have called the police when I got home, but with her yelling at me; the thought was gone before it even surfaced. I was not sorry that I had purchased the car however, I was sorry I had not discussed it with Meg first. Somehow, I was going to have to get myself out of the doghouse; she meant what she said. I did not want a divorce, for all our arguments I love my wife dearly. How was I going to make amends? I had no idea, and really no inclination to do so.

“Meg, I am sorry, but this was a once in a lifetime deal.”

She was now crying, tears were even worse than anger:

“Honey, I really am sorry.”

“Sorry, is not going to return my Mini Cooper nor is it going change my mind. I think I

want a divorce.”

“Megan Louise how can you say that?

“Simply Charles Andrew, I want a divorce. You never even asked me what I thought, you

did not consider the price or how we are going to pay for it. Impulsive buying is something

you do in your twenties not your fifties.”

This was getting me nowhere in a hurry, I tried apologizing:

“Meg, I am sorry, I guess I wasn’t thinking.”

“Chuck, you never think about consequences until it is to late.”

I stormed out the door, that last remark hurt my feelings. I drove the Rolls to the closest flower shop. The woman, took one look at my face:

“Sir, whatever you have done flowers are not going to help matters.”

I asked her how she knew I had an argument with my wife:

“I have been a florist for a good number of years, you are not the first husband to come in here

wanting to buy flowers for screwing things up. Did you try apologizing?”

“Yes, she wants a divorce, if you don’t mind my asking what exactly you did?”

“I bought a Rolls without asking or telling her.”

“I won’t pry any further. If I were you and I am not, I would go home, with two dozen

red roses, another apology on my lips and I would beg her forgiveness.”

I was not sure I wanted to do that but I knew I had to. She handed me a bill for over five hundred dollars for the roses. It was my bad, but after I am the one who makes the most money, I should be allowed to purchase what I want. Guess, that is the end of my story and I a sticking to it.”