The Catch

“So, what’s the catch, Mom?”

Marilyn hated Adam’s incessant disputing everything she said. ‘Six years old, and such an attitude.’ Giving birth was the easy part. She gained no status from that task.

Adam kept her playing catch up. Always one, no, ten steps behind. How did he get so smart? Though glad of that, his sharp tongue exhausted her. To Adam, she could do no right. Before he could talk was really hell.

“It’ll be fun. You’ll see your friends. And make new ones.” She knelt beside him. “You’ll learn new things… reading, writing. Your world will open…”

Tapping his fingers, Adam listened impatiently.

“But the catch, Mom. It sounds great. But there’s always a catch. Answer me.”

He waved her away and refocused on his TV show. A character said, ‘He’ll never know what hit him.’

What Adam knew about school sounded awful. He’d heard older kids talk. But still… He lacked words, but Marilyn read his dour expression.

She felt helpless to answer his question. A rite of passage, all children passed through first grade. An education opens the world. He can’t miss it. But how could she explain it to a precocious six-year-old?

“I’m fine, Mom, just as I am. I want to run. Play. And feel the wind. To embrace the world. Carpe diem, Mom. You know? I’ll pass on boring old school.”

‘Carpe diem? Where does he learn this stuff?’

“I don’t want to stand in lines unless it’s Disneyland.  Why get yacked at by some sourpuss grandma?

Marilyn felt her blood pressure surge. “Adam, everyone goes to school. It’s what kids do.”

“I see. And if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you tell me to do that?”

‘How many times has he thrown that back at me?’

Adam said, “What about child labor laws? Long days filled with homework. The lunches suck. I want to be free, Mom.”

‘What monster have I created?’

“There are basic things you need, Adam. Everyone needs them. There’s so much to learn…”

“I get everything I need from my smart phone.”

“You have to be able to read.”

“Reading? Oh boy! Fill my head with threadbare ideas, echoed by thousands of eggheads, over centuries. I’ll think my own thoughts, if you don’t mind.”

Marilyn found herself nodding and caught herself. ‘Where does he get this?’

“I know… Mom, you could homeschool me!”

“You need a teacher. Someone smarter than you.”

Adam laughed. “But why give up all my fun?”

“Trust me. It’ll be great. You’ll love it. You are going.”

Adam realized he was losing ground. “How long does school last?”

“About six hours per day, five days a week. With several weeks’ vacation through the year.”

“I get that. But a year? Two?”

“Twelve.”

Adam screamed and fell over.

“Mom! I’m six. You mean for two whole lifetimes I’m condemned to this grind?”

“That’s the catch. Now get dressed. We need to shop for school clothes and supplies.”

“I’ll go like this.”

“No. No PJs in school.”

“They’re comfortable…”

 “Adam, the kids’ll make fun of you.”

“Mom, why would you send me where I can get ridiculed?”

~

She drove them to the local outlet store, in silence. Marilyn selected two pairs of dress pants and five shirts for Adam. He followed her about the store putting on his best sulk. She held up several back packs. Adam rejected each in turn. He wouldn’t speak or choose. When she placed one in the cart, Adam clutched the one with Spider Man on it.

In the school supplies section, Marilyn put six spiral notebooks, a binder, crayons, a pencil case, pencils, a sharpener, and an eraser into the cart. Like a condemned man, Adam shuffled behind, hanging his head.

As they walked to the car, Marilyn said, “Thanks for your patience, Honey. You’re set for the big day.”

Adam kept his anxiety to himself.

He ate dinner in silence. She let him watch TV but tucked him into bed early.

“Ready for your big, first day tomorrow?”

Adam turned away and mumbled, “G’nite, Mom.”

~

Marilyn awakened Adam early. He didn’t complain. He ate his favorite cereal. She laid out his clothes for the day and checked that his pack had all his new supplies.

Marilyn had never seen Adam so dispirited. He always commented on everything. At the student drop-off, she posed him for a picture. He wouldn’t smile. She hugged him.

“Have fun, kiddo. Learn lots!”

He dutifully walked up the sidewalk. A staff member directed him to the group of other first graders.

Inside, the commotion surprised Adam. Kids ran and shouted in chaotic abandon. Lockers banged. The staff woman led the newbies to Administration. One by one, she confirmed their classroom assignments. He hurried to class. The school bell rang loud and long.

Adam’s teacher, Ms. Rivers, stood before the class. Not the granny type he expected, Adam guessed she was about his mother’s age.

“Students, listen up. I’ll assign your permanent desks during roll. When I call your name, respond by saying ‘Present!’ I’ll direct you to your desk.”

The kids sat randomly and most quieted as Ms. Rivers called roll. Three boys near the window giggled until one saw Ms. Rivers’ severe look. He signaled the others and they settled.

Adam saw a kid from his neighborhood. They nodded.

Hearing his name, Adam stood and responded. Ms. Rivers directed him to the front, corner desk. He looked about the room. Behind the desks, stood three large, round tables. A container filled with colored pencils sat on each one. Shelves of books and art supplies lined the walls. Colorful posters with cartoon animals, letters and symbols brightened the room. A mobile drifted in the back corner. Adam blew toward it without effect.

Adam noted Ms. Rivers had seated boys and girls in alternate desks.

Ms. Rivers made introductory remarks about too many topics for Adam to grasp. She seemed nice enough, but was businesslike, efficient and impatient with disruptions.

Other students gazed out the window, doodled or stared into space. They looked like he felt. ‘Isn’t this the first day of school? Why am I the only clueless one?’ He wasn’t bored. But he had no handle on his purpose.

The girl sitting at the next desk had it down. Ms. Rivers had called her ‘Laurel.’ She’d placed a sharpened pencil and eraser ‘just so’ in the desk’s upper right corner. Everything else, she’d stowed inside her desk within moments of sitting. She focused on their teacher and seemed to follow what she said.

Ms. Rivers directed the class to the art tables. She distributed photocopied drawings of a horse in a circus ring with a woman in a tutu balanced on the horse’s back.

“Class, color the picture I provided. Use the colored pencils from the container on the table. Please share. Feel free to be creative. Begin.”

The kids scrambled for the pencils. Adam got three. He furiously filled the page with overlapping colors.

Leaning over from her chair, Laurel said, “You’re ruining it, Adam. Doing it all wrong. Don’t you know how to color inside the lines?”

Stopping, he glanced at her drawing and felt clueless. First assignment and he’d already failed.

Adam had met someone whose approval he could strive for.

He said, “Ms. Rivers said to be creative. I didn’t know we were doing paint by numbers.”

Laurel made a face and returned to coloring her picture.

Adam touched her arm. She looked up impatiently. She’d never seen his look before.

~

Years later, at their reunion, Adam laughed at their long-standing riff, “Of course you couldn’t read my expression. You didn’t know how to read yet. I admired you.”

Laurel rolled her eyes. “No way. You admired my browbeating you? At six?”

~

Sitting at the art table, Adam asked her, “Can you help me?”

“What?”

“How do I fix this?”

Laurel sighed and leaned in. She picked up the red pencil.

“It’s kind of a mess. But if you…”

On a whim, Adam kissed Laurel’s cheek. She pulled away and slapped him. She glared and went back to her drawing. Adam touched his cheek.

Only a boy sitting opposite them noticed their exchange. He whispered to his neighbor and pointed. They giggled. Soon, the whole class was pointing and laughing at Adam.

His shrug triggered a fresh wave of hilarity. Ms. Rivers approached and glowered. The students quickly returned to their work. An occasional, muffled titter sounded. But the outburst had been quelled.

Lunchtime arrived. The kids poured onto the playground running and screaming with abandon. Adam leaned on the school wall, eating alone. He wondered how he could escape and never return.

The bell rang and the older students went in. First graders were told to stay behind for a special event.

A hook and ladder fire truck pulled up outside the chain link fence. The kids ran to see the gleaming red vehicle. Adam stayed by the wall. Five uniformed firemen descended from the truck. They walked through the gate and stood at attention. Two of them carried a bulging duffle bag.

The kids sat on the grass and waited. The leader of the fire brigade stepped forward. He introduced himself as Capt. Ken and gave a brief talk on fire safety. Two firemen emptied the duffel bag by pouring packets of fresh caramel corn onto the grass.

The kids cheered. Teachers had them line up to receive their snacks in an orderly fashion. 

Adam watched from a distance and then turned his attention to a bug on the ground.

The playground grew quiet while the kids snacked. The firemen climbed into their truck and rumbled off.

A pair of girl’s shoes entered Adam’s field of vision. He looked up to see Laurel holding out an unopened pack of caramel corn. She smiled at him.

“Here…”

He couldn’t believe it. “For me?”

Laurel nodded. He took it and ripped it open.

“Thanks!”

Laurel said, “Mind if I sit?”

Adam mumbled something through a mouthful of popcorn. He patted the grass and slid over a little. Laurel sat against the wall. She smoothed her dress.

She said, “I hear we have twelve years of this.” Adam nodded. “Might as well get along…”

Adam nodded. He offered his hand to shake.

“Deal! I’m Adam.”

She said, “I know. I sit next to you. I’m Laurel.”

They shook hands.

~

When Marilyn picked Adam up after school, he clambered in and fastened his safety belt. He didn’t speak.

Marilyn said, “How was your day?”

“Okay.”

“You like your teacher?”

“…Guess so.”

“What did you learn?”

“Nothing.”

“Make lots of friends?”

“Uh huh.”

Marilyn noticed the change in Adam, transformed after one day of school. Regardless the cause, she could tell she now had a son and not a boss. She had been right. The ‘catch’ was for the good.