I'll Think I'll Keep My Old Car

“Oh I love it Margie but how could you afford a car like that?” I was happy for my friend but a bit envious at the same time. I looked across the road at my ten year old Datsun, a big dent in the side of the door where someone had rammed into me in the local shopping centre, without even leaving a note or a phone number. I had asked the manager of the supermarket if we could look at the CCTV camera, but of course it was broken, so with no witnesses, that was the end of it.

Of course I couldn’t afford to have it fixed, not on my wage. My brother had said that he would see what he could do when he had time, but my sister in law was still waiting for her bedroom to be painted where the water had leaked into the roof, and that happened nearly two years ago, so what chance did I have?

“Just saved up for it” Margie said looking a little sheepish.

“Waitressing must pay well” I said to her laughing “is it the tips?”

“Come for a spin – we’ll put the roof down and pretend we’re driving along the highway to Las Vegas or somewhere”.

Oh it was wonderful sitting on the leather seats, our hair blowing out behind us, radio blaring. I looked at the dash board of buttons and dials and wondered if I could ever fathom it all out!

We drove along the coast road but not for long as I had my student to tutor at five o’clock. I enjoyed doing it, but today I wished I earned enough money with just teaching to be able to do some of the fun things in life without stressing about paying for them!

We got back to the school I taught at and I hopped out of Margie’s luxury automobile and into my basic car. “Thanks” I called to her as I took off, racing to get home on time. “See you later on”.

The unit I lived in was clean and tidy but old. I had rented it for eighteen months now and fortunately for me the landlord had only put the rent up once in that time. It was still a lot of money each fortnight and I don’t know what I would do if he did decide to charge me more, but for the time being I was safe.

How could I ever afford to buy a place of my own? I did think that renting was a bit of a waste of my money but was grateful that this place was comfortable and close to my work. The tutoring I did a couple of times a week was a good supplement and enabled me to have an occasional social life – of sorts!

I was meeting Margie and a couple of other girls at a bar in town and was looking forward to it. Friday night was always something to look forward to, one or two drinks and a sleep in the next morning.

The other two girls were teachers like me. Lily’s fiancé Phil was the Principal at the school. He had been married before and was quite a bit older than Lily. They were getting married in two weeks’ time. We’d been friends for a long time, and the other two since I’d been at the school, almost six years now.

Lily and Joanne hadn’t seen the new car so were ‘oohing and aahing’ over it as I pulled in and parked. “How can you afford that?” Lily asked, wide eyed.

“That’s what I said and asked how big the tips at the restaurant were? Maybe she has a sugar daddy that she hasn’t told us about” and we all laughed as we walked in to the bar.

The conversation turned to holidays and Margie dropped the bombshell that she was going to Europe at the end of the year.

“It’s for six weeks but I’ll be covering so many countries” she gushed. “Would anyone like to join me? There are still places on the tour. Maybe not you Lily – you’ll still be on your honeymoon!”

“Are you kidding? I’d have to save up for at least three years before I could consider coming – AND- that wouldn’t include spending money”. I moaned.

This time it was Lily who spoke “The only holidays we can have at the moment are a weekend down South and that costs enough. I’m still saving to pay off my university debt. The wedding is costing an arm and a leg too, and if we had generous parents it would be ok, but they aren’t, especially Phil’s parents….so tight! So lucky you Margie”.

Joanne was in a different situation to us others. Her mother and father had both been killed in a car accident five years ago. Being an only child, everything was left to her, on the condition that it was put into trust until she was twenty four. Last year she had been handed the keys to the bank account. No one knew how much she had been left and we didn’t really want to know but let’s put it this way…Joanne would never have to worry about where the next meal was coming from!

I had started running early each morning except on a Saturday and Sunday when I went a bit later after my sleep in. I was desperate to fit into the blue dress that had been sitting in my wardrobe since the last wedding I had been invited to. I loved the dress and had worn it at my cousins wedding, but that was over two years ago and I had put a bit of weight on since then!

As I rounded the corner I almost ran into a tall blonde girl who was checking her phone. I hadn’t realised it was Margie until she was almost upon me, so before she looked up I said “Hey watch where you’re going”.

“Oh sorry” she apologised as she glanced upwards. “Oh it’s only you! I am not sorry” and we both laughed.

“Oh I needed to have a break” I told her puffing like an old train. So we stopped on the side of the path to chat, me telling her the reason I was running.

“Get a new dress and stop torturing yourself” she told me.

“I can’t afford it – it’s not in the budget. I suppose you’re buying a new outfit for it? How do you do it Margie?”

Margie went silent and had a slight frown on her brow as if she was thinking about something she wasn’t sure if she should say or not. She was looking at her friend and said “I can buy all of these things Lou because I have a second job”.

“Since when?” her friend asked, quite surprised that she didn’t already know.

“Well I’ve had it for two years now and before you get all agitated because I didn’t tell you, or anyone for that matter, it’s because it’s a ‘different” job and I’m not sure you would understand”

“What? Tell me what your job is Margie. Or are you a hired hitman!” said Lou laughing at her own joke.

“Definitely not! But I’m still not sure about telling you”.

“Well you have to tell me now – you can’t tell me you have a job, be all secretive and then not say what it is”.

“A hostess”…

“What do you mean a ‘hostess’ – where, and what do you do?” asked Lou, her interest really piqued now.

“Let’s sit down on that seat over there and I’ll tell you, but you must keep it to yourself, promise?”

“Yes of course – you know me – I never told anyone when you tried Botox did I? Not that I had to with the way your face looked. But I promise I won’t breathe a word”.

“Well” she began sheepishly “It’s at the Leo Men’s Club”.

On hearing this her mouth fell open, her silence a sign of her shock. After a few deep breaths she began with “I can’t believe that you would be working at THAT club”.

“It’s not what you think Lou. Honestly, all I do is act as a hostess. I sit and talk to the ‘gentlemen’, I get them drinks, pretend that their conversation is interesting and their jokes funny, walk around making sure that the clients are happy with their meals, drinks….

“Really, that’s ALL you do? Tell me honestly Margie. I thought there might have been more to it than that? “.

“Of course not! I mean there is usually a band playing during the evening and we have to dance with whoever asks us – that in itself is sometimes not pleasant – dancing with a stranger, beery breath and sweaty hands, but it’s not always like that, some of the men are just lonely and want a bit of female company”.

“Is the place sleazy?” Lou asked, enthralled now at hearing what Margie did to make extra money.

“No! – I wouldn’t work there if it was” a slightly indignant Margie replied.

“We are all treated with respect and it’s a ‘hands off’ policy with all the hostesses working there. Whichever area you work in, it’s a safe environment. It’s not just for lonely old men, they have three different room. One is solely for the bar, the restaurant and relaxing to the music of a grand piano being played by a professional player. The second room is where the band strikes up, so dancing and karaoke, and the third room is more of a party room – it has poker table, pool and snooker tables – this is where some men come in to hold their buck’s nights. The bar in there is massive and it also has open bbq’s with chefs to cook it”. The room gets so noisy especially as the night gets later”.

“Mmmm” was all Lou could think of to say, her mind ticking over. Then she asked “Which area do you work in Margie?

“All of them. We’re rotated. It’s better that way. You don’t get stuck with the same guys wanting you to dance or sing at the karaoke or sit listening to them. I prefer mixing it up”

“Have you ever seen anyone you know?”

Margie thought before answering the question “Well in two years I’ve only recognised one person

and that was one of my mum’s cousins but fortunately the last time we met was when I was eight. He wouldn’t have known me. I stayed away from him during the evening, just in case”.

She continued “I think because it’s nowhere near where we live and it is very expensive to become a member, there’s hardly any chance of anyone we know turning up. And really even if we did see someone, we’re adults, it’s a reputable club and we’re only here to make money, save, and then get out!

“Can you get me a job?” Lou blurted out to her friend.

“What? Get you a job at the club?”

“Well it doesn’t sound too bad really and I could do with the extra money. I always thought that Men’s Club was…well, you know…” Lou said pulling a face.

“Well I think I know what you mean but by the look on your face, you thought it was a torture chamber!” and they both found this funny.

Margie had said she would ask if there were any vacancies for Lou, although Lou made her swear on her Grandma’s grave that she wouldn’t tell a soul about it. “Why would I tell anyone? You’re the only person I’ve told in the two years I’ve been there”.

Lou was a little excited about earning extra money and doing something really different so was very happy when Margie rang up to tell her the good news. “I’ve got you in Lou – you’ll have to talk to Robert, who runs the club. You’ll like him. I’ll see you Friday night and you can tell me all about it”.

They met up at a local coffee shop. Margie was already waiting as Lou walked up to the table with a frown on her face and blurted out, “You didn’t tell me about the costume!”

“Ah yes! Well I knew you would find out at your meeting.” Margie replied with a slight grimace on her face. “It’s not too bad”.

“Not too bad! It’s ok for you Miss Slim, but I’ve got extra padding where I shouldn’t have and I’ll look awful in that thing. I hate showing off my legs. Now I’m not sure what to do. I need the money, but having to wear that sequined, fancy costume, I don’t know?”

“You’ve lost some weight from your running – you look great, honestly. Did you bring the costume home?”

“Yes, just to try it on in case I need to adjust it. I bet I do! It’ll need to be let out that’s for sure”.

Lou tried it on in front of Margie. It was a rather ‘snug’ fit but she was told “You look great. Anyway you should see some of the other girls in theirs!” and this was supposed to make her feel better!

Lou was squirming around in her glitzy ‘leotard’ as she called it and looking as she was feeling, uncomfortable! “Oh I feel such a fool in this – I know the beaded ropes hanging down around the bottom of the costume makes it’s less revealing on my backside but what about the top half? It’s too low for me. I can’t do THAT! And she pointed at her ample bosom bulging from the top of her costume. I’m going to have to sew it up a bit”. She pinned it together saying “I’ll stitch it later”.

“Does yours look like that at the top Margie?’ she asked.

“No, I’m not built like you are… I mean I’m a skinny old stick” she added, trying to sound kinder.

Lou half turned in front of the mirror to look at the back. I am so grateful that we wear stockings, look at my cellulite, ugh!”

She had two nights to go before her first night at the Men’s Club - her nerves were on edge at the thought of it – She was quite comfortable about the club itself but not about wearing the costume! It felt too tight and she was worried about passing out or something equally as ridiculous and embarrassing. “Oh stop thinking of the negatives” she chastised herself “The only thing you need to picture is how much will be in the bank”.

Friday was Lou’s first night at her new job and she felt some relief on seeing Margie. It went ok….she served lots of drinks, sat and chatted to a retired farmer about life on a dairy farm, afterwards making a mental note to never date a farmer, but the highlight of her evening was dancing with the title holder of ‘Best Ballroom Dancer” in his town, which was quite good as he taught her how to do waltz the correct way and with the wedding coming up in a week, it would come in handy!

The next night she was on the roster, and felt slightly more confident. As Lou was getting zipped up into her costume, she told herself that the more she wore it the loser it would become. ‘How did women wear those bone corsets all those centuries ago?”

“Can you go into the Party Room Lou – we’re expecting a group of guys for a Bucks Night – and the other girl went home sick”, she was asked.

Lou was a bit nervous about the Party Room. She wasn’t scared but knew that they drank a lot, shouted a lot, got really stupid as the night wore on and that wasn’t her thing. The noisy group came in, already having had a few drinks elsewhere.

She walked around taking orders for food and drinks. She smiled, talked, and wished she could go home and get out of the tight costume!

Then she saw him, Phil, the deputy principal of the school. She felt sick ‘Of course, his Buck’s Night’ she realised.

“I can’t let him see me. He’s my boss – what would he think. I might even lose my job’. She started sweating. ‘I’ve gotta get out of here’ and she quickly headed towards the door.

“”Scuse me, could I have a gin and tonic please?” drawled a man as she scurried past. She was feeling flustered – Phil was walking her way. Lou slid in behind a large leather sofa, a rather tight squeeze. As she bent over to hide a terrible sound erupted - the feel of cool air let her know that her costume had just ripped at the seat. She felt it with her hand. It was a long rip, widened by her bottom sticking out. She wanted to cry. Bobbing up she looked around and couldn’t see Phil.

There was a whole group of young men walking through the door so Lou thought this was the perfect time to escape. She slowly slid out from behind the couch and walking upright, one hand behind her, she smiled and tried to act normal. Then she heard the familiar voice of Phil somewhere close by and the only thing she could think of was to run. As she skidded past the door the high handle caught the front of her costume and pulled her backwards – the front of her costume ripped all the way down the front and she looked down at her ample bosom in her lacy bra fully exposed for all to see. “Ahhh” she cried as she held her one free hand to the front of her top and ran towards the front door, remembering her car keys in her locker on the way through.

On Monday life was back to normal. “Good Morning Phil”.

“Morning Lou – ahah?”