Miss, miss

"Miss, miss. Remember how you told us to come in today and try to repeat or write down a story that we heard or overheard? Well, I have one. May I?"

"Brandon, of course. Thank you for volunteering." The space in his front teeth made him look slightly like Opie, but he didn't have red hair. It was more like a dirty blonde.

"Okay, here goes nothing."

"Don't sweat it. We'll be in and out before anyone knows a stone is missing," Jay said.

"That's the point," Abe said.

"What? To make them think they're getting robbed." Deaques said.

"Yeah, and it begins near the stones and goes on from there like a wave, Jay said.

"By the time they ride out all those little waves, we'll be inside the gallery, and they'll be ushering us out."

The men recruited many college and university students, whose bank accounts will get deeper once they pull off their part of the big scam in the gallery. All they had to do was try to touch a painting or move something without touching anything.

Everyone is at the ready; the game's afoot.

Employees were being dispatched everywhere. Radio talk demands that cameramen leave their watches to apprehend citizens and remove them from the gallery with their swamped colleagues.

Once permission is granted, they move in on the stones and replace them with stones of the same weight, which look genuine but are worthless. It's the perfect crime.

Deaques saw them frisking everyone while he stood in line. He pulls the stones from his pocket and shoves them in his underpants around his penis. Everyone laughs and laughs at that, but later, much later.

"I swear, Miss. That's what he said he did." He held his hand like he was putting it on the Bible.

Deaques handed him his fake ID and gave him his phony license plate number, which all came back registered to the fake name on the license: George Crapper.

"Next."

"Yes, sir."

"Name and where do you live, son?"

"You mean it isn't on there? What's this world coming, too?"

"Don't get smart," he says as he looks at the ID, "George."

'Well, Mr. George Crapper, what brought you to the gallery tonight?"

"I came for the art. To enjoy the priceless art."

"Very well. Stand and spread 'em, Art Lover."

He found nothing. "George, you have a nice night now." He tipped his hat to Deaques.

'You, too. Sir. You, too," Deaques said.

"Next."

*

When the guys meet up again at Jay's, Deaques gives them the stones.

"Who's moving this stuff for us?" Deauqes said.

"We're not sure yet. We've got multiple interested parties, and we thought we'd hear them all out before we made a hasty decision."

"I need my share by next Thursday, so you better get it sold," Deaques said.

"Are you trying to bully me?" Jay said.

"Nah, nothing of the sort, prick."

"Who're you calling a prick?"

"The only one here who's one." He smiled and pointed at Jay.

"All right. Enough." Abe said. "Both of you bury the hatchet, or none of us will get anything."

"Right."

"Okay."

"I heard a lot about that movie—they're making it here in Paris, for instance. But the central scene is in Vienna. It's called 'A Heist.' There are three guys and some buyers. From what I heard, it's going to be a blockbuster hit. I'm just not sure who the leading actor is. Someone I've never heard of—some prick character? At first, I thought they meant Brad Pitt, but they said prick. Anyway, miss, that's what I overheard for the last four months."

"Oh, my. I think you should try to write down as much as you can about your story. As a matter of fact, in class, everyone should try to write down as much as possible about Brandon's story he just told. I'll be right back. Brandon's in charge.

She approached the office with trepidation. Her principal was a real hag who didn't like anything women did that was fun and happening. She took a deep breath, asked the secretary if she could speak with her, and then got the nod to go in.

Once inside, she remained professional and focused.

"Sorry to intrude. My students are doing a writing exercise, so I'll be brief. One of the students in my class described the stone theft in great detail to everyone this morning. He said it was supposed to be a big movie. He needs to speak to the gendarmerie."

"I'll get right on it. Thank you for bringing it to my attention."

"Great. Good day."

Returning to her room, she heard another child speaking about what she had heard on the weekend.

My mommy said, "You're drunk. You silly twat."

My daddy said, "Shut your pie hole, or I'll shut it for you. You stupid bitch."

"You can say what you want about me being ugly, but I'm not stupid, and I'm not your bitch."

"That's when everything went bloody, and then my daddy got taken away in an ambulance in a bag. My mommy was severely beaten up. I told them what I heard and saved my mommy's life."

"Okay, class. Let's break from what we've heard and write about what we want to hear in our perfect world."

"What if you ask for silence? Is that allowed, Miss?"

"Or safety? Can you ask to be safe, Miss?"

"Or for a decent night's sleep. What about that, Miss?"

"All those things are great to ask for, but in your perfect world, the other things that scare you and cause you to feel yucky are gone. Okay?"

"What if, Miss, I asked for parents who loved me? Is that okay? Do you know what it's like to live in a house where neither of your parents like you? And you've no idea why?"

"No, but I know that someone will love you one day or even now, and you don't even know it yet. When you find that person, just make sure you don't treat them the way you see your mom and dad treat each other or you."

"Thank you, Miss. I am glad you're my teacher."

"You're welcome to stay at my home whenever you want a safe place."