Choices

11 December 2012 Saturday 5:21 pm

John lay in bed at 56 years old he thought about all the things he had accomplished securing a well paying job, having children, getting promotions at work, solving problems for other people, spending time with family and friends,.... yet as he lay none of the things truly made him feel like he did something he thought about all the choices he had made through-out his lifetime yet somehow he never made them.

1956 3:36 am 12 May

John Anderson was born into a middle class family not poor but not rich his dad had a stable job which provided for John and his other sibling Stacey, John's parents were immigrants from third world countries and had lived most of their life in poverty, after finding a way to come to America they tried hard to stay they pinched pennies they lived in a rundown apartment for 2 years, afterwards John's father found a well paying stable job in a different city by that time john was about 6 years old as he started to grow up in a middle class house he started succumb to society's expectations on how to be and how to live, his mind was never truly his, it belonged to everyone but him John's mother Elaine and his father Davis were never truly involved they worked their hardest his mother was a massage therapist and his father worked as Office manager, he had basically grown up and learnt everything by himself, growing up John has immense talent in art and drama and attended as many free lectures as he could although his parents discouraged him from becoming an artist as it was "risky" as they put it, John listened he started working at 16 to earn extra income at a local shop where he earned 16 $/hr for 5 hours daily 5 days a week calculating to a total of 400$ a week he longed to use that money to attend courses but alas that money was stored for later use or bought groceries with at 24 John moved out of his parents house to attend medical school at the advise of his parents as it will "pay well" again he could not make a choice he completed medical school and he had gone through middle school, high school and college the same way not dull not brilliant just average in dead center of the class at 28 he became an intern at a laboratory in San Diego where he got a job as an assistant to the staff manager, within few years he got a promotion and another promotion in a few years he became head manager of the entire building which stayed till he was 55 and decided to retire he had gotten diagnosed with pancreatic cancer when he was 51 ever since then his life had changed,today on 11 December 2012 as he lay in the hospital he thought about all the time he had wasted listening to others thoughts disregarding his own , what if he wondered what if maybe i had gone into art school i had used the money to attend lectures and maybe i would have finally discovered myself his vision started to blur his eyes started getting heavy but his thoughts kept on going louder and louder in his head, his hands and feet started relaxing his breath started slowing and slowing but he felt the intense fire and anger he had never felt he felt as if he wanted to go back to his 21 year old self and slap him hard to go to art school instead to not think about what others would think his thoughts seemed his for the first time he tried to move his legs but failed his entire lower body felt as if it were out of his control the thoughts suddenly went away he felt stuck in a position that he got himself him then he got it , it struck his mind like a bolt of thunder society never judged him he judges himself as a form of lowering self confidence, nobody truly cared about him except his wife and children society was something he had made up as an excuse to keep himself low " I am the society, I judged others for doing thing I wanted to do as my friend enrolled in art school I often belittled them as I thought they'd never get a well paying job through art " this was his last thought as his chest froze,his eyes could not see anymore and his thoughts froze ..... John was gone.

1956 3:36 am 12 May

John Anderson was born into a middle class family his parents were immigrants from third world countries and lived in poverty most of their life they were not poor but not rich either they had just enough money to sustain a very stale lifestyle, John and his sister went to a public school , John saw the poverty and staleness of his life compared to the high end life styles he saw others live, he had a flame inside him that would not take a no for an answer as he grew older he found out he had immense talent in drama and art, his parents discouraged him from joining any art classes or looking at it as a viable form of profession but John never really payed them any attention as they were never really in his life they spent most of their time working, John understood that they had to work so much to provide for the family and loved them very much for it, but the flame in his heart had turned into a fire he had to get out of this staleness his life stunk of at age, at 13 John understood the only way he could ever be an artist was if had a high paying job as a backup plan, he started to focus more on academia and worked many jobs to make sure he could attend lectures and courses on art and drama, by 18 John had gotten selected into an art school of his dreams but he could never afford it so he had to take a student loan and get a scholarship he worked day and night on his art creation the fire he had was burning brighter than the fire around him he got the scholarship for 3/4th of his school fees for 2 years and the rest of the 2 years he would get 2/4th , John worked many jobs throughout his time in art school yet he loved the experience after getting a degree he went on to intern at a art museum there he got lots of experience and connections with people one particular man he met - Roscoe Pound who saw the intense passion John had and asked him to work for his company as an assistant to the art director without thinking twice John agreed he worked there for 3 years and people recognized his ability to make the most perfect themed rooms of art pieces and knowledge about every piece with a few years he got promoted to head art director, it was all he could ever dream of the perfect job with a high payment after working there for 15 years at the age of 38 he quit his job in the search of something more difficult he decided to form his own art company ~Anderson Art ~ after being founded on 19 August 1994 the company made art projects and museums across USA many people judged his company and thought it was "dumb" again John never listened he was dead set on making his company a success after working very very hard for 13 years in 2007 his company became globally known and was a huge hit estimating for about 1.5 billion USD, although when John was happiest in his life he got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer but that didn't change anything for him he had done what he had achieved he used to belong in the lower middle class family and now he is one of the richest men alive.

11 December 2012 Saturday 5:21 pm

John lay in his hospital bed as he thought about all he had done in life he thought about the start of his life to the current moment he felt calm he felt contented the fire in his heart had turned into a flame and was fading away he felt his vision blur, he felt his eyes getting heavy his mind was calm and clear he felt his hands and legs relax yet nothing in his mind the only thing he could think of was his achievements and he was happy with them he did not feel as if he lost time he never got married or had children but he did not regret that he felt contented and ready to go- this was the last thought John had before his chest froze and soul left .... John was gone

John Anderson may be a fictional character but he represents every person you maybe cannot change your situation but you can change your mindset by taking choices you feel positively about, choose the John you want to be ~

~ Maya