Dream Within A Dream

Content warning: This story contains themes of violence, historical trauma (slavery), and psychological horror

Penny, in her black frock coat and a copper ponytail dangling under her tricorn hat, sat in the bow of the Raven’s whaleboat as the crew rowed underneath the clipper’s bowsprit and raven figurehead and toward the foul-smelling brig motionless in the water ahead of her. Light from the bright full moon danced amid the rippling tidewater of the Chesapeake Bay.

Boarding pike in hand, she ducked as the crew tossed a boarding net over the vessel’s splintered rail. Penny climbed onto the net and flipped herself over the rail onto the deck.

“CAW! CAW! CAW!”

Penny froze and pivoted in the clipper’s direction. The wooden raven figurehead spread its black wings and its eyes glowed red. A dark laughter echoed inside her head. “All that you see or seem is but a dream within a dream.”

“Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump!” Her heart thundering in her ears and reverberating through the room. Penny threw the quilt off of her and swung her legs off the bed, planting her feet on the floor. She blinked and rubbed her eyes.

A faint rapping, an unceasing tapping, echoed from her chamber door. Sliding her feet into her slippers, a chill crawled across her arms, and her breath rose in puffy, frosty vapors. It shouldn’t be this cold. It’s only September.

Moonlight cascading through her window dissolved and evaporated into an enveloping darkness. An icy breath whispered in her ear. “Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.”

Pulling the quilt tight around her shoulders, Penny shuddered, padded toward the door and placed her ear against it. The incessant tapping pulled at her, grabbing her curiosity. Slowly. Carefully. She pushed the door open into a rolling fog of silvery mist, smelling of almonds and tasting of peppermint.

To the right, down the length of the corridor, a raven waited, tapping on another door, dim light engulfing the bird in shadow. Glowing red magnets, the bird’s eyes drew Penny through the mist toward it, beckoning her to follow, her legs feeling heavier with each step.

The raven disappeared through the closed door and tapping on it from the other side. Penny grasped the doorknob and recoiled as it glowed in a pale blue light. Her angst faded as a warmth encased her elbow. When her fingertips touched the door, it flew open, swinging inward against its hinges. Her breath left her.

The rolling mist turned as blue as the door, and the aroma of almonds faded. The raven’s red eyes glowed brightly through the mist, pulling Penny into the room, her heart still thumping against her chest loud enough for her to hear it.

Thunder claps swung Penny around toward the now closed door, sending a chilling crawling up her spine. The stale air tasted foul and the putrid stench of human waste and urine filled the room. An icy breath again whispered in her ear. “Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”

Clinking and clanking of chains drew her attention to pitiful moans of tortured souls bound by them. I’m on the slave ship! No! No dear God! Not again! No! We got them out of there! Didn’t we?!

She stepped through the waves of blue mist toward the moans. Dark faces of enslaved came into her view, some pleading, some defiant, and some praying. Heavy chains, iron clamps, and rusty padlocks allowed no movement. Feces and urine puddled underneath. The floor tilted this way and that, relentlessly sloshing the puddles together and apart.

Penny screamed, but it only echoed inside her head. A flurry of thoughts followed. No! Not here again! Damn! She spun herself around and quickly realized the rattling chains bound black men, women, and children against the walls. Why are they in chains again? Why?

Penny stumbled and staggard amongst them, the encasing warmth around her elbow keeping her upright. The blue mist thinned, revealing a young woman with a copper-haired ponytail under a black tricorn hat with silver edging and clutching a boarding pike in her hands.

Penny watched a small, quick shadow dart across the feet of the girl with the ponytail. In one motion, the girl whirled around and stabbed the shadow with the pike and leaving the skewered and lifeless body of a rat amidst the dancing shadows.

Penny recoiled. Her eyes shot wide open, and both hands covered her mouth. That girl is me! Why am I living through this again?!

Dark laughter spun her attention back toward the raven, but the bird flew away., leaving only a twisted shadow in the swirling mist. “The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls.”

Penny’s eyes darted around the room. Who are you?

Dark whispers reached her ear. “There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told and known only to the master of the macabre.” Another dark laugh and the shadow evaporated into the blue mist.

Shaking, Penny put a hand against a wall to steady herself. When she pulled it away, her knees wobbled as feces dripped from her hand. She pushed air hard over her larynx, trying to scream. No sound escaped her lips.

The red eyes of the raven glowed again, tapping on another door. A warmth wrapped her elbow, steadying her body, easing her mind, and steeling her nerve.

She stepped forward, and the raven flew through the closed door, tapping it from the other side. The door glowed a soft violet, and she gave it a slight push. It easily swung open into a room roiling with purple mist. Penny froze. I don’t want to go in.

The warmth around her elbow now encompassed her entire arm. Penny felt a soft warm breeze upon her ear. A female voice called to her. “In life, we face many trials and tribulations, but it is through our darkest moments that we find the light within ourselves.”

Penny breathed deeply and exhaled. I trust you. She entered the room.

This time, the door closed behind her slowly, latching softly. She heard the voice once more. “Your struggles do not define you; your strength does. Find the light within you.”

Purple mist floated around a single candle, seemingly in the distance. Vile sweat and sulfur stung Penny’s eyes, nose, and mouth. She closed her eyes, clenched her fist, and lay her other hand over the warmth encasing her arm. My legs feel like they’re made of lead.

Looking down at the floor, Penny slowly opened her eyes and found many others looking forlornly at hers, iron collars around their necks. Footfalls caught her attention. She watched herself, in the frock coat and hat, walk past her into the room.

Again, dark whispers entered Penny’s ear. “Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.”

A man, grotesque and fat, leaped upon the vision of her other self, tackling her to the floor, tearing at her clothes, skin, and hair. Paralyzed, Penny could only watch herself struggle under the fat man and pull a pistol from the man’s belt. She pulled the hammer back, pushed the barrel against his head, and pulled the trigger.

With a roar, blood, bone, and gore exploded across the room, splattering everything and everyone in it.

Penny screamed and watched the vision of herself, face covered in the splatter, roll the dead man’s body off her and stagger to her feet, the smoking pistol still in her hand. Blood dripping from her nose and chin, she set about freeing those in chains. Holy God! I remember it all now.

With the last lock broken, the vison faded in the purple mist. Only the lone candle remained. Shaking, Penny slid a foot forward and blew a lung full of air out of her mouth. She could move again,

The gentle voice brushed warm comfort against her ear. “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle. Within you lies the power to overcome the shadows and embrace the light.”

Penny’s head whipped around, but saw no one. But the warmth engulfed her entire body. The purple mist evaporated and the opposite door glowed a bright orange. Instead of a raven, an osprey with beaming golden eyes perched on the door ledge.

Looking up at the regal bird, she heard the familiar warm whisper in her ear. “Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the willingness to face it. Do not be afraid to ask for help. God’s love is manifest through those who reach out to support and uplift.”

Penny smiled and pushed the door open to bright sunlight and a cloudless blue sky. She walked out onto the vessel’s main deck with the osprey riding in the breeze above. Around her, the refugees she released from chains were being cleansed by her friends and given white linen garments to replace the foul seed sacks that previously clothed them.

Once cleansed, they walked toward a gangway. Penny followed them to the rail and watched they took their first steps on the green grass of a cove. A short distance away sat a simple building with people gathered around, tending to every need of the new arrivals under the shade of a giant oak tree. The familiar warmth completely enveloped Penny and compelled her to look beneath the oak tree.

A gold mist swirled down from the lowest branch. Rubbing her eyes, Penny watched the mist form into a beautiful young woman, the same age as she, wearing a regal white dress with a green cloak about her shoulders, a gold tiara on her head of flowing red hair, and a lily in her hands.

Her blue eyes lifted to meet Penny’s and smiled. The young woman’s lips didn’t move, but Penny heard the same warm voice. “In you, God has placed everything that is good. Trust in your journey.” The woman diffused back into the gold mist and evaporated.

No! Don’t leave yet! Penny darted toward the gangway and tried to run down it. But she ran into something and bounced off, falling to the deck. Damn! What?

She saw nothing in her way. Jumping to her feet, she ran toward the gangway again. Again, she bounced off and backward. But kept her feet, still seeing nothing. Get out of my way!

This time she backed up a few steps and took off, leading with her shoulder. She hit it at full speed.

She bounced off again. This time, she heard a male voice. “OOF!”

I said, get out of my way! Furious, she ran at it again, putting every ounce of strength into ramming whatever or whoever blocked her.

Again, she hit it. But did not bounce off this time. It trapped her. Her arms flailed, her fists punched, her legs kicked and her feet stomped.

A faint voice whispered in her ear. “Ouch! Penny!”

She ignored it and kept on flailing.

The male voice grew louder. “OOF! Penny! Stop!”

Penny felt her arms pushed to her sides and clamped there. She kicked and stomped. “Let me go! LET ME GO!”

“PENNY!”

Both of her feet left the floor. She squirmed and squiggled as hard as she could. “DAMMIT! LET ME GO!”

The male voice grew louder. “PENNY! STOP! WAKE UP!”

She ignored the words, but something about the voice made her stop flailing. “WHY SHOULD I!?”

“Because I love you.”

“You what?” Penny felt her body relax.

“I love you.”

Her brain seemed to sputter. “Why should I believe you?”

“Because I have the bruises to prove it.”

The embrace felt tighter but warmer. Her eyelids fluttered. But all she could see was a dim candle. She heard something in her head, the soft female voice again. “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.”

“Penny.” The male voice was softer now, and familiar. “What did you just say? Wake up, Honey.”

Soft fresh fragrance of lemon filtered through her nose and into her brain. Her mind felt like it was clearing. She breathed in the aroma again. The lemon blended with crisp lavender, warm and spicy cinnamon, and light minty sweetness into a gentle and familiar scent.

Her eyes fluttered open. “Jack?”

He smiled and set her down. “Welcome back from dreamland.”

She hugged and held onto him for several minutes as her senses returned and her feet touched the floor. “Oh, my lord, Jack! What have I done? And why are you in uniform?”

He chuckled. “You beat me up.” He put a finger to her lips. “It’s alright. You were sleepwalking.”

“Sleepwalking?” Penny cringed when she realized Jack had a black eye. “Oh, my word! Did I do that?”

Jack nodded. “Yeah, that’s from you.”

“Oh, Jack! I’m sorry!”

He scooped her up in his arms. “No apologies necessary. I couldn’t let you fall down the stairs.”

She peered over his shoulder as he carried her. “Goodness! Thank you!”

Jack laughed. “Oh. You’re going to thank me alright. But let me get you back to your bedroom first.” He carried her a few steps to her chamber door, pushed it open with his foot, and gently placed her on the foot of her bed.

Smiling warmly, he kissed her softly and sat down in the chair across from her and against the wall. His eyes searched hers. “What do you remember?”

Penny stared at him for a moment, then looked around the room and recoiled. “My word! My room looks like a storm hit it!”

Jack chuckled. “Yes, a storm named Penny.”

“Oh, dear!” She took another look around her bedchamber. Crumpled blankets, sheets, and pillows scattered all over the room. Open perfume bottles lay strewn and open on the floor, with tiny puddles around each one.

Penny put her head in her hands and lifted her eyes to Jack. “It was the strangest dream I’ve ever had. More like a dream within a dream.”