Helen's Big Date

Johnny ‘The Voice’ Best was one of the funniest guys on the planet. He had his own TV show at one time. He had his own online blog.  His tours were sold out and his recordings all went triple platinum.  He was extremely popular and on top of the world.

He had legions of fans, but probably none more devoted than Helen Trout. She was a introvert, always shunning the limelight and happy to be lost in the background. Once, she had won a prize at some dance that a friend had dragged her to and the winner almost passed out.

“I can’t claim that prize, why don’t you?” She told her friend.

Helen first discovered Johnny when a friend played the recording at a slumber party. While the other girls laughed, the young girl who would form a fan club that was known throughout the world was smitten.

Helen was twelve that fateful night and the next day she went out and bought everything she could find related to Johnny Best. She found out that his real name was Johnny Valencia, of Italian and Greek descent. He was born in Chicago, but had grown up in Detroit, Michigan. 

He was funny right out of the womb and made all the family laugh at gatherings. He won a talent show in middle school and someone made a tape of it. The tape was passed through hands and some talent scout called him up.

The next few months were a blur. He went from a fourteen year old nobody to one of the most promising comics in the country. Then, he started to really make a name for himself and had to decide between graduating from high school or becoming a full-time comedian.

When his agent got him a multi-million dollar deal, the decision became very simple. He went on tour and started to record his material. He appeared on different TV shows and it seemed overnight that he became a household name.

Helen loved him and started a fan club on line. There were already a couple of them, but she made hers different and better. Her website was so much greater than the others that they simply faded away.

Eventually, Johnny heard about the website and went on it. He sent her a personal message and the girl was over the moon. She was so tickled that she thought life could never get better.

Although, a shy girl and someone who didn’t like to be popular, she was thirteen years younger than Johnny. However, she wanted to be his wife.

She wrote it in her diary.

‘Someday, I will marry Johnny.’ It was followed with her name Helen Trout-Best.

It took Helen three years to actually contact him.

So, one day, after he had contacted him, she replied to his message and suggested a contest where the winner won the honour of going on a date with him.

She sold the idea to Johnny and it created a lot of excitement all over the globe. But, she had a plan. Helen had full intentions of winning the contest. It would fulfill a dream come true.

The contest ran for one month and was based on how people discovered Johnny. Although, a true introvert, Helen wasn’t about to lose out on having a date with her favourite person in the world.

She kept texting him while the contest was going on and put ideas in his head. He was very busy and just went along with things.  This included his approval who won the contest. When the winner was announced, a lot of people were not aware that it had been fixed.

Helen won and she was so excited that the girl’s heart almost exploded.

The date had already been agreed on.  

Helen had a friend, Angela who was a fashion plate.  

“Can you please take me and make me look like I belong to the upper crust of society? I will pay you.”

“Don’t be silly, Helen, I have no problem making you a makeover project.”

So, they left early one Saturday morning and went dress shopping. They stopped at the salon and she had her hair done. They went to a makeup artist and she did her makeup.  At the end of the day, the two were exhausted, but they had accomplished their mission.  

Helen looked beautiful.

“Thank you, Angela.”

“It was my pleasure.  You will look great for your date with Johnny.” She winked at Helen who almost turned then shades of red.

The big night approached and then it was there.

He sent a limousine to pick her up. She had never rode in a limo before. He hadn’t told her which restaurant, but the limo pulled up to the Chez Claude’s, the swankiest eatery in the city and the whole state of New York.  

A dashing young man escorted her out of the limo and down the path into the restaurant while everyone took pictures and the media was taking notes. Helen tried to smile as much as possible, but she was going crazy inside.

She arrived at his very private table and the escort walked away.

It took everything for Helen not to faint.  

He stood up and kissed her hand and she swooned and he caught her.

“You are a wonderful actress,” he whispered in his ear. The media went crazy. The photo spread through social media instantly and women around the world sighed and were incredibly jealous.

Eventually, the media went away and it was just the two of them.

She was shy and tried to remember her manners hoping that she wouldn’t drop something on her blouse or burp or get something stuck in her teeth.

“So, what do you do for a living?”

She smiled and looked at him funny.

“You’ve already asked me that question.”

“I did?”

He took another gulp from his drink. He didn’t look so great.

“Yes, don’t you remember the number of conversations we’ve had in the past?”

“We’ve talked to each other before tonight?”

“Yes, we have many times.”

“That’s great, maybe you should refresh my memory.”

She tried to smile. This was not going the way she thought it would.

“You must remember one or two things from our dozens of conversations?”

“Not really, cause like I have people talking to me all the time and it is impossible to keep everyone straight.”

“Oh, I see.”

“By the way, I really like the fainting thing. It was a nice touch.”

“That was real.”

“Sure, if you say so.”

“I’ve always loved your comedy.”

“Of course you have, after all I am absolutely brilliant. How could you not like my comedy?”

“That is a little arrogant don’t you think so?”

“Not really, it’s just the truth.”

She didn’t like that response.

“Now, the plan is that you finish your meal and then we walk out of here making out like teenagers.”

“Really?”

“Sure, it would be great for my image having a young girl hanging all over me.”

“Aren’t you going to eat your meal?”

“First of all, I wouldn’t eat this slop. Second of all, I ate before I came here.”

“Oh really, I see.”

“When we get back in the limo, then we head back to my motel. Okay, when you walk out your dress needs to be torn just a little to make people realize what is coming next.  You know it makes you look like you can’t resist me, which is the truth.”

“Is it really?”

“You will spend the night in my motel room. The next morning, you just rave about how great I was in the sack.”

She stood up flushed and not very happy.

“Is there a problem?”

“I can’t believed I once idolized you. I thought you were this really funny guy. The only funny thing about you is your clouded ideas. There is no way that I am going to kiss you or sleep with you. How do you figure that I want to stoop so low?”

“Honey, if you don’t, there are like thousands of women that do.”

“Well, then they can and realize what a conceited jerk you really are because I am not interested.”

She walked away.

“This is really great acting. I mean you are a true professional.”

She turned to him and shouted:  “I’m never going out with you again.”