We almost lost you

Nicholas John, as I hold you in my arms I consider just how lucky we are to have you. Not only do you have two other siblings sadly lost before we, your mum and dad could welcome them into this world as we are welcoming you but also your birth was a miracle in itself. We were so very lucky this morning that the doctor arrived just in the nick of time (ha ha) to save you. The amount of wriggling and jiggling you did during those nine months inside your mum managed to wrap that life giving cord around and around that little neck of yours. There was no way out, not the usual way. Instead you’ve been delivered behind a curtain while the doctor and the anesthetist chatted about the game of golf they had planned for later. Well my later, that is now, after the mad panic and the chaos and the worry of bringing you in to the world, my later is just staring lovingly into your curious blue eyes and wondering. I wonder about your future, your years ahead and what shall be. Now that our family is three I know just how much I was looking forward to being a father, your father. I cannot wait to teach you all the things I know and love to do, equally I cannot wait to discover all the things that you love too. I have been reading to you often and singing silly songs much to your mother’s amusement (sometimes) and annoyance (on occasion) too. I hope that as you grow older you will still love our story time together. You are a librarian’s son but you are your own man too. What you love is ok with us. As I rock you and murmur these silly thoughts I can see your eyes glazing over and your head growing heavy. In no time at all you will be sound asleep, just like your mother, both beautiful in slumber. Getting born must be incredibly hard work.

They say never change jobs or move house when a baby is due. I now know why. Leaving you sleeping there at the hospital with mum was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and yet do it I must. Hurrying back to work I had a few loose ends I needed to tie up. You were ten days late so most things I needed finished were done. Since I only started my job at the library a week ago though I have no leave accrued. That is what is so tough about local government; rules are rules and must be followed. For us and our little trio family will always come first and the rules and the rule makers can be happy with that.

I return to your little cot brandishing something new. It is something that is all yours. Something that I do so hope you will put to great use over so many years. It is your very own library membership card. Silly I know, especially evident when I told your mother and she rolled her eyes. For me though it is a magic moment. Years from now I know there will be other families who will ask, “How old does my son or daughter need to be before they can have their own library card..?”

Quick as a wink I will beam back and tell them a story of a boy who was only three hours old and already signed up. Libraries are for everyone, regardless of age and regardless of how well you can read. You will discover that libraries are full of games and puzzles, videos, comic books and toys. Those big books on the shelves you will one day see that are all about sharks or computers, travel, pets, growing vegetables and more, well they are not the only thing that libraries provide. As you grow you will discover storytelling and holiday fun, kids club and just how great a hangout spot for teens the library will turn out to be. There are so many new adventures in front of you. So many new adventures are in front of us too.

Oh, adventure number one (or should that be number two) and I am truly not sure I am ready for this. I smell a smell and my wife has indicated it is my turn to unwrap your nappy and discover the green, black and possibly purple ooze within. The nurse changed your first ever poo and just watching caused me to cough and gag. How can something so alien in color, texture and odor come out of you, my son? Your grandfather has been joking with me before your birth suggesting I may need a gas mask or at the very least a long stick. I am starting to think he may be right. They are coming soon to visit you. So many visitors you have already seen, or they at least have seen you. Your eyes flutter open as each new person says your name. Just as quick those same blue eyes shut tight. The light is too bright and the world is too huge and your mind is not yet ready for it all. By the end of today though I am sure you will know us, your mum and your dad. By the end of this week hopefully we will be able to take you and mum home. Your mum is strong and as a trio I am sure we will be able to survive and thrive in the weeks, months and years ahead. For now though there are texts to send and phone calls to make. Know that you are already loved by so many who you are yet to meet and become familiar with, know that you are already set up to achieve whatever it is you wish to do in life. This world is yours to explore and discover. We cannot wait to see whom it is that you become.

The sky is dark now and the day is done. Again I rock you in my arms and sing you to sleep. Welcome little Nicholas John. Welcome our little baby boy. Welcome and goodnight.