BEAUTIFUL

Once again I felt the cool tap water rumble round my face as I tried washing only-God-knows-what, off it. I raised my head and took another look at the mirror in my bathroom. I exhaled deeply in displeasure. I drew out a fake grin at my reflection but I was hit with disappointment. I hated my dentition. It had faded yellowish color on it and it wasn’t straight but crooked. Many in school would always comment on how beautiful my grin is but I never saw it and I doubt I ever would. That’s why I resolved to only smiling even in the most joyous moments. 

I took another look at my face and I saw two scars that would never go away. One on my forehead due to a fall I had while riding my bike hurriedly and the other at the far end of my right cheek. I incurred it upon myself during a childish play with my friends. It was a slant scar that has now turned black

 “Arrrgggghhh” I exclaimed in annoyance “I hate myself” I slapped my facial treatment soap to the floor which made it fall open and spill. I didn’t care to give it a second glance. I saw a tear attempting to fall down my cheek through my mirror. Thoughts came rushing through my head as many would comment about my beauty “all lies” I soliloquized wiping the tear off my face slowly. My definition of beauty is something to perfection all way round; in dressing, status, gait, appearance and many more but gazing at my reflection I was a far cry. I always knew people told me I was beautiful just to make me feel good about myself. I never complimented myself or graced myself with a good self-esteem. I always retorted my friends from giving me any form of eulogy with a harsh tone because, it was all fake.

“Gift!” I could hear my mum yell my name from the living room. “You are getting really late for school! You even missed the bus. Because you are in high school doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want missy. Get down here now!”

I attempted to leave the bathroom but slipped and hit my back hard on the floor. I grimaced in pain. I looked around on what would have caused my unfortunate fall and noticed my spilled liquid soap on the floor.

I exhaled in frustration, as I stood up. I changed my skirt feeling miserable. I splashed water on my face for the third time washing off my tears. I took one more glance at myself and went for my school bag. The saying still stands, "you can lie to others, but you can’t lie to yourself” I said to myself, picked up my bag and headed for school

“Math class was a total disaster” Ireti exclaimed with exhaustion as she slouched on her chair. It was lunch time already and we were all at the school cafeteria. I was having rice and beans my mum packed up for me while the others were eating their usual junk. 

“sweetie you can’t compare it to oral English class argghhhhh” Princess added “with all the ‘aaaa’ ‘bahhh’ ‘crk’ and all that nonsense! I literally bit my tongue because I was forcefully twisted it for a pronunciation that’s voiceless to voice out. Mtcheww” she hissed after laying out her frustration which drew a short laugh from the mouths seated on the table apart from me

I couldn’t help my gaze on princess, she was sitting directly opposite me and she was a clear definition of beauty. She has a pretty smile that presents her crystal clear dentition. Her physique was just right. She wasn’t bony and slim neither was she too fleshy or chubby. She was just ‘there’. Her complexion was brown skin but I prefer to say ‘just fair’. Her hair was brown unlike mine that was boldly black and long but still, even if hers wasn’t as long, it suited her just fine. She was always neat, academically, I was just 20% above her but she was smart all the same. All her qualities made me get attracted to her the very first day she was transferred. I do feel intimidated around her sometimes, but I couldn’t just stay away

“Gift! Gift!”

“Hmm” I snapped back to my consciousness 

“Why do you always stare at me like that” Princess sounded angry. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to, I was just distracted with my thoughts. Sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable” I responded firmly and calm

The atmosphere was silent for a moment till an unforeseen statement broke it

“Orr… maybe you just like her. I mean lesbianism isn’t a new thing in our century anymore” masculine laughter broke out after the statement was made

“Now you guys are just gross” my head was still fixated on my lunch as I kept stirring absentmindedly and was dumbfounded, but still I knew my solicitor that just spoke was none other than Miracle. She has been my closest friend since middle school and was never hesitant to defend me I heard her voice once again “In case you didn’t get the part where she said she was distracted by her thoughts, I just repeated it. Although I know you can’t assimilate simple English because you lack a brain to help you.”

“Yeah yeah, once again the almighty Miracle comes to save her lowly friend as always.” Now the voice was clearer, it was Victor talking. I still couldn’t raise my head because of the tear that have now fallen into my lunch. “Of course she was distracted like Shrek thinking of how to ask out the beautiful Princess” numerous laughs bursted out to his allusion. Now it seemed the whole cafeteria’s attention had been drawn. I couldn’t even speak up for myself because everyone already knew I had low self-esteem. I wanted to disappear but it seemed Victor wasn’t finished “I guess she wants to make beautiful babies, but she forgot shriek still gave birth to his type” a large sound of ‘ooo’ broke out and laughter followed. I could hear Princess take her leave hastily and I was filled with more tears. “You know it too Miracle, I speak no lies, else she would have defended herself by now”

I could still hear laughter all around and I still couldn’t stand up for myself. I didn’t hear another defense speech from Miracle again, I knew she wanted me to defend myself this time, but how could I, my lunch was now mixed with salty water

“Aren’t you going to say anything for yourself?” I tried to show myself to Miracle but I couldn’t even raise my head and then I heard her voice again “you know at a time, I thought you were just going through a phase, but after this, all this right now, you just sicken me” Miracle didn’t hesitate to take her leave immediately and the others followed. Some laughed while I could hear others murmur

“Eeeewww, she truly like Princess…gross.” I heard a girl say irritated

“Well she is gonna be expelled for sure, Principal Deborah, takes immoral actions very serious, and it’s in our school rules and regulations; anyone caught doing such or have immoral thoughts or behaviors would be expelled” I heard a boy respond to the girl

I felt numb, I couldn’t move, all I could do was cry my eyes out

“Are you still crying?”

By now, school time was over but after lunch time, I had skipped the remaining hours of school to cry my eyes out on a bench at a walkaway a mile away from the school vicinity where no one would see me. The voice that questioned me sounded familiar yet foreign, so I shakily looked up thinking it was an elderly.

Looking up, few inches away from me was a girl of my peer group I knew I had seen before. She was wearing the same school uniform as mine, which made it obvious that she was also from my school. I should have been terrified that another was going to ridicule me in my situation but I felt otherwise. She stared at me expressionless. 

“I’m Cynthia” she said with a stretched arm signaling for a shake but I turned to the other side

The atmosphere was quiet for a while before she spoke again “you know, I don’t think what that boy said was true. I think you just admire your friend because you felt she is all you ever wanted in yourself. You just couldn’t defend yourself because you were placed in an awkward situation that even your friends ditched you in annoyance”

I looked at her astonished yet expectant. Of course I didn’t like Princess in a way other than being my friend. And she was right about my reason of not being vindictive of the situation. I have only cut glances of Cynthia in school on few occasions, but not until today, I never knew her name. I only heard rumors about her. Rumors of her being a witch to some, to another, they saw her as a fortune teller. Rumors said she sees people’s future, she tends to know things about people who didn’t even know such things about themselves. Some call her a seer while others like me called her strange and weird. Rumors also said Principal Deborah a Christian fanatic saw Cynthia as a girl who had a gift from the Holy One which led to reasons why expulsion never came up in her case.

“I know a girl that looks a lot like you, although more beautiful” she paused “no offence” she said staring into thin air

I felt a dagger strike my chest after her comment. What was the point saying no offence when it already sounded offensive? I just rolled my eyes away as I cleaned my tears fully and sat upright. Even if I tagged her as weird, flashes came to me as I remembered more rumors said, whatever Cynthia spoke was either true or came to pass. So even if I was offended, I was interested in listening

“She smiles a lot, she is very hard working, she is very funny and did I mention really pretty”

“Yeah you did, it’s same as beautiful” my words flew out unknown to me with irritation coating them and the next sound I heard was a cute girly laughter

I turned to my side and I saw Cynthia laughing. It was obvious she teased me on purpose and seeing her carefree laugh drew a side smile on my face

She turned to me, staring directly at my face “you know, people would even think you both are twins, but you aren’t. Hmmm…weird” she said twisting her lips into an oval form like a child

I didn’t want to burst out a laugh so I immediately turned my gaze towards the birds in front “where does she stay?” I asked

“Hmmm… seems someone would like to meet her twin from another other” she slanted her head to catch a glance at my face and yet again I found her amusing.

“Would you stop” I grinned unconsciously but immediately retracted my grin when I noticed Cynthia got a glimpse of my action and made a sad smile but didn’t comment.

“Would you like to meet her now?” she asked. 

“I can’t maybe next week. I have to go home now” I replied picking up my bag

“Just give me your hand” she said holding me back on the bench. I looked at her strangely but still she signaled for my hands to be placed on hers. I already knew Cynthia was strange and weird, but after our little interaction, I knew she was friendly and harmless. 

I dropped my bag beside me, although I was hesitant, but I placed my palms on hers. She beamed a smile towards me and said “let’s go to my world”

In a blink of an eye, I saw myself in a whole new place. The environment looked rural. Old mud houses were all I could find around. The ground was wet like a heavy downpour had preceded. I looked around and couldn’t find Cynthia. I wanted to call for her wen my inner mind spoke “I’m here, no need to yell.” I wanted to ask ‘how’ but she responded before I did “you are technically in my body, you are seeing through my eyes, I am also in my body, but while you are in control physically and also mentally, I am like a subconscious”

“Like a conscience. So we can talk telepathically” I said inwardly

“Exactly”

I turned back to my surroundings again and my eyes was star struck when I saw her or rather when I saw ‘me’

“Is…is…that...”

“Yes” Cynthia said

“How…”I couldn’t put the words to fly out. I saw a direct replica of myself carrying firework on her head. She looked messy and tired but she walked energetically regardless. She had the same dark hair as me, but hers was short compared to mine that was long. Her skin didn’t shimmer like mine, probably because of the type of labor she was into. And suddenly she caught my gaze. I was terrified and turned around 

“Cynthia!”

I heard her call. Her voice was exactly like mine. I felt her running closer

“Cynthia, she is coming what do I do” I spoke telepathically but I got no response “Cynthia where are you?” but still I got nothing and from nowhere my replica jumped in front of me

“I was calling you. Didn’t you hear me” she said

“I…I…I am sorry…I…”

“Or were you purposely avoiding me because you didn’t bring it” she sounded annoyed but in a funny way. She behaved childish and cute in my eyes. 

“Was…was I supposed to…to bring anything” I stammered

“Why are you behaving timid” she placed her hands on my shoulders and shook me aggressively like she wanted something out of me

“Sto…pp” I could barely let out my words with all the dizziness and when she finally let go I couldn’t hold my balance. I staggered backwards and slipped on the muddy ground making me butt-fall into a bucket. I suddenly heard what I haven’t heard freely in a long while

Her (my) laughter

She laughed at me so hard that she also slipped in the process and fell on the bare ground. She was damped by the muddy pot-hole she slipped into and instead of annoyance, we both bursted into laughter hysterically

Her laughter made me laugh more. I was still stuck in the bucket and it really did amuse her a lot. She didn’t even care that she was in a messier situation. I laughed more as I looked at her. She was beautiful with her laughter. She laughed without a care in the world. Although her dentition was straight and white unlike mine but considering her place of shelter, her labor, how messy and dirty she looked, she still laughed to her contentment. 

I saw her finally get up and walk towards me. She stretched her hands to help me up “I thought you had a perfect walking step” she grinned widely. Her eyes squeezed to express her happiness, she really was beautiful.

I didn’t understand her statement, but I returned a grin

You still owe me my chocolate from the city young lady, don’t think this changed anything” she said before dragging me towards an old muddy building I suspect would be her home. She sat me down on a stool while she went in to get something “don’t disappear I will be right back” she said and left

It seemed she also liked chocolate just like I did. My favorite was ‘city chocolate’. She was me, but still not me. She did the opposite of what I would ever do. I lived in an urban environment while she was the opposite, her hair was short while mine was long, and she played and laughed a lot while I did the opposite. It felt like I was in an opposite universe or something.

Now I understood why I had to see through Cynthia’s eyes, I was already in this universe and there couldn’t be two of me. Cynthia was the only one gifted with the privilege of visiting both sides. It all made sense how she could differ things back in school. She had already seen it here and would just tell the opposite in my world

“I think it’s time to go” I suddenly heard Cynthia’s voice once again I wanted to declined and wait a bit since my replica told me not to disappear, but as if Cynthia took back control of her eyes, it was closed and when I opened my eyes again, I found myself in a different environment. I sat up and realized I was in my bathroom. I glanced at my wrist watch and noticed it was still morning.

“That was a dream?!” I soliloquized in disbelief

Suddenly I heard my room door open and shut and I saw my mum. She wanted to yell at me but she retracted 

“Why are you on the floor, did you fall?” she looked at me worriedly and helped me up “oh my poor baby. Sorry. Are you hurt” she turned me over from one side to another looking for an injury but there was none, it reminded of how my replica shook me. It felt so real yet…

I couldn’t hold back my tears as it rushed down like the rain. My mum drew me into her embrace “you must be hurt. My beautiful baby, stop crying, mummy is here” my mum thought I was crying because of the fall but she had no idea I grinned amidst my tears because she called me beautiful.