An Unwanted Presence

I was being watched. It was a dreary, overcast Saturday afternoon, and I was standing behind the vertical blinds at my living room window drinking a Bloody Mary, when I noticed that a heavyset man with piercing black eyes in a black trench coat was standing at a distance, staring directly at me.

I stood there watching him watching me. I was gripped by fear. Should I call the cops? Why would anyone want to spy on me?

I had recently broken up with my boyfriend, Jeff, and wondered if he had hired a private investigator to keep tabs on me? I was the one who'd ended the relationship and Jeff hadn't taken it well. A possessive, controlling guy, I was dying to cut loose of him. I could see Jeff doing something crazy like this. He didn't go quietly into the night and blew up my voice mail and email. I had to block him. This had Jeff's mo written all over it...

Then again, I'd recently rejected the advances of my shrink, who'd tried to put the moves on me and kissed me during our session. That day, after I got home, I called his office and told him I wouldn't be seeing him anymore. He apologized for his inappropriate behavior and told me that he was falling in love with me, to my surprise. 

"But I just started seeing you a month ago," I said.

"I know... but I am just so taken with you. Please give me a chance." he begged.

He was a good looking guy, well built...and rich. If I wasn't a patient any longer, there'd be no impropriety, no conflict of interest. He would be quite the catch. 

But then I remembered the picture of him I'd seen on Facebook standing between two beautiful young chics in bikinis, in Barbados, and thought better of it. 

"You're a psychiatrist...you crossed the line. I should report you, doctor!" I hung up the phone. After that, he called back, but I didn't answer the phone. He also sent me several text messages, and even asked me if I would want to go on a trip to Aruba.

A shrink who thinks he's falling in love with a patient, one month in, and makes advances on his patient must not be wrapped all that tightly himself. He specialized in treating Paranoia and since I had some paranoid tendencies, I'd chosen him. I couldn't help but wonder if he was a Paranoid, himself, who was threatened by my telling him that I should report him? That seemed like a distinct possibility.

Another possibility was that it had to do with the fact that I'd missed three payments on the car I'd purchased. Maybe it was a repo man...But didn't those guys drive around in those flatbed trucks in the middle of the night looking for the car? I'd hid my car in a wooded area a block away. I eliminated the finance company as the likely suspect in this scenario, which left me with the overzealous shrink or the P.I.

And one more...I had been fired from my job as a Secretary and had taken another clerical position working for a woman whose temperament didn't seem like a particularly good fit for mine at the interview. She was edgy, and judging by the expression on her face, she wasn't a happy camper. But I needed the job and took the position, hoping for the best. Unfortunately, she turned out to be a high strung, raging lunatic. 

Nothing I did pleased her. She micromanaged me and I was a nervous wreck. In addition, she had me running errands for her in my car. One afternoon after driving across town for her, I returned to the office and found a huge stack of work on my desk. She was standing there waiting for me, looking like she was going to attack me. "What took you sooo long?" she shouted standing right in front of me.

I was in no mood for this nutcase. "Traffic was heavy," I said. 

"You can get busy on these files. I need these done a.s.a.p.!" she snarled.

"I quit!" 

Then she slapped me in the face and said, "Oh no you're not!!!"

"Oh yes I am! I'm calling the cops and charging you with assault! Step away from me!" I told her as I bolted for the door.

"You bitch...I'll get you for this!" she screamed

"We'll see about that," I yelled back as I took out my phone and dialed 911 for the police.

"Wait...don't call the cops...I apologize." she pleaded. "I've been through a terrible ordeal," she told me. 

I didn't want to hear it and left the office. She followed me outside and screamed, "I said I'm sorry!"

"I don't care!" I jumped in my car and sped off.

In retrospect, given how unhinged she was, it wasn't beyond the realm of possibility that it was her standing down there. I could see her doing something like that. 

I hurriedly went into the kitchen where I made myself another Bloody Mary to calm my nerves, then returned to my post behind the blinds. Who was this person who stood like a fixture on the landscape; an unnerving, unwanted presence that clung to me like a shroud. 

The wind had picked up and was howling. It was then that I noticed the figure shifting to the left...then to the right....and again to the left...I didn't know what to make of this. 

If only I had a better view so that I could see more clearly. A pair of binoculars was what I needed now. I remembered that I had a big magnifying glass in my desk and went to retrieve it. I held the magnifying glass up to the window and couldn't believe my eyes...It wasn't a man at all...it was a bush! 

Relieved, I started laughing at myself...I'd been looking at a bush all this time! Guess that weed I'd smoked earlier was more potent than I'd thought...