Rosebud in a flood

 Year 2010-November,the most rainy month of south arcot districts of Tamilnadu,my daughter was just one month old,I was in my mother’s place for postnatal care.That year was no less and the weather forecast was telling me a horrifying story every day.Being a new mother i just wished that the rain would stop and that my baby would sleep.There was no support from either the weather or from my baby.Both of them were playing peek a boo with me all day and night.

The rainy days were hard to pass.outside it was just rain,stagnant water and mud everywhere and inside it was wipes ,un dried clothes and diapers everywhere.My world had shrunk in between the four walls of my room and sleep less nights were further horrified with loud croaking noise from the frogs.

Whenever the sun comes out in between drizzles, it would feel like a gush of energy in between my post parental depressions.Me and my daughter would be the first ones to stand in the sun for a fresh feel.My daughter’s sleepy smiles,tender little fingers,pinky little toes and my mother’s hand made hot meals and ginger tea were giving me the same warmth that sun was giving me then.

Windows and doors were the only connect to the outside world,whenever I peep out of the window or stood in my portico I was able to feel that only there was earth below my feet and elsewhere it was water and only water to witness.I felt that this rain is enough for the whole of year but realized that there were a lot of clouds,rolling and clinging in to big black masses,humidity at its peak ready to pour any moment above my head.

To my eyes the sky is always beautiful,majestic and calm. But now after distributing the life saving rain it is swollen, confused, wrinkled and grey,same like me after bringing a baby to this world.These thoughts just made me lean against a teak wood chair in front of the TV.

TV was always on, to get updates of weather but i knew that the updates are just for information but not for any action.yet again it was the same forecast, that heavy rain is going to continue for five more days but at the end there was cyclone prediction also .My native was a very low lying area surrounded by paddy fields and a drain channel from Veeram Dam was nourishing that area’s agriculture.whenever there is an alarming rise in the water levels of the dam there is a high chance of our locality flooding and water entering up to three or four feet inside the households.

My gut warned me to react to the weather forecast immediately. Like the strong winds collecting all the clouds together and making it heavy,my mother instinct was just collecting around that one single thought that I should safeguard my baby at all costs.I finally stood up in front of my father with all my courage,even after knowing that others’ words would not penetrate him easily. I said ”appa please drop me in my in-laws' place ,the situation doesn't look good over here”.

He just looked back at me and said”i also heard about the storm in the forecast so i have lot of central government standard formalities and insurance write ups to be made in office,there is going to be huge loss from this, is what i understand”.

He just pulled his raincoat over,carried another change over clothes in a polyethylene bag and stepped out into the ankle deep water and walked against the slowly increasing water to the bus stop in the main road.

I just realized that nothing of my words were heard or processed ,it was only his duties that were discussed.My heart pounded, silent tears poured down my cheek but that moment my ears realized that the tears from the sky were more intense .

“Amma, can you stop cooking once?and come here and help me out of this situation”?.Since appa left to office, this lady was ready to open her mouth now and she told me that i should trust him and wait.Moreover she added that getting stressed is not good for my health now.

“I know if you and baby leave now, it will be much easier, but sometimes i feel water will not enter the house this year so, why?the drama of going and coming back", yes amma it may or may not happen but i cannot take a chance now”,no one is there to understand me” 

This dilemma of water entering or not entering was there for many days,that has pulled the situation to this worst moment now.No one can exactly predict the rain but everyone can safeguard themselves. so, now my only thought was to safeguard me and my baby.

Now the only final person available is my husband, i picked up my mobile and called my husband ,as usual he was busy in a meeting in his Bangalore office, no answer.Even though he also heard the forecast, he cannot feel it all,sitting over there.when he called back he said he will talk to his parents and decide on something tomorrow morning.

The wait was too long,just wanted to escape.went near the portico to witness a huge cloud pulled here and there by heavy winds,my life was not any different as i was dancing to others' tunes .

As expected there was a power cut as a safety measure and we had no choice but to sleep off early around 9.30 pm.The night was completely devastating as the sound of heavy winds had already started even though the storm was predicted two days later. Rain either reduced or stopped.I wasn't in deep sleep so i woke up and wanted to use the washroom .I picked up my phone and turned on the torch light to check the time and slowly put my feet down just to give out a sharp cry as i realized that the unwanted guest has finally entered.I felt sheets of water below my feet.The cry woke my parents up and then their torch light gleamed over the water above the old mosaic floor. I realized around two centimetres of water had already entered inside the house.

That moment I could only think of one thing, that the God is the one who sends rain to nourish the planet and he is the same one who sends floods and storms to devastate the same.I was an Engineer by degree,married to a well off guy in Bangalore,my father is an practically intelligent central government employee,my in-laws stayed near by,all these different possibilities just knelt down and begged for pardon from the heavy heart of a mother inside me.I just felt so ashamed of myself.Such a big blunder..i shouted out many times to my family not to make it too late,but i was already there at that worst moment.

I just cried out loud to my father”how many times i told you,only your office is always important to you,my heart is flooding with fear like this house,now what will i do now with my little one,you did not have four hours to prioritise me and my newborn baby!”.Just then there was a huge thunder sound, which forcefully asked me shut up and remained that my father was the only ray of hope .He just said “we can go to the room in first floor and any way washroom is also there ,why worry? i will see what can be done in the morning,trust me”

First floor room neither made me feel better nor allowed me to sleep.Around Four a.m ,the rain reduced a bit but the croaking frogs did not leave any peace behind.No words or tears from me but my guilt was croaking aloud from inside,even though my daughter was still sleeping i felt ashamed to see her face.

I just closed my eyes and prayed for only one thing is to be safe.Around six am the morning beam of light just demonstrated how bad the night was .I could only see my heart torn apart and thrown out everywhere floating in the waters along with all the debris the flood had carried along.Till twelve o'clock my parents were busy battling in the knee high water inside the house and picking up all important things and shiting many to first floor and keeping the rest in the loft storages in the ground floor itself.My father was an expert in this and finally after safeguarding everything he took a walk of around eight hundred meters till the mainroad to analyse the situation in person.He came back and told the maximum water was till his hips and from main road autos and buses were available.only good thing that he could notice was there was no rain or wind, just flood water flowing in its own current.I had stopped arguing or asking anything and just was with my thoughts flowing endlessly inside me like this flood.

I wrapped my baby girl in three layers of cotton and woollen wraps to keep her warm and safe and handed over her to my father’s arms as I was told to .Me and my mother picked up two packed travel bags wrapped in polythene over our heads.

I took a deep breath ,prayed once again and put my feet in the water with all the trust on the mother inside me .I trusted my father as well,even though we was not good at prioritising,expressing and talking,he loved his first granddaughter so much and he was the right person to hover through that waters as he was the son of this very land and has lived through many flood in this area.

Just eight hundred meter,took one hour to walk, against the water currents and hip deep water and with a tender newborn who can not risk any mistakes.My heart and body struggled like a small seed that struggles in a heavy flood.Finally when i kept my feet on a visible pavements of our main road i could finally breathe freely.My little rose bud was safe and still sleeping without knowing about the danger that she in.

Then we changed in a neighbours house and took a bus and had a very tough journey through the flooded and washed out roads on the way.

Few days laters, i was standing on the terrace of my in-laws' house holding my baby in the sun and trying to show her the rainbow that had just appeared.I was happily gazing at the clear,pretty blue sky and whispered in her ears “I finally protected you with all my heart”.She just tightened her grip on my finger just to acknowledge that she is aware of it.