For William

We build the road and the road builds us. 

***

Ed Shenton’s most favorite thing in the whole wide world was driving his VW Golf GTI. He liked the way the engine purred softly to life, the feel of the leather seats (heated, of course) on his behind, and the horsepower she had when he shifted into another gear.

Anytime spent in his Golf was sweet serenity. Long commutes to work? No problem. Midnight grocery runs? You got it. Designated driver on the weekends? Not as much fun as having a few pints himself, but hey, he’d do it just to be in his Golf. 

Ed couldn’t really think of a time when he didn’t enjoy being in his Golf.

Except for now. Like right now, while his wife Mia (who he loved dearly) shrieked like a gull from the passenger seat. 

“I’m sorry Mrs. Shenton, but this hospital is at full capacity. We really didn’t anticipate this, and um, you’re going to have to, have to…”

“Have to what, exactly?” Mia hissed, in her best Jan Levinson voice (Ed knew this to be true because Mia had watched The Office US at least a dozen times through. When Mia officially moved here from the states, Ed had tried tirelessly to convert her to the UK version, but it was like trying to move a brick wall). 

“Well, we kindly ask that you redirect to our sister hospital. That would be, um, Bassetlaw—” the small voice on the Bluetooth speaker said. Ed chuckled a little to himself. He knew where this was headed. 

“Bassetlaw? Bassetlaw! You’re telling me right now we have to drive an extra 45 minutes, in traffic, mind you, to Bassetlaw?”

“Yes, and I’m really—” 

Ed swore he heard the voice on the Bluetooth speaker quiver just slightly. Poor girl.

“But we’re not going to make it in time! We’re right around the corner from Royal Hallamshire, can’t you make an exception? Please, he’s coming right now!” 

“I’m sorry Mrs. Shenton, but you’re going to have to go to—”

“Bassetlaw, I know! Thanks for nothing!”

Mia ended the call and slammed her phone down. All she could see was red, and she felt rage, coarse and hot, run through her. 

Ed knew heaven and earth combined couldn’t calm his wife, not when she was in blind fury mode. But still, he steeled himself and did the bravest thing a husband could do at a time like this. 

He looked at her. 

Mia felt Ed staring from her peripheral. She knew what that look meant, and she also knew what he was going to say next. And he did.

“It’s going to be fine, Mia, promise. We’re going to make it, don’t you worry. Now, where to? Bassetlaw, was it?” 

He gave her a wink and Mia contemplated strangling him. But she simply didn’t have the strength, not when she could feel their little bundle-of-joy-to-be practically falling out of her uterus as they spoke. 

“Ed we need to be at the hospital now! William wants out! Christ, aren’t you a little scared?” 

Mia was panting and her breaths were coming out in shallow hiccups. She tried to get her breathing under control but it was no use. She thought, perhaps, she was having a panic attack. Then she wondered, could one have a panic attack while in labor? She bet ChatGPT would know. She began typing the question into the app. 

And it was then, as her thoughts spiraled out of control, that Ed took her hand in his. And as soon as he touched her, everything— even the entire unknown road before them— stilled to silence. It was just them, the two of them, and that moment right then. 

As Mia stared into her husband’s eyes, thoughts about not quite being ready to be a mum quieted down. Feelings of pain, the unbearable, excruciating pain that was getting worse by the minute, dulled then disappeared. 

And the only thing Mia could feel, at least for a second, was Ed’s thumb brushing the back of her knuckles. 

Ed gave her hand a squeeze then told her as much of the truth as he knew. 

“Our son is going to wait for us. I just know it, Mia. Now hang in there, ok? Put your legs up on the dashboard, and hold on tight! It’s reckless with reason, baby!”

Mia nodded, blinking back the tears. A wave of comfort washed over her, and then it was gone, because Ed had just swerved out of his lane, spun the car around, and completed an illegal U-turn. 

Mia shrieked like a gull, Ed cackled like a hyena, and then they were both barreling east, the Golf headed in the opposite direction. 

Towards Bassetlaw, in case you were wondering. 

***

“And then he screeched to a halt right in front of the hospital and carried you inside. You barely made it in time, but I did wait for you, didn’t I?” William says.

I look over at my son, the spitting image of his father, and give him a smirk. 

“And that’s how he told you the story, huh?”

William grins, “More or less. I might have fabricated a few details.” 

“Not abut the Golf though. That man loved his car. More than me, I think.” We both burst into fits of laughter, and it’s the first time William has laughed today. 

“But seriously, I remember he said even though you were panicking the whole car ride there, once you got to Bassetlaw, you were a real warrior. He said you weren’t afraid. I could use a little of that right now, Mum.” 

William looks over at me from the passenger seat and I hold his gaze for a second, then, it’s eyes back to the road. I can see the worry begin to weigh him down again, and I want to do everything I can to soothe him, to bring back that laughter I love so much.

“We’re going to make it in time, honey, we’re almost there. Katy’s doctors said she’s doing great—” I try.

“It doesn’t matter what they said. I should be there. Right now. I mean, she’s about to have our little girl and I’m not—”

I reach over and grip my son’s hand. He stills and I feel his warmth beneath my fingers. I brush over his knuckles, like Ed used to. And when I look into my son’s eyes, I make sure to tell him as much of the truth as I know. 

“If your father were here with us today, he would tell you your daughter’s going to wait for you. I just know it, honey. Now hang in there, ok, and hold on tight!”

I shift the car into another gear, and I can feel Ed here with us, whispering reckless with reason, baby! And so, I do what Ed would have done and begin weaving like a mad woman between lanes. There’s car horns blaring, cuss words flying, but the only sound in the whole world I can hear is my son’s laughter, loud and full and contagious. 

When we finally do pull up in front of Bassetlaw hospital, yes the one and only Bassetlaw, I screech to a stop and William flies out of the car. 

I sit there for a minute, and watch my son yank open the front door and disappear inside. 

I know I should go look for parking. I know I need to hurry inside, too, and meet my soon-to-be granddaughter. 

But I take a moment, one small moment, to hear the purr of the engine, to feel the leather of the seat, and to remember back, way back, to the day Ed brought me here.  

“Oh Ed, I really miss you,” I whisper. 

And then, in my rearview mirror, I see it: a VW Golf GTI pulls up behind me and a young couple spills out of the car, the woman’s stomach swollen, clearly ready to deliver. 

As soon as I see them, everything— even the entire unknown road before me— stills to silence. 

And then it’s just us, the two of us, Ed and I, and this moment right here. 

I break into a grin and shake my head, because even after all these years, my husband still has a way of reaching me. And I love him all the more for it.

Author’s note: This story is dedicated to my best friend's son, William, who was born just a few days ago. I love you honey, more than you could ever know. And welcome, welcome.