"If You Walk Out That Door..."

"If you walk out that door, don't bother coming back!" 

Renee gazed at her mother, Raya for the last time. She no longer looked young and youthful the way she had for Renee most her life. Now in her anger, her mother looked hard, her blonde/grey hair falling out of a haphazard ponytail, her eyes, electric sparks that would have zapped the life out of Renee if possible. 

"I'm sorry Mama but I have to go." 

Renee had her suitcase in hand as she walked out the front door to begin the new life her mother didn't approve of. She saw her future sitting in the Chevy truck, the cowboy hat sitting on the head of her lover. Sticking the suitcase in the bed of the truck, she jumped inside the cab of the truck, planting a kiss on the face she had grown to love as more than a friend over the last six months. 

"Ready to go babe?" The eyes were filled with concern but also excitement and the start of their new adventure. 

"Sure am. Let's get outta here." 

"You don't have to tell me twice." 

Sticking the truck into gear, the two took off, Charley heading out to parts unknown for either one of them. The city where they had both grown up was rapidly falling behind as they headed west. People in this town—they just didn't understand. Renee was sure there were more like her and Charley in town. They just pretended like the life they lived was what they wanted. They don't have the same courage we have. Renee looked over at Charley in disbelief. She never thought her life would take such a drastic turn. They had been friends for years, their mothers were best friends in high school, all through their pregnancies and marriages, even dealing with the loss of their husbands, one to divorce…the other to death. 

Renee’s mother Raya, and Charley’s mom, Doris were old school though. They were Baptists, both of them and believed that a woman’s place was in the home caring for her children, her husband, everything else before herself. When both husbands were gone, Renee and Charley didn’t know what their moms were going to do. Eventually, Charley’s mother Doris got remarried to a teacher at the local high school, a widower himself, but Renee’s mom, Raya felt like it would be a sin to remarry after divorce. It was good for Doris to get remarried. She was a widow after all, but Raya? No it wasn’t allowed for her. Through the years, Raya got more and more bitter. She was lonely, angry, and now her daughter? Well her daughter had chosen a lifestyle that she would never in a million years consider for herself. 

“It’s a mortal sin Renee…this life you’ve chosen. You’ll go to hell for the sins you are committing.” 

Renee rolled her eyes heavenward causing her mother to explode once more. Renee didn’t think it was a sin at all. Her life was her own. 

“It’s not a sin for me Mama. Not being who I am? Pretending to be someone else? That would be a sin.” 

“Renee, think about the community. How do you think this is going to affect my standing? I have always been an upstanding citizen here. Always taken part in the church. I can’t look these people in the eye once this gets out. I’ll be ruined!” 

Raya wiped away frustrated tears as she walked around the living room, punching the throw pillows on the sofa and love seat before sitting down in a heap on the sofa. 

            “That’s not my problem Mama. I need to live my own life the way I want to. If you can’t accept that then I think I need to leave.” 

            Renee gazed at her mother and saw the finality in her eyes. 

            “If that’s how you feel Renee. Then I think you do too.” 

Her mother was not going to let it go. Renee could see that. Gulping, she nodded her head at her mother and called Charley. After the conversation between Raya and Renee, it was only a matter of weeks before Renee and Charley were ready to go. 

Now the two young people were holding hands as they drove out of Missouri and into their future in Denver. Things would be different there. Denver was a big city. People would be more accepting of them. Kansas City and St. Louis? Those two big cities just weren’t far enough away. Before making the move, Charley found a great job working IT for a company in Denver and Renee found them an apartment to share. Caught up in their excitement, the couple talked nonstop about what they hoped to accomplish in their new lives together.

Halfway through their trip they were hungry and decided to stop for a bite to eat. Pulling into a roadside cafe they got out of the car and walked inside. There weren’t too many people sitting at tables, but the sign said Please Wait to be Seated. When the waitress saw the two, she shook her head in disappointment. Charley noticed the look on her face and grimaced. 

“Well, you should both know by now what is considered acceptable behavior here. None of that rubbish or I’m not going to be able to seat you.” 

The waitress was adamant, and Renee began to feel the anger build up within her once more. Instinctually, they let their hands go, understanding the look the waitress gave them. There would always be those people who didn’t like what they saw. It was something they were used to by now, but it still hurt. Granted they were still in Kansas which wasn’t much different than Missouri. Still, Renee was fed up. Charley saw the look on Renee’s face and pleaded with her. 

“Renee just let it go.” 

“You know I can’t.” 

“Come on. Just for a little longer.” 

It didn’t matter what she said. Renee was going to speak her mind no matter what Charley asked. Charley threw her hands up in defeat, turning away before looking back at Renee and the waitress. 

“You see this woman over here, what is your name…Clarice?”

The waitress nodded quickly, resolved to send the two young women out the door. She didn’t have to serve them if she didn’t want to. 

“Yes. I see her and I see you. Now get out.” 

The waitress looked quickly around her at the people seated in the restaurant who were curiously watching her interaction with the two young women before her. 

“No I don’t think so. See I love this woman and she loves me. I don’t care if you don’t like the fact that we love each other. It’s a free country and this is 2021, not 1971.” 

Grabbing Charley’s arm, she pulled her close. Placing her hands on either side of Charley’s face, Renee started kissing her. Charley had no choice but to respond. After all, she was in love with Renee and admired her confidence and strength in matters such as this. 

“I don’t need to see this disgusting display of affection between you two sinners. Now get out of my restaurant before I call the police.” 

The waitress raised her hand, pointing at the door. Renee looked around at the customers sitting at their tables, so quiet that if a pin dropped it would be heard. 

“We’re leaving but just remember one thing. We are going to continue changing the world and one day, people like you who don’t accept us for who we are, will have no choice but to realize that in the big scheme of things, you’re the sinner for not accepting us. Not us. All over the country, people like myself and my girlfriend over here--other members of the LGBTQ community rise every day, knowing that we have fought for the equality we are seeing now and will continue to fight until all our needs are met. That’s a promise.” 

Turning towards the door, the two young lovers heard the people inside the restaurant hesitantly begin to clap for them until everyone in the restaurant was clapping…everyone except Clarice. Renee understood now what her purpose was in moving to Denver. She would finish school. Yes she would and then she would go to law school and fight the good fight. The LGBTQ community had definitely come a long way in their fight but there was always more to do and Renee for one knew that she would be fighting with others just like her to continue doing what needed to be done.