The Southern Cross

       He leaned over her shoulder and pointed. 

            “Allí esta la Cruz del Sur.”

            She looked up into the Chilean sky and didn’t see anything.  She tried to feign recognition but he could tell she was faking it.

            “¿No la ves, verdad?”

            Paloma shook her head.  He was right that she couldn’t see the constellation.  She didn’t like how closely he was leaning over her shoulder.  His cheek was brushing against her hair and it was making her uncomfortable.  I think he thought he was being cute. 

            Just because she spent all night dancing at a tango bar didn’t mean she was flirtatious.  She moved away from the stargazing expert and walked over to her friend, Annie, who was also an exchange student from the United States.  She felt like speaking English but she knew it was bad form to do so in mixed company.  She stuck to Spanish.

            “¿Podemos ir a tu casa?”

            Annie was living with a professor and his family and her host home was huge.  Paloma felt like going somewhere quiet.  All of the sudden she heard Annie inviting the group of jovenes they just met over to her house.  Paloma looked at Annie with her what-are-you-doing eyes.  She didn’t feel like hanging out with stargazing expert and his cuico friends.  His friends sent out the vibe that they attended La Catolica and lived in Las Condes, the richest area of Santiago.

            Before Paloma knew it they were all piling into a taxi and heading to Annie’s host home.  Annie was tall and very Midwestern.  She had perfect teeth.  She kept her hair in a blond bob.  Paloma was chaparrito.  Short like her Oaxacan ancestors.  Her hair reached her mid-back and there was a lot of it.  She was plain and that’s how she liked it.  No one messed with her.  Annie had to put up with being stared at like she was in a museum when she walked around Santiago.  There were plenty of blonds in Santiago but not many that were so tall.

            One of the boys in the taxi made a joke that neither Annie nor Paloma understood.  The nuances of humor were difficult in another language.  Many people assumed Paloma was fluent in Spanish but she really only learned Spanish from her grandmother growing up.  Both of her parents spoke English primarily.  Her professors at La Catolica would give her weird looks every time she made a grammatical error when she was speaking Spanish.  Annie and Paloma looked at each other and both made the same decision at the same time.  They started laughing uproariously, feigning comprehension of the joke.  Paloma could always count on Annie to read her thoughts.

            Annie’s host home was dark when they arrived.  Her host family was traveling in another country.  Annie turned her key in the lock and started turning on lights.  Paloma went into the kitchen with Annie to find some snacks.  They put some pan amasado on a plate and brought some manjar out to spread on the bread.  This snack was typically reserved for once but Annie and Paloma couldn’t find anything else to serve.  

            The boys chuckled at their attempt to offer snacks.  Annie didn’t care but Paloma was annoyed.  She was brought up to be grateful at all times.  One of the boys turned and asked Paloma if she was studying on a scholarship.  She, of course, assumed he thought this since she was Mexican.  Paloma’s curt reply in Spanish was that her parents were paying for her tuition.  The boy went on to ask her what her parents do for a living.  Paloma told him that her dad was a pediatrician and her mom was a nurse.  The boy turned to his friend and raised an eyebrow.  Paloma was starting to boil.  She knew where this was headed.  She decided to make the party very awkward.

            “¿Pensaste que todos los mexicanos estan laborando en los campos?”

            The room got quiet and Paloma could see the boy trying to backpedal his comment.  Paloma knew this was the reason she didn’t have a boyfriend.  Every time a boy started “mansplaining” and fronting how smart he was, Paloma would pull the rug out from under him.  She would never stroke anyone’s ego.  Men didn’t like that about her.

            Paloma didn’t want to leave Annie alone with all of these boys but she also didn’t want to stay and make nice.  She signaled to Annie to meet in the kitchen. 

            “I’m ready to go but I don’t want to leave you here alone with these tipos.”

            Paloma could see that Annie was choosing her words.

            “Paloma, why do you always have to go for the jugular?”

            Paloma shifted her weight to her right leg.

            “I can’t play dumb, Annie.  I just can’t.  I’m sorry.  I know I’m no fun to be around sometimes.  I can’t pretend that these boys are in any way interesting to me.  Are they interesting to you?”

            Annie started putting dishes away in order to channel her nervous angry energy.

            “Paloma, I don’t analyze every little thing that people say.  That’s your problem.  You are waiting for someone to offend you.  People say dumb things, Paloma.  Don’t crucify everyone.”

            Paloma was shaken.  The problem was that Annie was right and Paloma knew it.  However, she was too tired to analyze her own personality.

            “I’m sorry for being a killjoy, Annie.  I’m just tired of everyone’s assumptions about me.  Can you tell these guys that we are going wrap things up?  I can’t leave you here alone with all of these boys.”

            Annie nodded her head and gave her friend a quick hug.  Annie walked into the living room and politely explained that she and Paloma were tired and needed to go to bed.  The boys agreed and immediately obeyed Annie’s request.

            After the boys had gone, Paloma helped Annie clean up the kitchen.  They promised to meet at Au Bon Pain for bagels the next day.  As Paloma walked to her bus stop she started thinking about why she had come to Chile in the first place.  Two words.  Magical realism.  

            Paloma began studying Spanish Literature after she discovered the magical realism of the great Mexican authors.  There was really no other writing quite like magical realism.  People could fly and things would transform at any moment.  The first time Paloma’s mother read her Eva Luna she was hooked.  She could still hear her mother’s steady voice, making the story come alive.  

            Chile had so many great magical realism authors that Paloma thought it would be the perfect place to study abroad.  She didn’t anticipate all of the frustrations her heritage would bring to people’s assumptions.  

            When Paloma arrived at her bus stop, she looked up at the clear sky.  She thought of her mother and started to get homesick.  Her mother had loved the Pleiades constellation.  Paloma wasn’t sure if she would be able to see it from the Southern hemisphere.

            She scanned the sky and realized that the Pleiades are above Orion in the Southern hemisphere, whereas, they are below Orion in the Northern hemisphere.  Although this configuration was upside-down to her, she still felt somehow anchored in the universe.