Half the Size of God

Jake turned away from his mother’s current one-sided shouting match with the driver in front of them. He looked out the window as the phone towers ran past them. ‘Probably to get away from her screaming. Would that I could be so lucky. Too bad they are all chained together or they could escape more easily’

“-maybe you should pray to God for some driving lessons! It’s a miracle that you managed to find the keyhole you moron!”

Jake turned to look at his mother’s face. Her lips were compressed in anger. He decided to speak. “Maybe they are having an emergency. Like having to rush to the hospital.” She kept her eyes straight ahead. Her tone was as gritty as the road, “Then why wouldn’t they call an ambulance?” Jake replied tentatively, “Would you be able to afford an ambulance?” She was silent now. He couldn’t tell if it was out of anger or if she was thinking what he said through. He hoped that she was experiencing a rare moment of self-reflection.

Her thumbs flexed as she still gripped the steering wheel a little too tightly. The passing fields made a less stressful preoccupation than that, so he turned away again. ‘See, this is why I don’t want to drive. It makes them both so angry.’ He couldn’t bear the starchy silence any longer, “How much longer do you think it will be?”.

She flicked her head to his side of the car, “Check the map.” Jake reached by his feet to grab the atlas that was trapped by crossword books and snacks. He leafed through the spiral bound tomb until he came to the familiar highlighted pages. He traced his finger from their last stopping point a little way and held it there as he looked up for a sign to tell him where in this hell-hole they were. There was nothing but fields, telephone towers, and endless road in sight.

Jake looked back down. His finger moved across the map but the path wasn’t making any sense. Until he saw that he had made the grave error of a misdirected turn. He felt a surge of adrenaline bore up his spine and spider-web through his head as his eyes grew wide with a sharp sense of terror. ‘Oh, she’s not going to be happy about this.’ He didn’t want to ask, he hoped that he was wrong about being wrong. He dared to risk the question, “Do you know where we are? Which road we are on?” She was annoyed as she said, “35 North. Still.” He froze, and kept quiet as he tried to calm down. Deep, silent breaths. He gave her the right directions. They were still on course.

The shards of anxiety slowly melted from his mind. He kept his eyes glued to his finger tip, unseeing, as he heard his mom’s voice. “So? Are we on track?”

“Yep.” Jake put the map back in its resting place and decided against asking the time related question again. If the question caused confusion or started a fight, he’s not sure he could handle it after that scare.

‘It won’t be long now. Just have to make it until tomorrow morning at the latest.’

‘I might as well take a nap; it will help pass the time.’ He brought his knees up to his seat-belted torso and rested his head on the window. He hated how it made his teeth chatter as he closed his eyes and tried to de-stress. The hum of the road was annoying but the seat vibrations were soothing. Time was passing with human silence until his mother pressed a radio console button to continue the cd story that was stopped during the previous driver confrontation. Something about a woman named Charity and a man named Selfish. Jake had heard it many times before on these trips. It was easy to fall asleep to. It was finally peaceful. He could relax.

In his dream he opened his eyes and looked into the distance of the fields. There was a large older man there. Bigger than any skyscraper. Jake’s dream knowledge knew that it was God. It’s eyes scrutinized Jake. It reached behind itself and pulled out a rifle and aimed it at the car. Jake thought he could feel his heart beating faster. He felt panic as God raised the rifle to its eye and pulled the trigger. A teeny figure came from the far-off barrel. He couldn’t tell what it was, but it grew closer and became larger until it was half the size of God and was running right for him.

It was Jake’s mother. And the imitation was approaching fast. It ran as though the car were a forest boar and hadn’t eaten in days. Its brows were furrowed, its face twisted. It screeched as it chased the car. It stumbled as it rounded the back of the vehicle. Jake turned to warn his driving mother but when he turned his head his face was next to the driver’s side window and watched the monster clamoring and clawing its way to where he sat. He looked down at his hands which were on the wheel. He tried to steer but the car would not let him. It was out of control. He turned his head to see the beast chasing him up the length of the swerving car until it was running right next to him and looking directly at him, so focused and intense. She looked manic.

Jakes hands were glued to the steering wheel. He couldn’t move as she punched through the glass and latched on to his wrist. As they wrestled for control, the car became even more out of control, jerking across the road. Jake felt terrified and weak up against this rampaging visage on its warpath. The car was tipping over more with each jerk until it was falling over. They were crashing.

He turned from her onslaught to focus on the road. God was Standing there, as big as before. As they thrashed towards it, it transformed from a much older man into a huge Jake. Time slowed down as the giant spoke:

“See, my servant will act wisely;

he will be raised and lifted up and highly exalted.”

Jake’s adrenaline was flooding his body as the car crashed into the road and rolled. He couldn’t scream.

His eyes opened. He was in his usual spot of the passenger seat. His mother was still driving. The familiar story form the CD continued on. He knew that his mom saw him look at her. But did not acknowledge it. Did she see him look at her? He didn’t care. He was just glad that he did not mumble or scream, which would cause questions. He could pretend that it never happened. He could pretend that everything was normal.

“-kings will shut their mouths beca- beca- beca-.” Oh no. Here it comes. The radio has skipped before. The mother spoke, “work in Jesus’ name.” The radio replied,”beca- se- se- se-.”

Her voice grew loud again “I command you to work! I plead the blood of Jesus on this radio. Talk to it Jake, tell it to work. Command it.” Jake put his hand on the radio, like he was taught to and echoed the same words his mother shouted.

He tenses as he hears his mother. “You will respect me, as a child of God I command you!” The radio was too afraid to defy his mother for long. Jake wondered if it only started working again to get her to stop screaming at it. Jake leaned his head against the window. There was peace once more. For now, at least.