Matthew 10:20 For it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.
Pete veered his head from the pavement ahead to me and said, “So, did you enjoy our road trip?”
“Um,” I said, feeling despair and discomfort, “Yeah, Pete. It was a good trip.”
A slight pause filtered the air for a short time as Pete rotated his head back towards the road ahead. From there, Pete’s eyes kept fixated on the upcoming road.
“You sure?” Pete said, having concern in his tone.
“Yeah, Pete,” I muttered.
Pete pondered as the seconds passed, leaving an emptiness of tone roaming the truck.
“Okay, well, huh,” Pete mumbled.
Silence followed for a time and then, Pete, [obviously feeling troubled by my responses], said, “You sure you are okay, Jeromy?”
I gazed at Pete; my eyes carrying so much sorrow, “Yes, Pete. I’m fine.” (I did not want to tell him what had been trapped in my mind for the duration of our time).
“Okay,” Pete said.
I began pondering to myself: ‘Maybe I should tell Pete?’ ‘I don’t know. I don’t really want to tell him.’ ‘It is probably not a good idea; maybe I will just try to keep quiet.’
“You don’t sound Okay, Jeromy,” Pete abruptly said.
I rolled my eyes upward, feeling annoyed by Pete’s compulsiveness.
“I don’t want to talk right now, Pete,” I replied. I paused my words; then, with authority, I said, “You don’t want to know what is going through my head right now.”
Pete zipped his head towards me and looked at me for a split second. Afterward, he turned his attention back to the pavement ahead. A moment later, with concern, Pete asked, “What’s going on in your head, Jeromy?”
Again, I pondered whether I should tell Pete or if I should simply keep quiet about my horrid mind-thoughts.
“Okay, Pete. I'll tell you,” I said, “But you're getting the honest answer?”
“That’s what I want,” Pete instantly responded.
I carried a harsh voice as I said, “I want you to crash this truck right now and me die from the crash.” (I felt this way for the duration of Pete and I’s road trip).
In the sliver of a moment, Pete responded, "Pray for it."
Pete’s response caught me off guard. I was not expecting such a ridiculous reply. I mean, ‘pray for it.’ What the heck is Pete thinking? I started pleading, "Pete, the Creator can't just go into my head and fix it! I have doctor’s medication at home that fixes my mental state; medication that calms my mind and rids my inner negativity.” I paused my words for a slim moment; then, “I have to wait until I get home to take them, and then about a half an hour after, my mind will be back to normal.”
“Well just try to pray for it, Jeromy, ” Pete said.
‘What a bonehead reply,’ I thought to myself, ‘How could Pete possibly think a prayer could cure my mind-thoughts.’
Afterward, I said aloud, “No Pete. I already told you. The Creator can’t just go into my head and fix it. My medication is at home. I have to wait until you drop me off at my place; then, I can take my medication, and about a half an hour later, I will feel good again.”
“Come on, Jeromy. Just pray for it,” Pete pleaded.
“Shit Pete,” I replied, “Are you crazy? Pray for it. You sound nuts.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes.
“I’m not crazy, Jeromy. I am just saying that I bet the Creator can fix the problem in your brain.” Pete carried sincerity in his tone.
“I don’t think so, Pete. I don’t think that sort of thing is even possible.” My voice carried surety.
Our argument continued for another minute. Then, almost as though the Creator was speaking through Pete’s mouth, Pete said, "I know your prayers have been receiving a lot of 'Yes' answers lately, Jeromy."
(Pete’s remark---yet again---caught me off guard: How could he have possibly known my prayers were receiving 'Yes' answers. I understood that Pete was a spiritual guy and he tried keeping close to the Creator by saying prayers and whatever else, but how could he have possibly known my prayers were receiving ‘Yes’ answers. I didn’t even know for sure. My conclusion was simply: ‘Pete could not have known my prayers were being answered.’ (however, going by the look on Pete’s face and the sincerity in his voice, he knew). Therefore, I wondered how he knew. At that moment, it may have been Pete speaking, but it certainly wouldn't have been Pete who knew my prayers were receiving ‘Yes’ answers. This may sound strange to you, but is it possible that somebody was speaking through Pete? Is it possible that Pete’s words were related to this Bible quote: Matthew 10:20 For it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you?)
Anyway, after Pete said: “I know your prayers have been receiving a lot of 'Yes' answers," my bickering and pleading not to pray halted. I said, "Alright, Pete. I'll pray." (I figured that by me praying, I could prove Pete wrong, and he would stop being so compulsive with his words).
I took a deep breath in and out and began the prayer, "Heavenly Father, I truly don't know what is going on in my head; all I know is that I can't get by without my medications. I am hoping you can fix the problem in my brain: The anxiety, the fear, the internal negativity, and the suicidal thoughts. In Jesus' name, I pray?"
Instantly---a tingly/feathery feeling began swirling ever so gently on the top of my head. Quickly, I found myself dumbfounded. Something was there; something was definitely there. Was it the Creator? Neither Pete nor I could see what was swirling on the top of my head, but something was most definitely there. A slight panic set in as I glanced at Pete, wondering if he also knew what had just happened? Did he understand that the Creator had just dropped from the heavens above and landed on the top of my head?
The tingly/feathery swirling continued as I sat without a slim movement. The tingly/feathery swirling then drifted ever so slowly down the left side of my head until it reached my left ear. During the next few seconds, the tingly/feathery feeling swirled over my left ear, growing and shrinking in diameter as the seconds passed.
Pete sat in silence as his eyes wandered back and forth between the road and me.
Unexpectedly, the tingly/feathery swirling entered my brain, then: A flash of brilliance followed as an unexplainable sensation pulsating within my brain, giving off a spread of subtle pinches inside my skull.
Instantly, my negative mind-thoughts vanished. My suicidal thinking disappeared, replaced with a joy that I had not felt since I was just a small boy. The inner feeling was unfathomable. The moment paused as I pondered: ‘Was I dreaming? Did this really happen? Did the Creator really just perform a miracle on me?’
Five-seconds after the miracle, Pete, having inquisitiveness in his tone, asked, “Did it work? I know something happened, Jeromy. So did it work?”
I sat dazed and confused, thinking I would surely wake up because this had to be a dream. Then, with hesitation in my voice, I said, "Um, um. I'm not sure yet, Pete.” I paused for a split-second; then, “Give it a minute, and then I will let you know." (I thought this entire situation was taking place in a dream; therefore, I would soon wake up).
Directly after, I began chatting with Pete. I actually don’t remember much of what we talked about; however, I recall lots of laughs, and my inner joy sat way up high as if I were sitting on a cloud in the sky. Minutes passed in a flash and for a time, I forgot about the miracle; however, as Pete and I were talking amongst each other---suddenly---I remembered the miracle and quickly found myself pondering this new feeling: ‘I felt as though I had been introduced to a new soul, one that was long-lost since I was a wee toddler; like I had just been born again with the happiness that I displayed during my childhood.’
Afterward, I remembered Pete’s question that he had asked a few minutes earlier when he said: “Did the prayer work?”
I turned to Pete and said, "It very much felt as though you knew my prayer was going to work, Pete. I mean, you went on for minutes trying to persuade me to pray. I told you ‘No,’ over and over. And yet, you did not give up on trying to persuade me to pray. I hate to say this Pete, but, at times, your remarks sounded a bit compulsive; you weren’t going to give up.” I halted my words for a short time; then, I asked, “Somehow you knew there was going to be a miracle, didn't you?"
Pete gave off a jolly smile and answered, "I'm a spiritual guy, Jeromy." A brief pause followed; then, "You think I don't know what the Creator is up to." Pete smiled and gave off a chuckle: “Hahaha.”
(Under normal circumstances, I would have thought Pete was crazy for saying ‘he knew what the creator was up to.’ But, he was so persistent in persuading me to pray that it felt like he truly did know what the Creator was up to.)
The rest of the ride seemed like minutes as we laughed, joked, and smiled. Time passed as though I had entered a time machine and launched ahead one hour.
A strange phenomenon was taking place during the remainder of the ride: The tingly/feathery feeling had not left but remained swirling, giving off subtle pinches just over my left ear. [The Creator was definitely there].
Matthew 10:20 For it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.
Our road-trip ended; we arrived at Pete's house: The two of us walked into the house. We both stood in the porch area where shoes and jackets were to be placed. Pete, standing just feet away, looked me directly in the eyes; then, the Spirit of the Father spoke through Pete, saying," ... ... ....... ........ .......... ....... ...... .......... ............. .... ....... ........... ............. ................. ......... .......... ............ ......... ..... ....... ....... ......... ......... ............ .... ......... .... ........ ........ .... ..... ...... ........ ........ ........ ...... ........ ........ ...... ....... .... ...... ...... ..... ....... ....... ....... ...... ....... ....... ......... ........ ........ ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ....... ...... ...... ...... ...... ....... ...... ...... ...... ..... ....... ....... ...... ...... ...... ....... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ........ ........ ........ ........ ........ ......... ........ ....... ....... ..... ..... ...... ......... ......... ......... ........ ........ ....... ......... ............... ........ ......... ...........”
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I have incorporated 'underline' to go along with parenthesis for my personal voice during this story. A fellow writer mentioned that I should incorporate something different rather than just parenthesis for my personal voice. I am asking whoever reads this their thoughts towards the change?
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