Decision of Life

                    Every person made decisions over their whole life. The first decision time for being the person was choosing the family. People always said they couldn’t choose their family or parents. That was their fate. I must say “No, it wasn’t”. The person who was ready to go to human world, they had to stand at the gate of life. Then, they can able to choose which parents will be their but there had still limits. If the person made the decision and chose their fate will follow after. Like this way, I chose my parents actually during the decision time I saw their current situation at the gate of life. So, I decided to go to poor woman who I chose to be my mother. I started my life inside my mother’s womb and I was analyzing the outside environment by myself. I knew you may think of me as crazy but I said the truth. I can only hear the voices out there I try to figure out what they were doing. One day, I felt my mother’s sadness which can put a pressure to my heart. So, I closed to mother’s stomach and put my ears to collect the data from outside. At last, I knew my father had a girlfriend outside and he wanted to marry that woman and divorce my mother. Later, I heard my father’s horrible decision over me too. He threatened abortion to my poor Mother. Mother denied his decision because she had miscarriage two babies before me. Now, I knew I was the last one for her and she knew she will die if she gave birth of me. But she made a decision to give me a life. Since that day, I connected to my mother with many other ways. I hated my father before I came into this life. Like I thought before he really did that horrible decision to me.

                     I wasn’t lucky when my father leave abroad for work then I came in life as a baby. Because the doctor’s fault I was sinking into labor and couldn’t breath. They put much efforts on saving me but I had to live under the lights over month. After month, I could go home with my mother. I felt the serious pain all over my skins over the whole month because I got burn. When we got home, my grandparents and great grandparents from mother’s family weren’t fully welcoming me, I knew that’s all because of him. Then, I made a decision again here to change myself as a lovely baby who can attract everyone to love me. I had many pains left and couldn’t even smile as normal but I tried my best. Those are things my mother will never know. One day, my great grandfather figured it out my secret. He watched me close and he said “you are different than any other baby I ever had before, tell me why are you here”. I looked back to grandfather with smile but I denied to say a word. When I was 1 year old, I can learn the foreign languages from tv shows and I loved to watch the tv. My mother always denied me to watch the tv only grandparents knew what I like to do. Years passed, today was my 4^th birthday party. I could say 3 languages including my mother language. But I was being hard to pronounce the mother language most. At that time, my family started interest over me because my talents and brilliant brain. I wasn’t the smart mind kid but I could collect the data from surrounding and quick to learn and hard to forget. They decided to sent me to the special school also but there had a problem in financial. So, I ended up to be smart like other smart babies. As my mother’s decision, I had to go to local school where the very ordinary babies went. I lived there as a normal child over years without showing my talents and special skills. When I was teenager, I hated to learn history, geography and mother language. My best talents were over physics, chemistry, mathematics, biology and etc. I never went to school events and interest groups. Because there had no one who could follow my mind. Living with people who hadn’t talent and intelligent and bright in brain was being horrible for me including the teacher. The fate never give me a chance to leave out of this mess. I had to make a decision to enter one interest group for passing the exam and entering the school events for getting the grades too.

                      Those all passing by time. It was my time to made a decision again for life. That was choosing the college and major and minor courses. Actually, I didn’t want to enter into local university and college. So, I decided to apply to the foreign university’s scholarship. I made it by myself and I got it after months later. When I got a letter from the university, I discussed with my mother about it. But all the time my mother wasn’t a person who can make decision. That was my hateful father who can make a decision. Then, I discussed my father about that, he denied it without thinking back. My life was drowning and I lost my chance to go to foreign university at that time. I do believed I can go up high without his help and support. Since that time, I never speak with him again and also my parents lived in separate life. After that I was entering to the local university and doing part-time, the professors and classmates loved me I knew they do. Only me working hard at there, they just followed my works none of them supporting me. When I was in final year, the two great companies gave me a chance. There I go hard to make a decision again. So, I wrote down everything including likes and dislikes which depends upon their company’s public image. At last, I made a decision to enter into the media company which can make creative designs and arts for advertising. When I working part time marketing I started interest in that part. Over the years staying at that company make me feel like boring. So, I made a decision over learning the other subjects to improve myself. Then, I found many other way out which can release my mind a bit. I didn’t let go of my formal job but I can parallel with informal interest job too. Actually I am very impulsive person who never regret over things already done. That was my life and the most indecisive person here is my father. He regretted over marrying my mother and having me. I wanted to give my advice if you didn’t know which one to choose in decision time do as your heart or brain said they will never lie to you but if you have much time to make a decision so wrote down everything like I did.