If You Will

My child! Oh, what we will do, what we will build! I have so much to show you but in time. Today we walk. So very new and unaware you are, yet your eyes swim in worlds of wonder. You will never search for light, you also will not take cover from it in the shade. Light will be your sword against all unclean and fearful. Tomorrow... you will run. You will fall. You will cry. You will sing. More importantly than all of these you will love.

"My child, why do you run from me? Don't you know I can see you?" Young as my son is, fifteen is plenty old enough to remember my omnipotence. "Father. You are all that sees me. Why are there none like me?" "There are others, and you will become like them. Have patience, there is much you must know before you can fulfill your destiny." Quietly, and with a quickness he muttered, "You mean fate." "Now where did you learn a word like that?" "I made it up," he lied as if he forgot again who he was. I know he was eavesdropping when I had been explaining a human concept to my angel Lorvelle. 

"Son, I will explain to you one more time, but in a new light. For you will enter into the death life with or without understanding fully. Most crucially in navigating the sea of death is the virtue of patience and hope. You will have the insight to be able to pass this hope to many others but only if you act as if you believe it as well." "Now that I am 30 and my departure is at the door, why do you choose to reteach me this lesson? Why is it so much more important to remember?" "You can be told for a thousand years and still not understand. You must live this lesson to learn it. Much like the others you will give example to. They only lack the light that you will bring."

Now has come a year since my son has been born unto the death life. Although I fear not, I dread to see him inevitably in pain. Ah, there you are. It pleases the life in me to see you've made a friendship. Alison is a sweet girl. She may turn out to be a great partner in your fight to pierce the darkness. "Father, I wish I could hear your thoughts about this girl I met. She seems to like me, and I think I like her a whole lot. Anyway just checking in... I can't wait to see you again!" Shine on son, I see great things in store for you two.

As each year comes to pass I see new victories and new pitfalls come to fruition for my son. Because I cannot interfere with the death life I have charged Lorvelle with watch of my child. He can do all except force the hand of another soul. In recent reports, I have learned My son and Allison have grown very deeply apart. As is the case with many other connections. No bond in the death life escapes breakage. "Father..... I hate this feeling. I can't seem to change anything. I can't change my mind about Allison. I can't erase her from my heart. I suppose I should not want for something so fiercely impossible. I know you can hear me so I'm asking you to relieve me." Stay strong Amil. You have all that you need. In time you will discover that the lessons you learned before your departure have been imprinted onto your spirit. It is impossible to lose them, you must not forget them. 

The last time Amil had prayed to me was years ago. I know he loves me, and he knows I love him. Regretfully I know he forgets from time to time. "Lorvelle! What news do you bring me?" "My lord, I bring news of pain and hope. The pain is sadly grown to a heavy standard." Knowing this is what must be I ask, "Has he kept his hope?" "He has his hope, but the darkness is a mighty teacher. It knows no bounds." "The world knows how to ignore the light with cunning. Amil walks closer each day to the shadow cast by death. He fears now not only for his life length but for and about others. Do you have any new instructions for me?" "Lorvelle, you have always done exactly what you must. There is no more you can do than that which you have been charged with, thank you. Now go to him."

"It's been a long time now since I have talked to you. Most people say I'm crazy. I'm beginning to think they're right." My son's final prayer for the remainder of his days, except for the one he will pray in his very last. All men instinctively cry to the heavens on their last day, some only to curse it. My son has not fully forgotten me, but alas I have faded out of view. Lorvelle has preempted many a fatality, yet Amil does not see. He sees only the terrible these days. He sees what the darkness sees, a way around the light. I can only hope, for that is the mission. Today I elect to look down to him personally. I see hate in him. Hate comes to forget why pain hurts. It's louder and hotter. Whilst distracted from pain's source, one can forget light's healing nature. My son must find a way to remember the simple true cause of his deep pain. This truth will also remind him of pain's cure. 

Harder and oh so much harder is it to watch and hear of the struggles and strayings of my boy. He lives alone now in his old age, untrusting and unriled. Remains of anger became deafened by sorrow and desperate stillness. There seems to be no light to hide from. Those that were meant to receive the light of hope from Amil's love come to eagerly receive his darkness. Lorvelle has the authority to trap Amil in his choices to keep from making more deadly ones, but the world crawls to him in droves of insatiable shadow zombies. Lorvelle can feel it all. His heavy charge is akin to a dense star in the pit of his heart. He also loves my son. 

On this his last day, though he knows it not, he finally calls out again. However, this once it is not I he addresses. "Allison, Lorvelle, and everyone who ever loved me. I'm sorry for throwing away the love I swore to keep. I wish I deserved to pick it back up. Even if I did, I can't remember where I left it."