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Crime Fiction Teens & Young Adult

Hestia could hear heavy breathing over her comms.  She could also hear sirens. As the sound seemed to get closer she started to worry. “ Ares check-in. Can you hear me?” Hestia called through her comms 

“Loud and Clear!” Ares confirmed.

“What’s going on? Are you okay? She couldn’t imagine what she would do if he were in danger. His dad would never let her hear the end of it.

“ Don’t worry I’m A Ok! The cops seem to have gotten the idea that I’M the criminal.” Okay, everything was fine. She just needed to get over there. Wherever “there” was.

“Athena, can you track where Ares is?”

“Yeah, He’s Headed towards the Gamorah Courthouse”

                                                        ~...~ 

When on the rooftops Hestia could feel like she was flying. The wind felt harsh on her face, her eyes started to water and her lips were chapped. She wished her costume had goggles or a face mask like Ares and Athena. Hell, Athena never went out and he still covered his entire face just in case. As Hestia followed Athena’s instructions the sound of sirens started to double. She heard them both over comms and outside. Eventually, she could see Ares’ outline in the red and blue lights of the GCPD cop cars.

“Took you long enough, better late than never I guess” Ares shouted mockingly over the noise.

“I could have just not shown up to save your dumb butt,” Hestia remarked, jumping down from the roof and over to the officers.

“Look, I want to go home, all I’m here to say is that this is all just a huge misunderstanding, I’m sure Ares and I can clear this up officer…” Hestia trailed off hoping to see a name somewhere.

“Jones.” The officer supplied shortly “ And I don’t think there's much to clear up, we caught your friend over there breaking into a jewelry store and he fled.”

Over her comms, Hestia hears Ares mutter something about “The one time” and “ Those xxxx cops”  It’s not like she could argue, the cops in Gamorah never really cared and, definitely not over a simple robbery. Sure some of the cops cared. It was just bad luck that Ares got caught by one of the few who did.

“Look, Officer Jones, he didn’t mean any harm and if you had investigated a bit more you might’ve seen a group of people dealing drugs” Hestia explained, trying her best to seem as sweet as she could while correcting the cop. Hestia was mainly pissed that she messed up the plan and that they would have to start from the beginning, there was no way that the dealers would use the same front now that they knew Hestia and her crew knew where it was.

“Ma’am, I don’t care if someone else was there, I didn’t see it. I did however see that boy over there breaking into a jewelry store and it’s my job to put criminals like him in jail.” When Officer Jones said that all Hestia could think was Oh so she’s one of those types of cops. She probably got paid off to ignore it but still seeks the feeling of being a good person. Those attempts just had to be focused on the wrong people.

 “Your little group of reckless teenagers dressing up in costumes and wearing those silly masks. You won’t even go out in the day. There’s a reason the people of this city miss the commander and Pompeii, at least they knew how to be there.” Hestia gave up, she wasn’t going to be able to win an argument with the lady and she just wanted to go home to her cat, Sparrow.

“ Okay, clearly you don’t like us so why don’t you just let it slide this time and we’ll be out of your greasy hair.” Hestia ended the conversation and started to turn towards Ares as he flew towards her picking her up to get back home.

~...~

“ My god! How was I supposed to know that a cop was watching?! I had triple-checked everything! God xxxxxxx xxxx it!” Peter was clearly pissed, Bianca couldn’t even judge, he had been working on stealth for months so Bianca understood why he was so upset. They decided to check the cameras in and around the jewelry store just in case the dealers decided to keep the front however unlikely. They just lost their biggest lead. Weeks of work thrown out the window cause of some cop putting her nose where it shouldn’t be

“It’s not like we can do anything about it now, we just have to start over” Clay started “As much as it sucks we’ll be even less prepared if we don’t sleep and both of you guys have school in the morning.”

“Alright, fine, we can call it a night” Bianca knew neither Peter nor Clay believed her when she said that. She gave in way too quickly and she was clearly still upset about the numerous sleepless nights she spent neck-deep in files that were just wasted. Even knowing she wasn’t going to get any sleep she changed out of her Hestia suit. Once she got to her mask she could see just how dark the underneath of her eyes were.“shit,” 

 As Bianca headed to her room for the night she passed Ms.Morgan and Chief Osborne telling them goodnight. As happy as she was that their headquarters were in the basement so she didn't have to drive to get home unlike Clay, she found the amount of floors she had to climb just to get to the family rooms annoying. 

The first thing Bianca did when she got to her room was grab her laptop and get working, allowing Sparrow to sit on her lap and try to get in the way. She knew she had a test in the morning and a meeting as the Jameson CEO but this was important. She’d just grab a Red Bull on the way to school and be fine.

 Outside her door, she heard Peter and his dad, Frederick, talking.“I don’t know, I’m starting to worry about her. She’s got a lot on her plate, I mean just being a senior is hard but she’s also taken up both of the jobs that her parents gave her and being a vigilante. Plus, on top of all of that, she just lost her parents. It feels like she’s trying to drown herself in work.” Bianca could tell from the deeper voice that it was Fredrick talking. She appreciated where he had been coming from but, really she was fine. She made her choices, just like Peter and Clay, just like her parents. Ignoring it, Hestia grabbed a Diet Coke from the minifridge she kept in her room and kept looking for the dealers they just lost. 

~...~

Bianca woke up to her alarm clock screaming at her, a pounding headache, and her cat jumping off of her. She hadn’t known when she fell asleep but after a quick glance, she could see all the paperwork and files all over her room. Grumbling to herself she got dressed in her school uniform, put her hair in a neat braid, and finished getting ready. When she went to the kitchen she saw Mr. Osborne waiting with eggs and some toast. She made herself some coffee and waited for Peter to get downstairs. 

Throughout the drive to school, Peter changed what was playing at least six times, never quite figuring out what he wanted to listen to. He seemed suck in thought most likely thinking the same thing as Bianca, the encounter with the cop last night. He got like this when he felt like something was his fault. She assumed it was because he wanted to make up for how he acted when he was Commander Freedom, Peter still struggled to see how much he’s changed since those days. The cop comparing them to their past alter egos most likely worsened it. They had both known that when they had stopped going out as Pompeii and Commander and started going out as Hestia and Ares, people were going to make assumptions but it needed to happen as they couldn't do anything if people went out of their way to follow the duo and get in the way.

It wasn’t like they had planned for it to go so far. Some die-hard Commander Freedom fangirls claimed that Pompeii and Commander had run away to be with each other without the huge spotlight on them. Which was just gross, Peter was her brother. The other theories were a bit less vomit, inducing like Hestia and Ares killing Pompeii and Commander. It sucked that she apparently killed her own identity but better than dating her brother.

By the time school got out she had a bit more energy. She got a text from Peter telling her he was going to go to Somchai 's Basketball practice and got a ride so she didn’t need to take him home. That gave her extra time to get ready, curling her hair and putting on a suit. 

When she entered the Jameson firm she had just enough time to grab another Red Bull from a vending machine and head to her office on one of the top floors. Bianca understood why Frederick wouldn’t let her drop out, but being in an office all day hidden from the world and not needing to interact seemed so much easier than going to school. As she waited for the representative from the other company she pulled up the information from last night. She got further along than she had once she got sleep and had a clear mind. After a bit, she started to walk around her office. It was smaller than she remembered from when she was a kid following her parents around everywhere; still much larger compared to the other offices in the rest of the building. She had a few plants and some other random decor she couldn’t get herself to take down from when her parents worked in it. 

Hearing a knock she quickly closed out any tabs related to the night before, preparing herself to talk about whatever new offer these guys came up with. She called him in.  

“Good afternoon Ms. Jameson it’s a pleasure to meet you”

November 06, 2024 15:56

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4 comments

Carolyn O'B
00:33 Nov 14, 2024

I know how hard it is to get good feedback so reach out anytime.

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Parker Benton
15:40 Nov 14, 2024

Thank you I'll have to take you up on that

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Carolyn O'B
19:15 Nov 10, 2024

Nice hook to start off your story. Grammatically, your story can use several commas. I use the speech to text feature on my computer or you could simply read your story aloud to decide where your commas should be. [Her lips were chapped] this is a nice detail, use more of those. [The first thing Bianca did when she got to her room, was grab her laptop and get working, allowing Sparrow to sit on her lap and try to get in her way] that sentence is a mouthful. consider instead, once Bianca got to her room, she began to work on her laptop while ...

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Parker Benton
16:10 Nov 13, 2024

Thank you so much! I've been struggling with that sentence ever since I introduced her cat. Thanks for letting me know about the commas, I had just edited the story when i posted it and there had been even less before. So good to know that i should use more

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