“Come for Coffee and See My Latest Gadget!”

There’s something about engineering students that gets them into trouble time after time. Once qualified, however, they are a gift to mankind. Inventing, designing, building, making, from micro-machines to skyscraper buildings; they can do a million different things. The nonsense starts in the learning stage when they believe they can do anything after a couple of years of learning. 

Don Peters, a student in my year, was a car nut. He had bought an old Austin 7 convertible motor car, 1936 vintage, and taken it to pieces in a garage. He cleaned what he could, bought, found or made all the missing or rusted or broken pieces, had a new canvas hood made, and put it all together again. He painted it British racing-car green and rode around the streets of our town. People oohed and aahed as they watched it going by. “My old man had one of those!” was a cry heard more than once from crowds of admirers.

On campus, the car was seen regularly, often surrounded by students who were admiring the interior or rapping on the body to see if it was real. Don became adept at inviting pretty co-eds for a drive. He also became a great success at making changes to his beloved car. He changed the color overnight. He added accessories. He had a set of new seats made. He changed the canvas top. He also restored the car so that it was factory-fresh 50 years after it was made. Everything worked perfectly. The doors swung open on well-oiled hinges. The windows rolled up silently. The fine-tuned engine was chromium-plated. The lamps shone brightly. The joke in the lecture rooms was that Don slept with the car next to his bed. 

It was in the canteen one morning that Don stood up and said in a loud voice. “Everyone listen up! I have a great idea for an April Fool’s Day prank. Will all those interested please come and see me at 6pm today. I need quite a few volunteers!”

That evening I strolled over to the dormitory where Don lived, a 100 yards away from mine. I found about 8 other students sitting around in his room. Don was pacing up and down the small room and puffing on a cigarette. He appeared to be deep in thought. Then he looked up. “Gentlemen, I have put together the best April Fool’s prank ever. It will go down in history. It is unbeatable!” We all craned forward so as not to miss a word.

“You all know my car, right? What we are going to do is to put it inside someone’s room. Hopefully, one of the professors or at the best, the Dean’s. It’s an ‘easy’ one. Is that a great gag or what?”

Dead silence answered him. Everyone was thinking: how do you drive a 4-foot wide car through a 3-foot wide doorway?

“It’s easy!” shouted Don. “I have spent the best part of a year measuring, weighing and calculating and it’s doable! All the dorm blocks are built a few steps up from ground level. Eight of us can lift the car. Once it’s up the steps we push it to where we want it and proceed to take it to pieces. The largest piece is the chassis which we turn on its side, pass it through the doorway, three men outside and three men inside the room. Then we re-assemble the thing and move it to the center of the room. We leave it there, close and lock the door as we found it, and go away. That’s the whole joke, guys! How does it sound?” 

A long silence answered him.

“Anyone who doesn’t want to be part of this grand prank may leave now.”

No one moved.

“Okay! Let’s find out which of the professors and the Dean will be away for the eve of April Fool’s day. Who will do this?”

It was Pete Robinson.

“Okay, Pete. Let me know as soon as you can and we can make preparations.”

To our great delight, the Dean had planned to be away from March 28 to April 2nd at a conference. We had loads of time. He would come back and find a green sports car parked on his carpet!

So on the evening of March 28^th, we gathered at the steps outside the Dean’s dorm building. Don rolled up at about 8pm and we lifted his car up the few steps and into the hallway outside his room. “Easy’ as promised by Don.

Don unlocked the simple mortise lock on the door and then set to work dismantling parts of the car. The main job was the windshield and the wheels. The wheels practically came off by them- selves while Don undid the few bolts holding the windscreen. Three of us lifted the body, turned it on its side, and passed it through the doorway into the hands of three guys waiting inside. Another ‘easy’.

Re-assembly consisted of bolting the wheels back on and fixing the windshield in place. A third ‘easy’. 

Ten minutes later the car was back to its 1936 elegant self. We pushed it into the center of the carpet and made off to Don’s room where a bottle of bubbly was surrounded by bottles of beer. We attended to those and sprawled out to wait for morning. The ‘big easy’ was over.

What we thought would take us a few days had been done in an hour. We spent the next days wondering what the Dean’s reaction would be. Would he seek out the offenders? We would have to show ourselves in order to remove the car…

April fool’s day arrived and passed. Then it was April 2^nd and finally April 3^rd. The Dean was home. Not a word. Not a sign. Not a phone call.

For all we know, the damn car is still sitting on the Dean's carpet and he’s probably showing it off as a trophy. “Come for coffee and see my latest gadget!”

***

The guilty group never met after their night of excitement. They were also too nervous about the stunt they had pulled to talk about it. So the April Fools prank of the century remained unknown.

Don descended into a black mood. True, no money had been spent or wasted. No one had been injured. Everything had gone as planned. But it was a complete failure. No prizes, no medals, no photos in the newspapers. Nothing. And to cap it all, his beloved car was gone, sitting on a carpet in the dean’s apartment. Don ground his teeth in frustration.

I bumped him in the canteen one day.

“Let’s have coffee, Joe,” he said. “I have an idea, but this one is crazy. Tell me what you think.”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to steal the car.”

“Okay. How?”

“A night job. Say 3 or 4 in the morning, when the entire campus is asleep. Same team as before. Same job, but in reverse. We start inside and finish outside.”

“No noise?” I asked.

“Not a drop. Everyone wears their sneakiest sneakers. Nobody talks. I’ll put tape on the wheel spanners. We’ll leave the windscreen off. Pass the car through the door without touching sides and when we are outside I’ll put the wheels back on and push the car out onto the street and I don’t start the engine for half a mile. What do you say, Joe?”

“Sounds good to me. As long as no one sneezes or coughs, or we don’t drop the car on anyone’s toes. When?”

“What are we waiting for? Tomorrow night.”

“Count me in,” I replied.

Two days later we finally made the headlines. ‘Car stolen from Dean’s apartment.’  

Of course, the Dean had some explaining to do. Students pull the April Fools Prank of the year!