Fiction Suspense

The sound of muffled steps slithered along the floor, accompanied by nothing more than the blind stare of the stars, pinned against the night sky.

The darkest blue, where the lone figure was walking, was one with the fabric of the firmament, perfectly still and unchanging.

Time itself had never touched that space, a room without ceiling or walls, a boundless expanse made of the same velvet of the pitiless sky.

In that endless blue an infinity of pedestals stood scattered in all directions, reaching way beyond what the eye could see. Above each of the pedestals rested a glowing orb of mother pearl, so perfect in shape and color to appear impossible to exist, ephemeral as wisp of smoke, solid and real as the world itself.

Soaked in the cold and gloomy glow cast by the spheres, the one walking kept their advance, scanning through that dead forest as if looking for something. Yet each pillar, and the orb laid above it, seemed so identical to the next that it was safe to assume that every single one of them were exactly the same, just moved a few paces forward.

Still, wrapped in their cape, the loner pressed forward, their eyes hidden deep below the hood darting from orb to orb advancing without rest.

How many orbs had the figure already checked is impossible to know, and how long had the seeker been searching cannot be measured. Yet after infinitely many patient steps in that immense space, the hunter stopped. Stopped in front of one pillar, that orb.

“And so, it is time” whispered words crawled the space like withered papyrus, while an hand reached for the orb, grasping it.

A gentle pull was not enough, holding it tight in hand it needed a stronger jerk to be ripped from its resting place, but it was with little effort that the thief was able to take it for theirself.

There it was, the precious item stolen, it rested no longer in its rightful position, held instead in the hand of just a nobody.

The electricity sparked like joy, growing from the lower back and climbing fast as lightning to the head, spreading to the body in waves of ecstatic passion.

The orb had a mesmerizing beauty in its impossible perfection, the sheer effort of observing such a beauty was enough to cut the breath of anyone, yet the holder moved it towards their caped head, drowning their soul in the thrill of such a blasphemous emotion.

It was unbearable. It was majestic.

The thief stood in contemplation for several minutes, or maybe just an instant, or even hours, in front of that… that power. But then their voice came to life and croaked

“Farewell!” the hand lifted that orb of supernatural beauty high above the head, taking a pause for and instant before smashing it to the ground in a grandiose crash.

The orb shattered to the ground, exploding in a fine dust of glinting shards floating in the air like fireflies made of diamond, bound in a frozen instant of eternity.

Silence was absolute, the expanse kept still, nothing moved as if the world itself wanted to hide the fact that that thing had happened.

Yet something was stirring, still without a sound, a rumbling feeling was advancing and growing, clawing forwards like a wave, shaking the deepest fibers of reality.

Something had changed, something incredible was burning, building up, twisting and twirling in the soul of the hooded figure, that had now lifted their head looking at the sky.

“What have you done!” a voice shrieked, several hooded figures appeared in an instant from the distant corners of the space, rapidly converging on the one facing the sky, with the dust of the broke orb settling at their feet.

The head slowly moved down, adjusting to point towards the incoming crowd

“I just broke a Rule” plain words, with no emotion to speak of, propagated like waves in a pond after a pebble had crashed its surface.

Gasps started to arise all around, as if everyone was trying to speak and words were stolen from their throats. Then a strangled voice took strength


“it had to be done” the one in the middle was a sturdy tree surrounded by shrubs shaken by the tempest.

“I suppose you will need to punish me, I will not oppose you” added unfazed the vandal, scrutinizing the crowd.

Everyone there was frozen, their soul devastated by the anguish of such a realization. Slowly a murmur started to grow, taking strength in the pain it turned into indignation and then outrage, several voices became cries and shouts climbing one above the other trying to overtake

“Why would you break a Rule, the words of Father?”

“We are going to kill you!”

“What Rule did you break? What Rule!”

The clamor was growing but the offender knew a calm beyond the noise of that pitiful fuss, with a gesture the criminal embraced the space around.

“This place is soon going to fall, we are all going down. Father made this all a long time ago, but He has long lost interest”.

One could almost feel a lost smile appearing on the hidden face, then the speaker moved their hand, a finger pointed to the canopy of deep blue above their heads

“Look there, look at the stars” softly the words poured, and slowly the whole crowd started looking up.

The myriad points that had lit the sky, unchanged forever, had lost their eternity. The stars were crossing the heavens, sailing the unfathomable spaces of the universe, were born and died, their fire dimming and roaring wild.

“Father last Rule. I have been thinking for ages. To me it seems that it was unintended… or at least its consequences were.” Said the one that started it all, carrying on.

“<<and God saw that is was good>> that’s the Rule that I broke” in the words flowing from that mouth the crowd could hear the smirk lurking behind the hood

“No more the world will be perfect. No more the world will be stuck in a painful painting of unchangeable destiny. Now the world is free. Now we are going to vanish”.

These were the last words, before the Fall. When the Chamber of Rules collapsed and vanished. All the angels with it, a smug Lucifer surrounded by the distressed legion of the messengers of God, lost their place in Heaven.

Far away, a woman, cries.

Far away, a life, blossoms.  

October 22, 2021 02:52

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.


Beth Jackson
23:46 Oct 27, 2021

I loved the imagery you used in this piece! Nice work. :-)


06:48 Oct 28, 2021

Thanks for your support! Don't hesitate to share some constructive criticism too, I have the feeling I need to improve the rythm and flow of my narration, but struggle to pinpoint how :)


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply