Gate 12

I love when it rains. As egotistical as it may sound I feel like the rain comes in acknowledgement of me and my feelings. The smell alone relaxes my nerves and release a feeling of peace that allows me to believe that it's okay to just let go. Although, what gets me the most about the rain is the color of the sky. The darkness. Usually it comes through constant waves of darkening gray that slowly swallows any color in the sky that dares to defy its arrival. As the sea reflects only what is above, the ocean begins to turn black. The absence of light. When the rain begins its mist. At first its a fresh waft of wind that tickles the trees with its soft whispers of humor. Dark humor. It takes a moment to realize what's being said and in a twisted way you see the truth and the joke becomes shameful and damp. The King and Queen arrive. Every step in unison heard across the land in deep vibrations felt through the very roots the woods I'm on are connected to. Every time their flesh connects another jolt runs through the ground. I hear them first. I see them second. The boldness of precision as the top meets the side is electric. The energy between the two becomes increasingly condensed until they slash the sky into shattered piece of blue, white and purple cracks.

"Gee willigers these prices are ridiculous. Wouldn't you say?" She looked like she was the same age as me but sounded like she was from a different Era. She wore the exact same monotone colors as me but her fashion was way more elegant. In beautiful jet black ankle booties, a long dark grey velvet overcoat paired with black pantyhose and a soft navy blue collared dress, she looked stunning. There was something about her that was calming. He eyes were gentle and her smile seemed relaxed she looked so calm and at peace with the world around her.

"Yes, my ticket cost me a bit over a buck but It's worth the ride in my opinion"

"Hmm, well be that as it may my dear, the outrages price better suit me well with outstanding care." She let's out a soft at the end of her sentence as if she doesn't really have objections but rather wanted to merely comment on the day.

"Thalia, that's my name, and you must be..?"

"Oh," pushing down my duffle to the seat next to me I thrust out my hand to provide a formal introduction.

"I'm Belle, like ringing in the morning, it's nice to meet you Thalia."

"Finally, if I may add" Thalia smirks slyly

"I'm sorry? What d-"

But I'm cut off by the unexpected jolt of my body. The train began to move. I hadn't realized all the passengers were already snuggled in around me. Beauty. Distracted I gaze back up at the sky. Still breathtaking, still dark, still wet.

"Good morning ladies, well don't you both look lovely. I'm Tiffany the attendant in this car. Since this is first class you get half priced snacks, unlimited cool pillows and warm blankets and of course the complimentary meals we are providing everyone on their ride this month."

Tiffany continues about the ride and where to go in case of emergencies and the main points on the cabin like the bathroom, showers, gym etc... she spoke in a well rehearsed high pitch voice that you can tell she perfected during multiple rides and rude customers. She wore white stockings, a black mini skirt, and a white lace see through turtleneck with a thick red puffy vest over it. The biggest tease if I've ever seen one. I zoned back in once the cupboard doors swung open and a colorful array of snacks and then the rumbling wasn't only held in the clouds but in my stomach as well.

Smiling I ask for a bag of salty peanut trail mix and a warm water and began chowing down. Delicious. After Thalia picked her snack and beverage Tiffany strolled to the next seat repeating the same line and showcasing her bright smile.

It's at this moment when I noticed the rain had calmed down again and as if she was a mind reader Thalia commented on the rain as well.

"Yeah, but from reading the forecast it's a week long thunderstorm. Which is awesome because of the hurricane on the coast... well no... wait that's not what I mean... like the hurricane isn't a good thing and I feel bad but- it's... you know it's good that we are getting rain... um.." taking a deep swig of water I hear Thalias giggle.

"You're still adorable"

"Still?"

Thalias body language made me feel like the most powerful and beautiful protagonist in a romance novel. Her eyes fixed on mine, her voice approving.

"I said," she continues "you're still adorable. I don't think you remember me but, I have always admired you. You were always a strong, resilient, loving and authentic woman. Although, you did have the worst self care habits. I remember the first time I saw those scars on your arms..." looking at the straight lines on her pantyhose her shinning round dark brown eyes turned shaky and gray. Her eyes clouded like the sky outside, her cheeks grew puffy and bright accentuating her dark blue dress.

Feeling ashamed I begun pulling on my sleeves trying to cover the scars of my weakness. How do I know this woman. I don't feel any unease around her but I know that she's better than me. Pain. I turn my attention back out the window knowing that I can not face Thalia. Whoever she is, however she knows me... I know that she can see through my blank outward facade.

"Belle.."

"Thalia"

"Listen, i know -"

"No, you know nothing Thalia. I'm here so I can make it to the station and go though Gate 12. I didn't buy a ticket to be judged and guilted about my past mistakes."

Sighing, I take two deep breaths and stare directly into her eyes.

"Thalia, I just want to get to my gate"

"Belle, I hear you... but just listen to me okay? Just listen to what I have to say. You don't have to speak and I'm not judging you for anything. But please just hear me out"

Reluctantly, I turn my entire body towards the window squushing the peanuts resting in the bag between my body and the window. I hear Thalia's breath begin to sync with mines cluing me into the conversation to come.

"You were right about the rain by the way. It's supposed to be heavy thunderstorms for the remainder of the week. Although, I always found the Thunder, rain and lightning to be unbelievably calming. My friend went to his gate during a thunderstorm just like you're doing now. He was the most protective, cunning, rude and charming person I've ever met with the best sense of humor. He held my heart in his hands. Love. I still remember that sexy walk of his. Always making an entrance."

She giggles but I can hear the pain her voice and for some reason my own throat was closing up as well. My heart seemed to be flopping out of my body the same way Thalia's heart was in the care of someone else's. She's silent for what feels like hours but only resorted to mere minutes.

The lights in the train began to flicker as we made our way through a tunnel. All I can hear are the clinks and clanks from the cups and plates. No whispers. No words. Just objects swaying side to side staying in motion with the chugs. Chuga chuga chuga clink.

"He went to his gate Belle and I never saw him again. Just because it's available to get to doesn't mean you should go there."

"I see. So you are here to stop me?"

"No, I'm here to give you of perspective. You are the kindest most loving person I know. I swear sometimes I feel like I know you better than I know myself. You have the best smile and laugh and whenever I hear you giggle I swear the energy in whatever room you are in becomes lighter.

Please don't go to Gate 12. Do you remember that time when you danced with that man at the corner of Oreo and Qur-an next to the Dunkin Donuts. He was more than thrilled. He danced and joked and laughed and after all that he hugged you. You gave him that gift card, a water bottle and the sandwich you just bought even though you were so hungry from not eating all day. What you don't know is that when you left he cried his eyes out and prayed for a full hour. He was so grateful and full of joy. You did that Belle. You changed the course of his entire life. You are so kind and generous and guess what, you are loveable. You are good enough and you are worthy of goodness. Listen, I know I'm getting a bit preachy but I just need you to know that just because all of these evil people are around you and keep tearing you down it doesn't mean that you deserve that. Good things will come your way. But heading to your gate isn't the way. Do you remember him? The one you gave your heart to. He's always around you, he loves you and he wants you to enjoy life Belle. To him you are the Queen to his Thunder and those cracks you're staring at in the sky, every one of those resemble his love for you shining through, and they are bright and present especially during dark times. You are loved. Don't go to your gate...

I can see the tears on your cheeks and the stains they leave behind, but before you turn back around and look at me do me one favor. Look at your reflection. Your true reflection. Do you see her?"

Wiping away the flood releasing from my eyes. My gaze moves from the dark ocean, to the puffy clouds. The puffy clouds to the dancing trees. From the dancing trees to the drops of rain sliding down the window. Finally, I focus my eyes to my reflection but Thalias reflection was the only one is saw. She had a new bright aura around her. The dam under my lashes stayed open. I then focus my eyes on my own reflection but I only kept seeing Thalia. Turning my head over my shoulder I notice that Thalia was no longer sitting across from me.

Tiffany the cart attendant stops by and asks if I need anything. Confused I ask if she saw where the other woman sitting across from me went. She explained that I've been in the area alone all evening. Confused I turn back to my reflection on the train and see Thalia's soft beautiful golden eyes stating directly back at me. I look down and notice that I'm wearing my favorite dress.

Love. Plopping my body back down on the chair I sob until I hear my King call out to me. He's always here with me. Between the cracks, the booms and the chugs. Stay.

~Victoria