Liar, Liar, Riya’s a Liar

“So how was your day at work?” He asks me, placing a half drank cola in front of my carrots. He takes his unsanitizedhands, grabs a carrot from one of the small sections in my bento box, and dips it into my ranch cup. Only Mario can do something like this to me and I’ll actually accept it. 

“Did you drink half of the cola you just gave to me?” I snort a little, laugh caught in my mouth. I need him to know that I’m serious. He just laughs and pinches my cheek lightly. This boy is ridiculous, yall. 

“Yeah, I was thirsty.”

“So what? You couldn’t get your own drink?”

“No, it tastes better when the intent is to give it to you.” Mario turns away from me, a smirk tugging the corner of his lips and it’s got my heart thumping against my temples. He turns back me moving closer, eyes squinted. 

“What?” My heart isn’t just beating in my temples now and he isn’t just looking at me in my eyes. I quickly jerk away from our staring contest. 

“Nothing, you have ranch on your face.” He swipes quickly around his mouth and chuckles when he realizes that I said that to get him to stop staring at me. I grab a carrot out of my bento box and dip it in my ranch. “So what are your plans for today?” I ask him half curious, half being nosey and deciding whether or not to make my next move. 

“I’m not sure yet, why do you ask?” He smiles, rubbing the bottom of back. Now that I’ve been forced to sit upright, I offer him a tender smile and turn to face him. He’s beaten me to the punch because he tracing both my eyes and the mole under my left eye. I remove whatever is in my throat hastily and face my snacks again. 

“I’m not sure yet? What kind of answer is that?” He lets out a joyous noise and leans his head into my shoulder, causing his hand to move to my waist. I watch him carefully. The world seems to move in slow motion when he laughs. I think about the first time we met at our little corner of the world. 

He was balling his eyes out to Goblet Of Fire and I asked him if he was okay. This empty little outside lunch table changed my life forever. No one has been kind to him in such a long time. He didn’t have any friends at University and he was socially awkward at the time. The kind of guy you’d invite to a party and would completely mess it up with girls. Which is crazy, right? Those dimples, forest green eyes, and dazzling smile messed up with girls? Well he did do his hair differently and had zero confidence in himself. 

I helped him clean up and I did a damn good job if I do say so myself. I taught him about flattering clothes, barbers, and how to use skincare. What I didn’t expect was this tension to grow over time. We’ve always been friends but we’ve had more than one opportunity to go further than that. Especially recently, he’s been distancing himself too much because of the last party we went to. My spine chills just thinking about it. I was wearing a leather skirt, my favorite star crop top, and flat white sandals that look like they have braids across the top of my feet. I was dancing with some guy who Mario felt was getting too handsy because I was drunk. Guess what this guy does? He finds the nearest room in this house we know nothing about and takes me into it. 

He’s basically gripping my ass as he slung me over his shoulder to get me away from more than one pair of prying eyes. He gently slammed, if that makes any kind of sense, onto the bed. I laughed because everything felt all wooshy but I didn’t let go of his neck. As he was pulling up from laying me down, we locked eyes. Like a stupid romance movie, we started to copy each others slow breathing pattern against our racing heartbeats. I wasn’t gonna go in for the kiss. I don’t know what came over me. He pressed his lips against mine and I wrapped his legs around my waist. He puts his hands in my hair, pulling me, telling me how he wanted me adjusted. I let out a small sound that resembled longing and he opened his eyes. Pulled himself back, ran his hands through his hair, and straightened himself up. 

“I’m so sorry, Riya.” 

“Wait no, Mario-” He closes the door behind him and leaves me in the room by myself. I cry for a solid thirty minutes before I’m so drunk I forget what I’m crying about and order an uber home. We haven’t talked about it since. 

“Riya, you okay?” He’s tapping my forehead back to current day, causing me to chuckle. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I offer him a smile. 

“Where did you go just now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you weren’t present and I told you something pretty important because I thought you were listening and your eyes glossed over and I knew that you zoned out for a second.” He smiles at me and places his hand on my arm sitting on the table. He rubs it with his thumb. He’s looking at me like competing in the goblet of fire. 

“I was thinking about the last party we went to.”

He smiles so wide at me and pulls himself closer to me. In the following three seconds, he distances himself from me once more. 

“I wanted to talk to you about it.” 

“I have a girlfriend.” He’s smirking. What is funny about this? 

Y’all know that dramatic ass glass breaking sound in t.v. shows? Yeah, it’s ringing throughout my ears right now. When did he get a girlfriend? So he’s been lying to me this whole time? Did he cheat on her with me? 

I have never been the other woman and I always give my friends advice on these kinds of situations. Wait- I did not raise my friend that very obviously have feelings for this way. He’s always been one to respect women. I’m the one who taught him game and how to treat a lady. My face stings and I’m still not listening to him. My feelings have never been surface level for him. He’s kind and he’s the kind of person that will show up when you call. He’s also the first guy to give me my flowers. I worked my ass off during university and I landed an incredible job. He was there, helping me look for jobs before we even graduated. He played my pretend boss when I was practicing for in person interviews. Even though we always come here for our little bestie lunch dates, I always thought that he might also feel the same way about me. 

“You’re not listening to me again.”

“How can I if I’m your other woman.” I wipe my face only to realize my face is stinging because the acid from my tears is a little stronger than usual. 

“Other woman? Oh so you tuned me out tuned me out?” 

“Yeah, I did you asshole.” I stand up and start gathering my carrots and ranch and my half empty cola bottle. He doesn’t deserve my goodies. 

“Riya, please give me just a moment.” Hes holding my arm now, pleading with me. His green eyes shine at me. He’s not letting go anytime soon so I guess I’ll just have to work with this. 

“What do you want?” 

“I should have rephrased my sentence. I’m sorry that I said it in a way that was so harsh.” He starts laughing. Like no more glossy eyes, from his diaphragm laughing. Now, I’m seriously done with him. As I finish gathering up my things, there’s a white rose I didn’t see there before. 

“Did your girlfriend get you the rose? It’s cute, you must’ve been talking to her about me.” This time, he pulls my arm a little harder. My skin turns yellow and then white and then back to my golden olive deep skin. I make my eyes smaller as a warning. He puts his hands up, patting the air with them. Once he puts them in his lap, I sit down. 

“No, my girlfriend loves white roses. I thought she would think my joke was funny if I tied it with her favorite flower but she kind of zoned out when I was giving her my explanation…and asking her my question. I was gonna confess my feelings to her at a party but we drunkenly kissed and I didn’t want something I feel is so important to be done while I was tipsy and she was drunk.” 

“What?” This isn’t happening. No, not with him. I want this. But maybe this isn’t a good idea. What if he doesn’t want me later. He’ll see me weaker than weak if he knows I like him. My friends always encourage me to go after him but I always told them that we are just friends And I mean it. We are friends. 

“I don’t want to date you.” 

“Liar.” There goes that damned smirk. 

“So you like me? And you want to date me?” 

“‘Like you’ is a bitttt of a stretch. I think I can withstand you is better.” 

“Are you fucking with me right now?” There goes that burning, acidic feeling again. His face goes sad and I can’t deal with it right now. I look away from him and gather my things. If I can’t admit I like him and he can’t take his feelings for me seriously, does that mean we aren’t *technically* admitting our feelings for each other?