"Dacker a Physcho in Disguise"(A SNL FANFIC) By 🌙The Green Witch🌷✨

Submitted into Contest #94 in response to: Write a story in which a character justifies an argument with: “Because I said so.”... view prompt


Drama Friendship Speculative


*!!This story contains racist situations and/or comment, please note that I as an author and as a human being respect all of these real people in real life, I would never say anything racist towards these actors and actresses, please enjoy the story but be advised that the character "Dacker" is a character that I created to add "spice" to the story, please do not take this seriously it is just a fanfic.*!!

ENJOY!!!! Please send your feedback in the comments or whatever🙂💖👍


🌙The Green Witch🌷

STARRING: The SNL cast: Beck Bennett, Cecily Strong, Keenan Thompson, Leslie Jones, Kate Mckinnon, Colin Jost, Pete Davidson, Aidy Bryant, Mikey Day, and GUEST STARRING: Rami Malek

Part 1:

Kate Mckinnon was concerned. The SNL cast was all there, except one, Pete. Where was he? Keenan walked over to check on Kate, he had noticed she had been biting her lip. 

“Kate what’s up?” he asked. Kate smiled sightly.

“Have you seen Pete?” Keenan nodded.

“Yeah, he’s fie he was getting a soda...Anyways... Dacker wants everyone behind the set; we’re almost ready.” Keenan walked away back towards where the rest of the cast were standing, Kate sighed she eventually followed him as well. Pete slouched in quickly, soda in hand. Kate closed her eyes briefly.

Well, at least now the episode was going to go right. Dacker SNL’s head producer stood holding the windscreen microphone over Colin Jost’s head where he sat behind the “Weekend Update” desk. 


Colin Jost smiled at the camera. 

“Good evening folks and welcome back to Weekend Update, I’m your host Colin Jost and here joining me tonight are Kate Mckinnon and Pete Davidson, Pete, Kate welcome, glad you could come back.” 

“You know I am!” Pete said. Colin laughed.

“Well, we have an update for tonight’s other episode, it appears that Rami Malek is joining us tonight. Pete, Kate how are taking that? He’s a great guy huh?” 

Kate smiled.

“Hell yeah, ladies listen if I were straight, you all know I’d come running to Mr. Malek!” Colin and Pete laughed. 

“How about you Pete any thoughts?” Pete smiled.

“Yeah he’s a great guy!” Colin nodded.

“Alright folks, let’s move on now Kate you…

And the episode went on and on then Dacker dropped the microphone and sighed.

“Ok people that a wrap!” The rest of the cast members helped clean up the set and redecorate for the next episode that was coming up soon. Dacker pulled Kate aside. 

“Kate!” he said.

“Yeah?” Dacker sighed, Kate could see he was visibly angry. But why? Dacker continued. 

“Is the guest here yet?” Kate frowned. 

“The guest sir?” Dacker sighed loudly. 

“Yes, the guest, Mr. Malek?” Kate blushed. 

“Oh Yeah, Rami should be here soon.” Dacker flinched at the name. Kate frowned.

“Is there something wrong with that name sir?” Dacker shook his head.

“Rami...Rami is that Israeli?” Kate shook her head.

“No, it’s Arabic.” Dacker rolled his eyes.

“Whatever get him in here or he’s gonna be late AGAIN.” Beck Bennett was standing over across the room when he heard what Dacker was saying, Beck being a pretty big guy came over and addressed the situation.

“Hey, Dacker what’s going on man?” Kate frowned.

“He doesn’t like Rami’s name.” Dacker shot her a look of disgust.

“That’s not what I said Kate...”

“Wait, wait wait! Beck interrupted.

“Rami Malek?” Kate nodded. Beck straightened.

“What’s wrong with him, he’s an awesome guy!” 

“That’s my question, why did you recoil when I said his name Dacker?” Dacker was lost for words. Beck felt a bit of anger rush through him.

“What’s the big deal Dacker, he’s an actor, we’re all in this together!” Dacker still didn’t respond. Beck gently grabbed Kate’s arm.

“Come on Kate we need to go over our lines.” They walked into the breakroom together where Mikey, Aidy, Leslie, and Cecily were reading back their lines. 

Leslie looked up.

“Oh hey, ladies!” Beck smirked. Suddenly, the breakroom entrance door burst open. Rami Malek shuffled in, pale and slightly out of breath. Everyone stood up, they had been discussing Dacker’s actions. Beck moved towards him. 

“Hey man, how are you doing?” Rami smiled slightly.

“Good..yeah.. Am I late?” Cecily got up, but Leslie answered for her.

“Baby your perfectly on time!” Rami’s shoulder relaxed and he nodded. Dacker came into the room at this moment, clipboard in hand. He saw Rami.

“Ahh Malek, your late!” Rami frowned as did Beck and the rest of the people sitting in the room all eyes were focused on their director. 

Beck spoke up, 

“What are you talking about? He still has an hour and a half until the next show starts!” Dacker shook his head.

“He’s late!” Leslie stood back up, straightening her posture.

“In whose book?” Dacker threw her a disgusted glance.

“In my book!” He stormed out of the room, the cast quickly rushed to Rami’s side, they all patted him on the back. Cecily who had always liked the actor blushed when he smiled at her, she could feel the tenseness in his shoulders. 

“Don’t worry about that man, he’s...well..he’s Dacker, never in a good mood!” Beck said, they all agreed. 

“Thanks,” Rami said, pulling away from the group and leaving the breakroom to get changed into his costume for the episode. Cecily pulled Kate aside.

“Kate, what the hell is going on I saw you talking to Dacker what’s happening?” Kate sighed, but she replied.

“We all know Rami is of Arabic descent right?” Cecily nodded.

“Yeah and?” Kate sighed again, trying to hint at something.

“Dacker doesn’t like the Arabic community, especially people who are Arabic and who are actors.” Cecily drew back, Kate sensed her anger and saw the wave of realization wash over her face. They shared a look of knowing until Dacker called them out to finish up the set production. 

Rami had changed into his costume and was reading over his lines. Beck had struck up a conversation with Mikey, meanwhile, Kate stood alone taking deep breaths and running her lines back through her mind. Finally, Dacker announced.


Kate, Mikey, Beck, Cecily took the stage and were halfway through the sketch then Rami came onto it, Kate noticed his hands were visibly shaking as the sketch went on, and when it ended, Dacker dropped the microphone and came up to Rami. 

“Malek!” he sighed.

“Yes sir?” Rami asked attentively. Dacker rolled his eyes, Kate grimaced, she noticed all the caste as watching secretively away from the two. 

“You need to be more convincing!” Dacker continued. Rami frowned.

“Sir? What do you mean?” Dacker sighed, Kate could hear the disgust and anger creeping up into his voice. 

“I MEAN...I mean that you need to be more aware of your body language, Jesus you looked like you had no clue what was going on!” Beck came over followed by Cecily and Leslie, they listened in as Rami responded.

“I think I’m just tired sir, that’s all!” Dacker snorted.

“Well tired isn’t going to cut it, not on my watch, get your act together Malek or I’ll find a way for you too.” Beck stepped in front of the actor and the director, his brow furrowed.

“Now hold up, Rami just doing his thing, we’re all nervous before we go out on camera, it’s normal don’t bash him just for being human.” Leslie agreed.

“That’s right!” Dacker sighed lazily.

“All I’m saying is that he should be more present in the acting that’s all!” Beck straightened.

“You’re the director, you should be focusing on all of us, that’s your job, not just pointing out the bad in one of us, we all make mistakes and if you haven’t noticed, it’s 11:43, we’ve been doing this since 6:00 am we’re all tired, so, why don’t you keep your opinions to yourself?” Rami stepped forward out from behind Beck.

“Beck, I’m fine, I-

Beck cut him off.

“No, your not fine Rami!” He stepped back towards him putting his arm around the actor’s shoulder.

“You know what I respect this man, he’s one of the kindest people I’ve met and probably the most hardworking,” Dacker smirked.

“Hardworking? If his hands are shaking then is that ‘hard work?” Cecily spoke up now, the whole entire cast was focused on Dacker. 

“Dacker, anxiety is a real thing, I have it, it sucks, shaking hands is normal when you have it.” Dacker didn’t respond. Kate now spoke.

“Yeah, Beck’s right, your a disgusting racist man, just because one of us here is Arabic or Jewish or Hispanic, they should be treated how you treat the rest of the cast, but, if you keep this up, I don’t think I’ll be coming back!” There were gasps amongst the crowd. Rami pulled away from Beck’s hand. 

“Guys, I’m fine, thank you but I’m just gonna go back home!” Leslie moved forward.

“No, Rami stay we want you here!”

“Yeah” was heard around the room. Dacker rolled his eyes again, clearly not budged. 

“Whatever, just get back onto the set Malek and get your game face on!” he walked away picking up the microphone again, waiting for the cast to go back on the set.

Leslie guffawed.

"And why should he do that? His acting was perfectly fine from my view!" Dacker shook his head walking away.

"Because I said so!"

Beck moved forward towards Rami.

“Come on man, let’s get this sketch done for tonight!” Rami smiled. 

Racist or not, he’s a jerk he thought to himself, little did he know he was in for a long road ahead of him. 

End of Part 1

May 15, 2021 04:04

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J. Storbakken
07:14 May 16, 2021

Like the racism fetters of Freddie Mercury's (link intended) personal history. I love the use of art as a scalpel in social surgeries. Well done. Great storytelling. I love your imaginative techniques.


Maddy Writes
20:40 May 16, 2021

EXACTLY!!! I thought writing about this that actually happened will bring more into light that it isn't just all rainbows and unicorns behind the scenes of any movie especially Bohemian Rhapsody!


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Maddy Writes
00:34 May 17, 2021

Should I do a 2nd Part??? Let me know!!! :)💖


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