Uproars and Benedictions

I have a limited arsenal of internal movements at hand given to me for explaining my plight, so if focus is frenetic then I shall implore the reader will entertain that I scramble in reciting my last utterances alive like slurred declarations concerning a passage into stillness that is transient, whereas all other which I surface is tenebrous in inhospitable abandon. So I ask that the reader be unflinching about observance so that I may leave understood, notwithstanding my vanishing reserve not only depleting me of alacrity but also seldom twist my range for locution into tightening knots. For it is in this narrow patterning do I approach you with the circumstances bringing me here, jaundiced with the scales marking my banishment that in having been punished in accordance to this ordinance, there can be no destination ahead for me that is not the end beyond my remaining utterances representing what total breathing tandem done between inhalations and exhalations, nine hundred agape during pandemonium, and counting onward.

It all started when I had no longer took upon myself for the pious endeavor and paid visitation seated under the limestone awnings inside the chapel where weekly a sermon would lift us from our partitions shouldered by everyone's wide-eyed fear that scripture tried for us to view instead as love unbeknownst. But one day, when I made the egregious miscalculation and blinked long enough for me to sense a gap vast emerge below our town's tearful observance of the lord above, that in seconds bound for no other sake than to grovel at a Being too vain for their worshippers to be witness of the sculpting belonging to the divine, I was shaken free from this monotonous liturgy once unwavering, now leaden in my hearing as if loudness was enormous after letting one too many hosannas be flung for us, as if without such instruction we would be nothing but the arpeggios of defaced tabernacles, starving.

Eight six five was the sequestering consisting in the trammel our bodies would surrender our ascetic harvest without having sustenance for ourselves that was anything beyond what gruel the clergy would ration as truth and nourish us likewise, however sparingly it was served when scripture would prevail to dump the mush of holy illnesses in heaps in front of us, our faith supple as the tongues lapping this mélange from where we knelt thankful for our troughs. But in having a lapse between feeding and believing in having one eye blink a second too leisurely among the ranks and hour, I was no longer able to stay obedient like a panting dog at my emperor's new clothing while I lick splintered droppings shat out this vainglorious carpentry, this tyrannical edifice staggering near echelons empyrean, levitating languid legs dipping diagonal downwards lackadaisical as if flamingos wading motionless past ataraxic cloud sculpting, resplendent in furnishing power from our emaciated jowls. Sincere bleating of this congregation big with rotund sow! A willing slaughter I am remiss to be the sole ownership my birthplace was constructed to be butchered streets of blacktop stretched, filleted and infused with invigorating malignancies that fatten the townsfolk and myself, bloated dervishes that swerve on hooved instep top-heavy, bodies near bare naked under espying by our omniscience, milling together and dispersing anointed in the mainspring eddying our own filth throughout decorous dungeons, all of us bulbous churchgoers slovenly and spherical overflood with such a reservoir of bilious falsehoods. The holy mission of all servants is promulgation of our marshland dung, mounding into earthenware that is the earthenware many ancestor built our topography so our settlement may be placed as the underbelly below the mountainous temple clad in scat, and all our baptismal cisterns tawny from the hissing showers sluiced from laughter supernal. I was imputing that my township, my home, my faith and my traditions were less sacred and more a corpulence where godhood gawks at the droning whimpers that what living has no choice but to be kicked again and again just to be savored as the ineffable amusement in being tall enough to smile exalted looking down upon the litters are dashed until sniffing snouts, asking for handouts.

So sooner than my seditious wink curves too early among the thronging of mongrels whom daylong did I once join them in pallid pause, praise the kiln warmed by excrement being produced as the surplices of a cruel  and scrawny sentinel we all humiliate ourselves for saying Kingdom Beyond All Matter Cover The Pain Spoke Moaning From The Elucidation of Surgical Lights Overhead A Knife Brightening Deathless Wallow Unsung, recondite. 

Discovered, I was defamed among my type as a soulless pariah. My front doorstep emblazoned in scarlet scribbles rubbed off the shank tore out doubtless from one between many bleating sac of lard and sanctimonious gristle could belong to hatchling multitudinous, personage anyone from my mother or my dentist or my rapist all venerable folk willing to chew me apart just as they would do to any beloved member belonging to their stock. My cardinal sin would be ascribed to truancy before the sacraments where hindquarters furnish the undulating content of bowels. I was late groveling side by side among my neighbor’s placatory outpourings. Mistaken in thinking my selfhood free from the bacillus of my hometown’s manure. The effluvial spewage was implacable as if our sewage was the climate of our limitations in consciousness, range of expression that didn’t resemble the usual grunts and belches which emanate, as many of us were taught, from the sign that providence has commenced in emptying itself bare arsed and our clergy shrieking nonsense about a nation’s stranglehold in packaging meat which conforms to whatever form that happens to come in judgement for all, in varying severity depending on moral injunctions not entirely clear for the mortal to discern. 

My home is blind to me as how termites orchestrate their likeminded greed. That I cannot return to my enshadowed plot where sapling wrought-iron perpendicular covering partial rooftop only safeguarding weightless hearth of turd stomped and dried as greying orange canopy. It is an uncomprehending mercy that germinates tensile calm, that I cannot return back alongside the mounds where I had once been a joyous bonhomie when in prayer, I chortle mouthful of suppurating bliss ringed with sonorous piss shot from a seraph.

So the wind will ejaculate me unwanted for consumption is having known that I will die once shorn from licking at the lowest earthenware reachable as part this benediction this glandular radiance vomits handsomely down from hemmed at this gluttonous throne.

Never emerging, disenfranchisement smarting from the leprous knowledge our conditions and keenly tasting, touching, hearing, smelling, and reflecting upon opaque poolside where I will no longer enter, but feet shovel onward and had went forth. So for our sake, all matter should transpire.

I die eaten and screaming for every second I am permitted cognizance of remaining life.

Thickeningpaleeyelesskindredsliceroamingroastingparasisticlookingglassacolorlessbeastalcovedinburningeeavessingedoffwoodenthimblefurnaceflarehighheighteningthestenchthesteamsightseeinggrowlsguffawingthunderstormpiggypigpigfullerthanafigdomesticizingdarknessanddroughtmyrealitysurfacingassurfeitdrycounterfeitvomitousuglywartyruraltownsfolkhookedtoswimandascendinflavorpriortowhentheydie

Flattening happenstance. I squeal, and my youth pours from my puckered grimace until I am slain like a litany callow in the sagging largesse of disgust, of sacrilege unbecoming. Swim and descend.