A Friend to Treasure

A Friend to Treasure

Leisurely sitting at a Thai restaurant and having dinner with my friend, Eva, we talked about friendships. I said I didn't have many friends in quantity, but I had a lot of quality friends. Eva said the same was true for her. We proceeded to describe the quality of friendships we had. When I shared some, they stopped her in her tracks, as if in competition in comparison of stories; Eva said, "Well, I never had a friend like that. I never had a friend that helped me that much." Feeling proud, I continued to share details about a kind, generous, and compassionate friend I have in Selina.

When I was on the brink of losing my house, my business, and my boyfriend, I asked Selina to take a trip with me to Taiwan to drown my sorrows. Though she could not go with me, she voluntarily made arrangements for me to stay with one set of her relatives each week. She told me I would experience how each group lived: the poor, the rich, and the middle class. That would be interesting, I thought. Most importantly, I was down and out of luck, love, and money. Not only did Selina make these arrangements, but it was all free for me. I got to learn how each class of people lived there. I couldn't be more grateful to have someone do this for me in such a time of need. What an incredible friend I have in Selina. I came back to the USA ready to rejoin the living and move forward in life.

In another instance, my grandmother, who had a significant influence on my life, passed away. It was unexpected news for me, but worse was I was not told about it and only accidentally found out about it when one of my sisters only mentioned it in passing while conversing on the phone. Desperate to go but fearful of going because I was not "invited" created a dilemma. I called Selina, a family-oriented person, to ask what I should do. She told me to go and that she would go with me. Because Selina was willing to go with me, I found comfort facing my family. Because I also needed a place to stay before the funeral, I called another friend, Sonny, for help. To my surprise, he was also willing to help. Suddenly what was going to be a heart-wrenching trip flying from the west coast to the east coast became an exciting trip to look forward to in a matter of a few days because I would have two great friends by my side to support me. Though I knew I had two exceptional friends in Sonny and Selina, I was still astonished by what they did for me.

I have shared these two stories many times, and to each listener, none could top these friendship stories of mine. But Selina's thoughtfulness didn't stop there. Always thinking of my well-being and looking out for me like a big sister does or the sister I never had, Selina even found three boyfriends for me "off the street." Though I already had a boyfriend at the time, I didn't see marriage in sight with him, so Selina proceeded to "search" for a new boyfriend for me. Like a mother, she wanted to marry me off! And she is only a year and a half older than me. As it turned out, two of the three boyfriends proposed marriage to me. Though none of them turned out, I thought Selina was a successful matchmaker because she probably said good things to these strangers about me that led all three guys to want my number and date me. I had a lot of fun, too!

There was more to come in Selina's kindness. Knowing that I was fearful of long drives and needed to drive 6 hours to move from one city to another city, she volunteered to help me with the drive. While the drive may not seem like a big deal to many, it was to me. When another friend found out about it, she asked Selina how she had the time to help me and why she bothered to help me on such a long drive! The help alleviated a lot of anxiety and helped me solve my problem. I thanked Selina many times for all her assistance. She would often say it was unnecessary and that she was just doing what was needed.

As if all that she did for me wasn't enough already, she shared more of her generosity with me. I am a person who hates to ask for help and will usually only ask when I find no other options. Thankfully, when I ask Selina for help, she is there for me.

It was the year 2020 when the worldwide Covid-19 pandemic hit. I had already been unemployed for eight months and hanging in there for three more months before moving abroad. Unexpectedly, travel bans ensued, and I could not leave as planned. This situation caused enormous stress as my savings were rapidly depleting. More, nearly all my belongings had shipped overseas, and if a representative from the USA or I didn't go to sign off for the arrival of my possessions, they would auction off my belongings!

The pandemic created three monstrous problems I did not anticipate encountering. How do I sign off on my belongings when there is a travel ban? How would I continue to afford rent while waiting for the ban to lift, which was unpredictable and could be indefinite? Three, with the restrictions on travel, how could I travel within the limitations?

I tried everything I knew to do and finally asked Selina for help. I was reluctant because I still didn't like to ask anyone for help. Anyway, she helped me solve all three colossal problems! One, she traveled in my place to sign off for my possessions because she had citizenship in that country; I couldn't because I was not a citizen there, and the travel ban did not allow noncitizens to enter. She flew there and had to endure two weeks of quarantine that she said was not enjoyable. I felt awful for her but knew no other way of saving nearly all my life possessions. Two, Selina welcomed me to stay at her house rent-free until the travel ban lifted or until I could find a way to get through with the limitations of the travel ban. No one knew how long the crisis would last. My stay would be indefinite. Luckily, Selina helped me successfully solve the third problem two months later. I had tried different ways to apply for entry without success. Finally, Selina had an idea, all legitimate, and I proceeded with paperwork. It worked! I was traveling to my destination where I had a job waiting!

Faced with many challenges throughout life, Selina was there for me on some occasions. Graduate school graduation, marriage, moving abroad for the first time, moving abroad for the second time, she was there for all those significant occasions. You may say I am lucky to have such a friend, and I probably am, but should you have the great fortune of knowing Selina, you will find that she is even greater than what I could put into words. Consider this, all her life, it seems, she has had to take care of a disabled sister, then a mother with cancer until she died, and then an elderly father until he died. All the while, she had two careers, a husband and a daughter to care for too. I don't know how she juggled it all and where she even has the energy to care about me.

Indeed, I am most fortunate to have met Selina. I treasure this friend and want her to know what a treasure she is; I only hope to be a better friend, a kinder friend, a more generous friend, and a more compassionate friend like her. There are still good people in this world, and I am lucky to know one like Selina.