Selkie Sweet

Connor settled on his couch at the end of a long day. Not that he didn’t like his work in the library, he loved it. A little peace and quiet was just what he needed in his job. Just sometimes, the peace and quiet could drag a little. It also made times when it was disturbed even more jarring. If he had to have the same conversation with Miss McPherson about her late return fees again…

Still, going down to the beach before coming back for the night had helped relax him. He’d always loved the smell of the sea, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. It helped remind him there was more to the world than what happened in his little corner of it. He’d even done something of a good deed for the day, returning a beautiful for coat to a woman down near the water’s edge.

She’d behaved a little oddly though. She was a sight to behold. Big blue eyes with a long matching gown, shimmering like it was crafted from the very waters of the sea. Flowing waves of ginger hair. Skin so pearly smooth, she wouldn’t look out of place curled up inside an oyster. When he’d returned the coat to her, she’d given him this look like he was from another world. No thank you, no words at all. Just staring at him. He’d made some excuse and left. When he looked back before leaving the beach, she’d vanished.

It was something of a strange encounter to say the least. There were some fine looking girls in the town of their island home, but nobody like her. It wasn’t even tourist season. Maybe she was one of those backpacking types? Oh well, it was over and done now. He was about to turn on his TV and sign into Netflix, but something happened that he didn’t expect.

There was a knock on his door. A very frantic sounding knock.

That in itself would be a little odd. What was even odder was the fact that Connor lived above the library, which was closed and locked for the night. The only way to get in touch with him up here was the buzzer outside the main door and he’d have to come down to let them in.

Was it a burglar? But then what kind of burglar knocks first? Maybe it was someone really desperate to return a late book. He looked around for the nearest heavy object, a rolling pin from the kitchen. Just to be on the safe side. He slowly approached the door. The knocking had upgraded to a hammering.

“Alright, alright now,” said Connor when he reached it. “Calm down, I’d rather not be spending money on a new door. Who is it?”

“You know fine well who it is!” a musical, irritated voice snapped back.

“Can’t say I do. If you’re wanting to check out a book, you’d be best coming back during normal opening hours.”

“Opening hours?” She scoffed. “Well that’s just daft. What kind of place isn’t open all the time?”

“Most places. Now get going or I’ll be calling for the Guard.”

“Oh I don’t think so! Don’t you think you can just brush me off after the stunt you pulled on the beach!”

“Beach. Wait a moment…” He unlocked the door and opened it. “You?”

“Oh, now he remembers.” It was her. The woman from the beach. She held up her coat. “You mind telling me what the hell this is?”

Connor stared at the coat. “I’m trying to think of an answer that’s not the obvious one.”

“You think this is funny? Do you have any idea what you’ve saddled me with?!” She stormed past him into his home and turned to face him. “Now, let’s try this again. This time, you’re going to do it properly.”

With that, she dropped her coat on the floor and looked away from it. She folded her arms and started tapping her bare foot. Connor looked at her, then down at the coat and back to her again.

“Well?” she snapped after several seconds had passed. “Come on now, I don’t have all day.”

“I… think I must have skipped a few pages here,” said Connor. “Look, miss, I’m going to have to ask you to-“

“My name is Niamh,” she interrupted. “And since you’re obviously daft, I guess I’ll have to spell it out for you.” She spoke like she was addressing a slow child. “You take my coat. I am betrothed to you. We have children. That clear enough?”

Connor stared openly at her. He stared for a long while. Then, he did the only thing anyone else would do if a beautiful woman demanded you take her coat so she can marry you: he laughed. This did nothing to improve her mood.

“Oi! Stop that! Stop it, it isn’t funny!”

“How… how can it not be?” he managed to say when he stopped. “You’re calling me the daft one? Steal your coat so you marry me? I didn’t realise I was talking to a selkie.”

She let out a frustrated sigh. “Ah, just when I started to think you were entirely devoid of common sense. I’d have thought the signs were obvious, but I suppose you can be forgiven if you’re daft in the head. Now we’re both on the same page, we can-“

“Hold on now, hold on.” He had to fight back a fresh round of laughter. “Now, I’m not sure who’s put you up to this. Was it Seamus, down at the Rock and Shoals? This seems like something he’d do.”

Now, it was Niamh’s turn to stare. “Who in the hell is Seamus? Look here, if you’re not going to stop fooling around-!”

“I think it’s clear who the one fooling around is. I know full well that selkies are children’s stories, myths. Fine stories to be sure, but that’s all they are.” He paused. “Well, perhaps not fine. Stealing some poor lass’s coat and forcing her into marriage. That can’t be right. But still, that’s all they are. Stories. Now, if you don’t mind, while your company has certainly been interesting, I’ll have to ask-“

“Just stories? Just stories, he says?!” Niamh looked like Connor had accused her mother of impropriety. “Fine. Looks like I’ll have to make this clearer for you.”

She stepped into the coat and pulled it up over her shoulders. The moment it touched her body, she began to change. Her legs merged together, developing a furry texture. Her feet morphed into appendages more akin to flippers. Her hands and arms took on the same colour and texture, her fingers becoming like flippers too. Seal flippers. Her face too adopted this quality, her hair changing from fiery ginger to as pale as the moonlight. Her eyes widened in their sockets, their pupils growing until they were almost completely black. Even long pale whiskers sprouted from the side of her face.

All of this happened in less than a minute. She curled up on the floor as she transformed and when she was done, threw her arms out.

“There we are, see?” Her voice had a slightly bubbly quality, like she was talking underwater. “How’s this for ‘just a story’, eh?”

Connor had nothing to say. He was fairly certain he’d have to pick his jaw up off the floor. A selkie. A selkie in his home. In his home, on his floor. The stories his mother used to tell him before bed, right here in his living room.

“Now we have that cleared up, I think it should be clear to you what comes next.” As casually as if she’d just sat down to tea, she slipped the skin off and it turned back into a fur coat. She stood up from the floor, back in her dress and once again turned her back on it. “Go on now.”

“But… but I…” Connor shook his head to clear his thoughts and managed to arrange them into words. “Now, you just hold your horses a moment. I’m not just going to steal your coat so we can get… well, so we can be… you know, so we’re-“

“Married? It’s not a dirty word, you daft bastard,” she said impatiently.

“The daft bastard has a name and it’s Connor,” he replied. “And I’m not forcing you to marry me by stealing your coat.”

“But that’s how it goes! You steal my coat, we get married, have children, they get my coat back to me and I go home. It happened to my mammy and her mammy and her mammy before her and on and on.”

“Well my father never married a selkie and I’m pretty sure none of their fathers did either, so I’m not keen on starting some new bizarre family tradition, thanks.”

“Why? What’s the matter, not pretty enough for you?” She folded her arms and glared. “Or do you think you’re too good for a selkie woman, is that it?”

“No! No, none of that! You’re gorgeous,” he admitted, feeling his cheeks go warm. “B-But I’m not just going to force you to marry me! You’ve only just learned my name for Christ sakes!”

“What was it again?”

“For the love of…” He pressed his hands to his face and groaned. “Right, how about we have a sit down and sort this out?”

Connor moved to the sofa, gesturing to an armchair next to it. Niamh regarded it warily before settling into it. She kept her back straight all the while.

“Right then, Niamh. Do you want to get married?”

“Want? Not really. Not right now, at any rate,” she answered.

“So why the rush? You followed me back from the beach, broke into my place of work and have done all but throw yourself at me. Am I really that desirable?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, you’re not that good looking.” Her cheeks flushed a little at this. “I just… you wouldn’t understand. You’re human.”

“Right now, for all intents and purposes, so are you. Try me.”

She gazed at him searchingly with those wide, fierce blue eyes. After a moment or two, she broke off eye contact and stared across at her coat.

“I just thought… this is what was meant to happen,” she said quietly.

“You mean like what happened with your mam and all the others?”

“Aye,” she said quietly. “I just thought that, if it’s going to happen at some point, might as well get it over with. No-one else came by the beach the whole day and when I saw you… figured I could do worse…”

She hugged herself closely, looking at anything in the room except for Connor. She was practically squirming in the chair. He didn’t know what to say, not at first.

“Niamh,” he began softly. “I’m sorry that’s happened to your family. Sorry they were treated that way. It wasn’t right, what they were put through. Nobody should be forced into anything, especially not marriage.”

When she spoke, her voice was just above a whisper. “So… why did it happen?”

“Because some people, some men, don’t care much for right or wrong. They just care for what they want, damn anyone else who says otherwise.”

“And you’re not?”

“Well, call me old fashioned but when a woman of the sea comes to my door proposing marriage, I’d like to get to know her a little better first.” That prompted a laugh from her. She had a nice laugh. “When my mother told me those stories, about selkies, she always made sure to tell me that it wasn’t right, what happened to them. I was always a bit sad they left their children without a mammy, but they never wanted it in the first place. Sometimes, they already had husbands and children. The men in those stories just didn’t care. Some people just don’t, so long as they get what they want. I can tell you, I speak from…”

He trailed off, wincing at the memories that crept back into his mind. The dread. The fear. All from someone he thought that…

“Speak from what?”

He looked up in surprise. Niamh was looking at him expectantly. How long had he been quiet for? He instinctively wiped at his eyes and tried to smile.

“Doesn’t matter. But regardless, Niamh, my point stands. You’re a fine woman, both in your looks and your bearing. Nobody but yourself should decide if you’re ready, or even wanting, for marriage. We understand each other?”

She nodded. “Aye, I think so. Thank you.”

“Happy to help. Would have preferred you not breaking and entering to have this little chat, but I won’t get myself in a tizzy over it.” He frowned. “How’d you get in, anyway? You use your selkie magic?”

“You left a window unlocked downstairs, you daft ba… lad,” she corrected herself. “Selkies don’t have magic like that. You want creeping inside your house when you’ve got your doors locked, ask a banshee.”

Connor chuckled, then suddenly stopped. “Wait, they’re not real as well, are they?”

“Might be,” she said with a teasing smirk. “Right, I suppose I’d better be going. Leave you to… whatever you humans do after your ‘opening hours’. Sorry.”

“Water under the bridge. You just take care.”

“Yeah. You too.”

Neither of them rose from the chairs for a bit. When Niamh stood up and went over to retrieve her coat, she seemed almost reluctant.

“Wait.”

Niamh stopped and looked back at Connor. She seemed just as surprised as he felt at his call. Connor had to admit as well that, barring the unusual circumstances in both her arrival and nature, he didn’t want her to go just yet.

“Look, like we’ve said: marriage isn’t something either of us are looking for. But that uh… well, that doesn’t mean we can’t get to know each other a little better in the meantime. If you want to, of course,” he added.

“Well…” She pursed her lips in thought. “I suppose that, if I ever do decide to find myself a husband, might do well to understand the goings on up here.”

“No selkie men where you’re from?”

She scoffed. “Trust me, no self-respecting selkie woman wants to get with a selkie man. They’re an incorrigible lot, especially with human women.”

“Not much different from men up here?”

“Seems so. Besides, humans are all the rage where I’m from. If I do find myself a man, I at least want him to be interesting.”

“You’re not going to leave your coat around for me to ‘find’ then?”

“Oh no, you had your chance. This coat stays with me.” She scooped it up and plonked herself next to him on the sofa. “So, what were you up to before I so rudely interrupted?”

“Well, I was about to put on the show I’ve been watching on Netflix recently but we could always watch something else. I’m a fair ways through and you may not get what’s going on.”

She tilted her head. “What’s Netflix?”

“Oh, you poor deprived lass.” He flicked his TV on. “Consider this your first lesson of human life.”

“Is there going to be a test?”

“Maybe further down the line.”

They both laughed and sank into the sofa cushions. As they ended up in something of an impassioned debate of what exactly to choose, Connor remembered thinking how much he usually enjoyed the peace and quiet. Not just in his job, but his life too. He remembered thinking how jarring it could be if it was suddenly disturbed.

Well, he thought, maybe the occasional disturbance wasn’t entirely unwelcome…