Darkness Before the Sunrise

I’ve been best friends with three girls for five years. Up until September eighth of 2023, it was senior sunrise and I went with, my current friends, Noemi, Angela, Gabby, and Anabeth.

At senior sunrise there was a reason why I went with my current friends. I went with them because my "best friends" Aliyah and Madylin told me the day before they weren’t going when I asked them through text message. My other best friend Melanie, told me she asked Aliyah if she was going to senior sunrise and she wasn’t. So I showed up to senior sunrise with my friends. It wasn’t until an hour or two later into the event that morning Noemi asked "is that Madylin?" and I told her "No, it can’t be she said she wasn’t coming remember? I told you earlier Aliyah and her said they weren’t coming". Then Noemi called out to the girl walking past us. “Madylin!”, the girl turned around looking for the person who called her name.

After the girl turned around, we noticed it was Madylin. Noemi and I both felt so many emotions in that moment. We all stared at each other and it was at that moment when I realized…I wished I could go back to when I first became friends with Madylin and Aliyah because I knew there was no way Madylin would come by herself. I knew she was with Aliyah because they ask each other to go anywhere if they are allowed to. I wanted to go back to when we all started talking so I could end the friendship that was going to happen before it started; but I knew I couldn’t because without meeting them I never would have gotten closer with Noemi and I wouldn’t want to lose her as a best friend after what we’ve been through. Once I finished my thought I snapped back to reality and saw Noemi looking at me in surprise, shock, and a hint of confusion. While Noemi stared at me, all emotion I felt sadness, anger, resentment, disappointment, betrayal. They disappeared and I was left staring at Madylin with no emotion whatsoever and her staring back at me before I asked her the question I had in my mind since she turned around.

I asked Madylin "what are you doing here? You said you weren’t coming". All she said was "Ali asked me yesterday if I could come" and shook her shoulders in an I don’t know or whatever expression and ran off. I knew she would say that and I felt anger and betrayal again because they didn’t have to lie to me. They could’ve told me they were coming and said they wanted to come with each other but didn’t know I was coming. At that moment, it felt like something died that day. Something did die that day it was our friendship that was hanging on my a thread. By a thread because Madylin invited me to the football game a week or two before senior sunrise and she never showed and left me by myself with Aliyah. While I was in my thoughts, I realized that I put leaving our friend group off too long because I didn’t know how to go back to being by myself. Since middle school, me and Noemi thought Aliyah and Madylin would change from when we were in middle school to now because it’s been 5 years and it stayed the same even while we’re in high school.

The flashbacks in my mind took me back to middle school when Aliyah and Madylin would run away from us to tell each other secrets and would never tell me and Noemi any of them. Then that flashback from middle school took me back to when we were in sophomore year when we all had lunch together. Me and Noemi would sit across from Aliyah and Madylin looking at them confused because they would stare at their phones laughing with each other while we stared at them and looked back at each other confused and left out. We asked them every day if they would tell us what they were laughing about and they always said "no" or "Madylin told me not to tell you guys". They told each other secrets and inside jokes and not telling us and made us feel excluded. After thinking back, I came back to reality and told Noemi how I felt about the situation.

To be honest, I should have known our friendship was based on lies. I should have known that Madylin and Aliyah were fake people. Noemi and I knew Madylin and Aliyah couldn’t choose between having a best friend or being in a friend group. So in a way, Noemi and I did them a favor. We chose to leave the group and not talk to them again. I stopped talking to them and they never texted me once to see if I was okay or anything and that’s when I knew they didn’t actually care about me. They did the same thing to Noemi so we decided not to have anything to do with them anymore. I also found out that Aliyah lied to Melanie about talking to me in the morning of one of the days I didn’t talk to her or Madylin. I was not happy about her lying to Melanie but I wasn’t going to get involved. Now I’m happy with the friends I currently have.

I did learn something from that football game and senior sunrise though. I learned that no matter what I will have someone who actually cares and loves me in the end of a bad situation or even a bad day. I only learned this because the only excuses I have heard from Madylin and Aliyah are “oh I fell a sleep” and “I can’t hang out today”. Madylin and Aliyah’s excuses when I asked them to hang out were because they didn’t want to be with me and have fun. The both of them never did anything with me when I asked them to hangout; but when they asked me to hangout I said yes because I would never say no to having fun with friends if it was actually going to be fun. After everything I learned that I gave a lot more than I had to because they took what I gave them and never gave back. All they do is take, take, and take but they never give. I just wish I had a chance to go back in time and actually catch or notice the mistakes in our friendship before it was too late and blew up in my face.

In the future, I know what to look for in my friendships so that nothing like what happened on September eighth happens again. I decided just because they hurt me doesn’t mean I should stay clear of them. It means that I should let them see me in the halls in passing period so they realize their mistake. Realize that they hurt someone that gave them hundreds of chances and never once left them out of any secret or conversations and fun hangouts.